


Alternate Realities Vol 24. Spin Cycle Girl

by MARKSE



Series: HUMANS FAN FICTION - Reformatted Works for easier reading [20]
Category: Doctor Who, Humans (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 07:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 34
Words: 41,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11099568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MARKSE/pseuds/MARKSE
Summary: A bit of a mashup for those who like Dr Who and HUMANS.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Although there's a rape in the story the reader is spared from the details.

Caroline put down the brush and gave her hair another check in the mirror before snapping a selfie. She looked towards the kitchen, "Mum! I'm going to the shops."

"For what?"

"Things."

"What things?"

"Our sort of things."

"Ok, come straight back, dinner will be ready soon. Is your brother still doing his homework?"

Caroline looked at her much younger brother. "Yes." He was doing something. Calling it homework was stretching the description somewhat, but her mother wanted to get him into a routine ready for school.

"No lingering at the shops waiting for boys."

Caroline sighed, "Okayyyy Mummm."

Her weekend jacket was on the peg, under her school blazer. She checked the pocket for her felt purse, a gift from her father. He'd found it in London, it was square with rounded corners, made to look like the old Instagram camera logo. It was probably the cheapest gift he'd brought her, but easily the most special. He'd been paying attention to things she liked.

The things she'd admit she liked at least. She didn't talk of one thing high on her list, a human. A specific male human. Her crush.

"Caroline, can you get milk, we're running low."

"Okay Mum."

The walk to the shops wasn't long, long enough to want to listen to some music of her own though. Her little brother Tom didn't like her music, it didn't sound like the music played on CBBC. He was a major pain in the butt at times. If she put music on in her room he'd create. Really create. Mummy's boy.

She skips tracks from Pop Evil's Footsteps to Epica Unleashed and shoves her hands in pockets and attempts to sing along.

The corner shop was in sight when she's jumped from behind and screams.

"Caroline, chill out!"

"Janice! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"I was calling your name since the main road."

"Why?"

"Doing anything at the end of the month?"

"Not particularly."

"Good, there's a party at Danny's."

"Which Danny?"

"Smith."

"And?"

"Mattie Hawkins is invited."

"And?"

"She might get her brother to come along."

"And?"

Janice giggles, "You've well got the hots for Toby." She puts an arm around her friend and skips to get her feet in step.

"No I haven't."

"You're hair's on point. Who for if not him?"

"Me."

Janice pulls her sideways to walk through a small puddle. "Okay honey bunny, Toby's _still_ top secret."

"I just said.."

"Yeah, your _mouth_ said, your face always says something tots diff. Don't worry, BFFs keep secrets right?"

"Right."

Janice let go of her friend so they could walk either side of an old man on mobility scooter. "Where you going Car?"

"Shops. Milk and tampons."

"Oh. Nothing exciting then."

"What are you doing all the way over here?"

"Me? Nothing, just escaping the house with a fucking long walk while things cool down."

"Your mum and dad fighting again?"

"Yeah, Dad accused mum of caring more about our synth than him, called Persona _build a boyfriend_. Mum went fucking mental and threw his dinner at him. Spag went all over the living room wall. Simon's trying to clean it all up but that shit stains. He's probably going to have to redecorate tomorrow."

Caroline pictured Toby, "Build a boyfriend. If only."

"Like Build a Bear, but better in bed.."

"Only two years and a few weeks until we could use the 18 plus options."

"Mum had Simon modded. 18 plus restrictions removed."

Caroline stopped walking. "Modded how?"

Janice turned briefly to see she'd stopped and kept walking. "To be her sex machine."

"No way!"

"Yes way. He's quite well equipped."

Caroline walks fast to catch up, "You haven't.."

"Have. I bent over and pulled my skirt up, knickers down and said have at it."

"Shit! What was it like?"

Janice burst out laughing, so hard she folded at the knees and waist, had to hold onto a parking restrictions sign post to stop herself from falling over.

"Janice?"

It takes a good few seconds for her friend to recover. "Oh Car I love you but you're _so_ gullible sometimes! I'm not letting a robot stuff his bits in me, no way! _Especially_ if he's modded."

"Why especially?"

"You've not heard?"

"Heard what?"

"Some woman in the city had one modded, the thing wouldn't stop demanding sex. Her husband had to whack it. And another's killed someone."

"NO WAY!"

"Yes way. Terry said."

"Who's Terry?"

"My uncles's friend's son. His dad is a reporter."

"So someone you don't know.."

"Doesn't matter if I know him."

"And a reporter? The crap they write.."

"Not this one. He's a.. fuck. Forgotten it. The ones that investigate shit. Proper like. Not ones that just copy shit from other papers."

"Investigative reporter?"

"Yeah, that's the sort."

"Did your mum really have him modded?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think your dad worked it out?"

"Maybe. Probably. Don't care."

"Modded for what?"

"Sex. Dad wouldn't do something she wanted."

"How would you know?"

"I overheard her talking on the phone. I'd picked my handset up just as the modder she was calling answered."

"So you listened in?"

Janice pushes open the shop door. "First time, honest. And last. Hearing what she wanted.. ewww. I'll grab the milk."

"Thanks."

Caroline gets to the back of the shop where all the toilet and bathroom stuff lived and grabbed the last box of Tampax Compak Pearl regular. She hated using them but hated pads even more. Evolution hadn't exactly been even handed when deciding who got what, at the end of the isle she grabbed some ibuprofen just in case.

Janice sticks her head around the shelves. "Thought you'd got lost. Shopping for condoms now?"

"No! Painkillers."

"Grab some incase you get lucky with Toby."

"You need your head sorting. No way am I becoming a teen mom."

"Der.. that's what they're for.. you know.. to stop stuff."

"And people put them on wrong and split them. You think my mum and dad planned to have my brother?"

"No shit! He was an accident?"

"You're one of only four who know now. You've got to keep that secret."

Janice takes a pack from her pocket, "Forgotten it already. I'm getting my money back."

"What! You never.."

"I was _thinking_ about it. Only thinking. Your milk."

"Thanks."

"What're you listening to?"

"Epica."

"Cool. I wonder how Simone's baby turned out?"

"She had a boy. Vincent. He'll be two in October."

"How do you know that?"

"Wikipedia. They played a teaser sample of next years album on the rock show last night."

"I missed it. What are they calling it?"

"The Holographic Principle."

"Shit. Sounds right up our street. If you had to use one word to describe it.."

"Easy. Epic!"

"Better than the last one. You'll love it."

"You didn't record it did you?"

"What do you think? "I'll drop the mp3 in the usual place."

"You fucking hero!" She plants a kiss on Caroline's cheek. "Thanks Car!"

On the way back home Janice puts her arm around her friend again. "If you come to the party bring some drink. Hide it where boys won't think of looking."

"What sort of drink?"

"The grapevine says Toby likes cider."

"Okay."

Janice reads her friends face again and kept quiet, got her phone out and took a selfie of them both.

[Chapter-2](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-2-1)


	2. Chapter 2

Caroline put down the brush and gave her hair another check in the mirror before snapping a selfie. She looked towards the kitchen, "Mum! I'm going to the shops."

"For what?"

"Things."

"What things?"

"Our sort of things."

"Ok, come straight back, dinner will be ready soon. Is your brother still doing his homework?"

Caroline looked at her much younger brother. "Yes." He was doing something. Calling it homework was stretching the description somewhat, but her mother wanted to get him into a routine ready for school.

"No lingering at the shops waiting for boys."

Caroline sighed, "Okayyyy Mummm."

Her weekend jacket was on the peg, under her school blazer. She checked the pocket for her felt purse, a gift from her father. He'd found it in London, it was square with rounded corners, made to look like the old Instagram camera logo. It was probably the cheapest gift he'd brought her, but easily the most special. He'd been paying attention to things she liked.

The things she'd admit she liked at least. She didn't talk of one thing high on her list, a human. A specific male human. Her crush.

"Caroline, can you get milk, we're running low."

"Okay Mum."

The walk to the shops wasn't long, long enough to want to listen to some music of her own though. Her little brother Tom didn't like her music, it didn't sound like the music played on CBBC. He was a major pain in the butt at times. If she put music on in her room he'd create. Really create. Mummy's boy.

She skips tracks from Pop Evil's Footsteps to Epica Unleashed and shoves her hands in pockets and attempts to sing along.

The corner shop was in sight when she's jumped from behind and screams.

"Caroline, chill out!"

"Janice! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"I was calling your name since the main road."

"Why?"

"Doing anything at the end of the month?"

"Not particularly."

"Good, there's a party at Danny's."

"Which Danny?"

"Smith."

"And?"

"Mattie Hawkins is invited."

"And?"

"She might get her brother to come along."

"And?"

Janice giggles, "You've well got the hots for Toby." She puts an arm around her friend and skips to get her feet in step.

"No I haven't."

"You're hair's on point. Who for if not him?"

"Me."

Janice pulls her sideways to walk through a small puddle. "Okay honey bunny, Toby's _still_ top secret."

"I just said.."

"Yeah, your _mouth_ said, your face always says something tots diff. Don't worry, BFFs keep secrets right?"

"Right."

Janice let go of her friend so they could walk either side of an old man on mobility scooter. "Where you going Car?"

"Shops. Milk and tampons."

"Oh. Nothing exciting then."

"What are you doing all the way over here?"

"Me? Nothing, just escaping the house with a fucking long walk while things cool down."

"Your mum and dad fighting again?"

"Yeah, Dad accused mum of caring more about our synth than him, called Persona _build a boyfriend_. Mum went fucking mental and threw his dinner at him. Spag went all over the living room wall. Simon's trying to clean it all up but that shit stains. He's probably going to have to redecorate tomorrow."

Caroline pictured Toby, "Build a boyfriend. If only."

"Like Build a Bear, but better in bed.."

"Only two years and a few weeks until we could use the 18 plus options."

"Mum had Simon modded. 18 plus restrictions removed."

Caroline stopped walking. "Modded how?"

Janice turned briefly to see she'd stopped and kept walking. "To be her sex machine."

"No way!"

"Yes way. He's quite well equipped."

Caroline walks fast to catch up, "You haven't.."

"Have. I bent over and pulled my skirt up, knickers down and said have at it."

"Shit! What was it like?"

Janice burst out laughing, so hard she folded at the knees and waist, had to hold onto a parking restrictions sign post to stop herself from falling over.

"Janice?"

It takes a good few seconds for her friend to recover. "Oh Car I love you but you're _so_ gullible sometimes! I'm not letting a robot stuff his bits in me, no way! _Especially_ if he's modded."

"Why especially?"

"You've not heard?"

"Heard what?"

"Some woman in the city had one modded, the thing wouldn't stop demanding sex. Her husband had to whack it. And another's killed someone."

"NO WAY!"

"Yes way. Terry said."

"Who's Terry?"

"My uncles's friend's son. His dad is a reporter."

"So someone you don't know.."

"Doesn't matter if I know him."

"And a reporter? The crap they write.."

"Not this one. He's a.. fuck. Forgotten it. The ones that investigate shit. Proper like. Not ones that just copy shit from other papers."

"Investigative reporter?"

"Yeah, that's the sort."

"Did your mum really have him modded?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think your dad worked it out?"

"Maybe. Probably. Don't care."

"Modded for what?"

"Sex. Dad wouldn't do something she wanted."

"How would you know?"

"I overheard her talking on the phone. I'd picked my handset up just as the modder she was calling answered."

"So you listened in?"

Janice pushes open the shop door. "First time, honest. And last. Hearing what she wanted.. ewww. I'll grab the milk."

"Thanks."

Caroline gets to the back of the shop where all the toilet and bathroom stuff lived and grabbed the last box of Tampax Compak Pearl regular. She hated using them but hated pads even more. Evolution hadn't exactly been even handed when deciding who got what, at the end of the isle she grabbed some ibuprofen just in case.

Janice sticks her head around the shelves. "Thought you'd got lost. Shopping for condoms now?"

"No! Painkillers."

"Grab some incase you get lucky with Toby."

"You need your head sorting. No way am I becoming a teen mom."

"Der.. that's what they're for.. you know.. to stop stuff."

"And people put them on wrong and split them. You think my mum and dad planned to have my brother?"

"No shit! He was an accident?"

"You're one of only four who know now. You've got to keep that secret."

Janice takes a pack from her pocket, "Forgotten it already. I'm getting my money back."

"What! You never.."

"I was _thinking_ about it. Only thinking. Your milk."

"Thanks."

"What're you listening to?"

"Epica."

"Cool. I wonder how Simone's baby turned out?"

"She had a boy. Vincent. He'll be two in October."

"How do you know that?"

"Wikipedia. They played a teaser sample of next years album on the rock show last night."

"I missed it. What are they calling it?"

"The Holographic Principle."

"Shit. Sounds right up our street. If you had to use one word to describe it.."

"Easy. Epic!"

"Better than the last one. You'll love it."

"You didn't record it did you?"

"What do you think? "I'll drop the mp3 in the usual place."

"You fucking hero!" She plants a kiss on Caroline's cheek. "Thanks Car!"

On the way back home Janice puts her arm around her friend again. "If you come to the party bring some drink. Hide it where boys won't think of looking."

"What sort of drink?"

"The grapevine says Toby likes cider."

"Okay."

Janice reads her friends face again and kept quiet, got her phone out and took a selfie of them both.

[Chapter-2](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-2-1)


	3. Chapter 3

Caroline adjusted her car cushion and hit the play button to listen back to the paragraph she'd just written. She not paid for an app in ages. She had to admit this one was rather good and worth the money. Listen done she pulls out one earbud, "Where did you hear about this app Dad?"

"One of the guys at work, he writes fiction with it. He admits it's become a bit of an obsession, walking to the shops, waiting for trains, sat on the train, having lunch, he'll be writing. He's passed the one and a half million words count and.."

" _How many!?_ "

"A lot isn't it. He says it's taken him a couple of years to do it."

"Wow. What does he write about?"

"He got hooked on Elemental, that modern day American take on Sherlock Holmes, he's written thirty something short stories based on the characters."

"Thirty! And I moan when we get asked to write a single short essay. Has he had them published?"

"Only online."

"Not turned into books?"

"He couldn't sell them, he'd have a copyright lawsuit on him in a flash."

"So he does it just for fun?"

"Yup."

"Weirdo."

Her mother turns in her seat, peers past the headrest, "What's weird about it?"

"Writing all that for nothing."

"You ride your bike, nobody pays you to, you play guitar with the band, for free. He writes, nobody pays him either. Your hobby choices are different, so what? If you enjoy it, you're getting exercise or being creative, using your head.."

"I guess so. It's just.. a million and a half words.. the hours that must have taken."

"Hundreds I'd bet."

Caroline raised her eyebrows and looked out of the window at the trees. "Are we almost there?"

"Twenty seven minutes according to Waze."

"Great. No 4G yet and the 3G's flaky."

James shakes his head a little and smiles, "No Instagram access for a while won't kill you."

"I know. But I need iCloud to back up all the words I've written."

"Oh. How many?"

"How do I tell?"

"Tap the cog icon top right."

"Um.. wow! Six thousand four hundred."

"You've not changed your phone since our last visit so as soon as we're close to the reception it should connect and back up your work."

"Cool."

Tommy yawns and turns, "Cool."

Caroline turned to see him, "Are you awake Tommy?"

Tommy returned his thumb to his mouth and shifted in his child seat.

"That's a no then."

She rests her head against the glass and smiles, snaps a selfie with the phone out to the side. She'd photographed so many since getting her first iPhone that she could point it the right way with her eyes closed. Dad had joked that it became an extension of her hand. Thing was it wasn't a joke. If the art of the selfie ever needed a teacher she'd be high on the list for the job.

At the park perimeter a synth gives them a very emotionless wave.

"Bloody robots."

"James, what did we agree?"

He looks at his wife, "Louise, you said, I didn't agree.."

"Mum, Dad, can I go for a ride as soon as we unload? My bum's going numb."

"Sure."

"Thanks!"

With the bags all brought into their log cabin Caroline puts on her bike helmet and gloves. "I'll stay within the perimeter."

"Got your phone charged and on their WiFi?"

"Yes Mum."

"Have a great ride."

The ground was slightly damp from rain earlier but not muddy. Shingle flew as she did her stand on pedals and release brakes start. She was very much a girly girl at school, a rock chick when with the band. On a bike she could hold her own and was fearless! She didn't have the strength of a boy but she made up for it with efficient use of the gears and good stamina. 

She raced past the building holding the reception, shop and restaurant and headed towards the more challenging trail. Gears clicked into sixth she picks up speed, keeps an eye on a couple walking with a dog off the lead. Past the dog she stands on the pedals and gets faster still.

Three hundred yards on two trails merged into one, a lad on a bike shot past then matched her speed, kept a few bike lengths ahead. She'd seen his profile for a fraction of a second, it looked a hell of a lot like Toby. Coincidence? Toby's bike was the same type and colour from the photos she'd seen. Had she been a bit stalkerish on Facebook? Yeah. She had. She'd also seen Toby in a photo wearing the same colour jacket. "TOBY!"

No matter how fast she tried to go he matched it and stayed ahead.

Then he slams on the breaks and skids, she shoots past. What? The trail opened into a road, she used it to turn and double back. Where'd he gone? She gets back to the spot where his bike had left skid marks in the soft dirt and looks around. There he was, he'd gone off trail. She gives chase.

There were a lot of stones and gnarly roots trying to make life hard, she bunny hops over the largest ones with ease. "TOBY!"

The density of the trees dropped and she found herself in a clearing with others. Toby stops and lets the bike drop, pulls out ear buds and pockets them, pulls out water bottles from his jacket pockets and hands them to a lady and man in costumes.

"Toby?"

The lad turns, "Oh, hello. No Toby here. Come to watch?"

"Oh. Sorry, I thought you were someone else. I thought you were a boy from school."

"I'm Vincent. Tyler is the orc warrior, Kendra is the elfen warrior princess."

"Do you like rock music?"

"I do. Why?"

"I was just thinking about a coincidence. Nice costumes, what are you doing?"

"Getting footage for a friend."

She looks around and sees their equipment, "You're making a film."

"Yup. Well a short. We're doing the army fight." He waited for the sarcastic comment and frowns when it doesn't come. "Do you know what we're doing?"

"If that's a motion rig on the weighted tripods, yeah. I'm in a band, a bunch of friends made a video of us with one."

"What did they do with it?"

"Got everyone twins."

"Brilliant! That's what we're doing, just getting way more than twins."

"How many?"

"As many as we can before the light changes too much. We better crack on."

"Sure."

"You can watch, just stay on the other side of the rig where the jackets are."

"Okay."

Vincent wheels his bike over and drops it behind the jackets. "Right, take seventy two!"

Caroline raises eyebrows and keeps quiet. 

Tyler and Kendra's swords clang as they get fighting. Holy crap! They weren't using foam props! She watches the rig track the camera left and turn it. It was all over in half a minute.

"And cut! Cloak change please Kendra, brush your hair over the other way Tyler."

Seconds later they were doing another fight much further away.

"ACTION! Good aren't they?"

"Those weapons look scary!"

"They're totally blunt. But you could still score some damage if you hit someone with one."

"Why use them?"

"Realism. The looks on Kendra's face match the effort she's putting into it."

"How's your friend going to edit all of them together? Doing a static composite takes long enough."

"He's written an application, it looks at all the pixels from all frames in all the sequences, works out what's static ground and trees, works out the depth with motion tracking, automatically layers them in the right order and does the z masking. He'll just grab a coffee and wait. Maybe tidy up the odd bit it gets wrong."

"Wow that's some serious number crunching."

"Yeah."

Caroline looks at the tripods. "Shame the legs have been sinking into the ground, you'll probably have alignment errors."

Vincent turns to see, "Oh crap!"

"Sorry to part with bad news." She picks up her bike, "Hopefully he can process them in sets?"

"Yeah, something like that. CUT!"

"See ya."

[Chapter-4](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-4-1)


	4. Chapter 4

Caroline padlocked her bike to a tree and stepped inside the cabin entrance.

"How was it?"

"Good Dad. The ground's soft but not muddy. I think I spoilt someone's day pointing that out."

"How?"

She got her trainers off and stepped into the lounge. "I watched a group filming, they hadn't put anything under the tripod legs. They'd been sinking into the ground."

"Why would that be a problem?"

"They've been doing lots of takes, want to layer them, like the My Synth Twin video."

"Ah. I guess it's best to know now, not work it out after spending days and days trying to figure out why it's not editing together."

"Where's Mum?"

"Gone for a walk to the shop to buy Tommy something."

Caroline rolled her eyes, the retail therapy was becoming a habit. "Why does he need a new toy every time we go on a break?"

"Probably the same reasons you did."

"Did I?"

"You most certainly did. Although with you it was soft soft soft, not hard plastic action figures. Not that they'll find any here."

She flops down onto the sofa, "I bet they manage to find something."

"We're in a forest, there'd be no reason to stock action figures. And it's a tiny amount of space they dedicate to the shop."

"Even still.."

"Did you go in the shop?"

"No, shot past it."

"Not on the way back?"

"Same again."

"I'll bet you my turn at cooking that he comes back empty handed."

"You'll lose Dad."

"Not tempting enough? My cooking _and_ making beds."

She frowns at her father, "You're that confident?"

"I am."

"You're crazy. You're on. Scrabble?"

"Sure."

They're four turns in when Tommy comes running from the small entrance hall. " _I am Groot!_ "

Caroline bursts out laughing, "You lost Dad!"

Louise steps into the room, looks at the board and frowns, "Lost? You've hardly touched the letters?"

"No Mum, Dad bet Tommy couldn't find an action figure toy."

"Ah. Want to start a new game?"

"Sure."

_I am Groot!_

"Mum! You got a talking toy? Smart move. Not."

" _I am Groot!_ "

"No Tommy, you're Tommy."

"I AM GROOT!"

"Jeez. If you say so. Are Groot and Groot playing Scrabble with us?"

"No! Groot not play Scrabble."

"Shall we go for a bike ride instead then? You can put your glasses on and be Groot's friend Star Lord."

"Who's Star Lord?"

"The one with the cool space ship."

"Okay!"

Caroline uses a couple of spare hairbands to fasten the Groot doll to the front of her father's bike. "There you go. Groot and Star Lord ready for adventure." She looks up to see her grinning mother. "What?"

"Nothing."

"No seriously, what?"

"Nothing. Which way are we heading?"

"We could go where I went earlier, see if they're still filming? Tommy would like the orc warrior."

"Okay, you lead."

They soon found Vincent, Tyler and Kendra, they were walking in the direction of the car park. The family slow.

Vincent smiles, "Hello again. We're calling it a day. We'll be back tomorrow for a take two with some boards to put the tripods on. Ten degrees of tilt forwards will have ruined it. My friends application may be good but not _that_ good."

Caroline flashes a guilty smile, "Sorry."

"Wasn't your doing. Anyway, you've saved us a lot of embarrassment long term. Are you here tomorrow?"

"Yeah, just the weekend."

"Cool. See you tomorrow maybe?"

"Sure."

Tommy's eyes were on the massive swords. "Were you _fighting_?"

"Play fighting, for a film, not real fighting."

"I'm Star Lord, this is Groot."

Vincent smiles, "We'll see you tomorrow then Star Lord. We need a strong drink."

The large orc nods, "And a hot bath. I'm sweating like a wild hog in here and my fan batteries have all died."

Tommy frowns super hard, "A you a simf?"

"No, I'm in a costume."

"That's not your real face?"

Kendra bursts into a fit of giggles, "He'd not be my boyfriend with big tusks like that!"

Tyler nods, "Dribbling can be a problem when you can't close your mouth fully." He reaches up with his free hand and works the over-teeth dentures off. "God that feels better."

Kendra gets a tissue and wipes his face. "Beast back into a beauty. I need a good soak too, and get our costumes into the washing machine. See you all tomorrow hopefully."

[Chapter-5](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-5-1)


	5. Chapter 5

The two groups went their own ways.

James and Tommy followed the ladies. "Where are we heading now then?"

"Pass. Caroline, where are we going now?"

"How about the wigwams?"

"Okay. Wigwams dear."

They're following the dirt road when a blue van comes bombing around a corner.

James gets to the side just in time. "TEN MPH SPEED LIMIT FOR CARS!"

The driver doesn't blink, just keeps going.

"WANKER!"

"James!"

"If I hadn't moved Tommy and I'd quite probably be dead!"

"Be as that may please don't use that word in front of the children!"

"Okay. BASTARD!"

Caroline snort laughs. "Much better Dad."

Seconds later a man in baggy running clothes comes hobbling around the corner clutching his side. He stops and leans over to catch his breath. "Did.. did you.."

Caroline looks behind her, "See a blue van?"

"Yes." The man's breath slows a little, "They took my Sally!"

"What?"

"My synth. I can't remember the number plate. GJ03 something."

"I'll get it! They've got to go the long way around, I can cut through the park! Wait here!" She heads for the trees.

James watches his daughter go, "Don't get too close!"

"I won't. Back soon!"

Girls were generally supposed to be rubbish at understanding three dimensional space and scale. It wasn't true. Definitely not for this one. Over a number of visits she'd mapped out the many acres of land in her head. She knew where all the best humps were to get airborne, the dips to pick up speed. She peddled fast, kept in a semi-standing position to let her legs take the shocks that got through the sprung frame. A quick swerve to avoid a wild rabbit almost had her into a tree, why do so many animals run ahead to escape rather than dart off to one side? She bunny hops over a small fallen tree and tracks left. The road was a few hundred yards away. Through the sound of birds and wind at her ears she hears a noisy engine. Not a van, it was one of the big heavy lorries used to carry trees for cutting into timber. With all her might she accelerated.

Skidding across the dirt road dangerously close to the front of the lorry she screams. "STOP!" She hits an old tree trunk on the other side and is thrown over the handlebars.

The brakes come on hard and the lorry skids to a halt, the driver leaps out. "Shit! You okay miss?"

She looks up at the lorry driver. "There's a blue van coming, it's carrying a stolen synth!"

"Is it now?"

"Yes! I've just peddled across from near the Wigwam bit, a man had just had her stolen."

The driver gets on his radio. "Guys. We've got a blue van heading towards the south exit. If it manages to turn around and head for yours stop it leaving. It's carrying a stolen synth." He smiles and helps her up. "You'll need that wheel bent back into shape, we'll take it up to Simon when we're done."

Caroline looks at her bike. "Eh? Oh _crap_."

"Don't panic, Simon'll get that straight no worries. A dark blue boxy looking van?"

"Yeah."

"Here it comes. Get well out of their way."

She unlocks her phone, "Can you photograph it?"

"Sure." He holds the phone in one hand, pulls out a large heavy axe from behind his driver's seat. "If they don't want to stop and go to squeeze past they're losing a tyre." He flexes several times, getting the axe balanced comfortably in his large hand. "Please try and pass. Please try. THANK YOU!" Like a gladiator throwing a discus he spins around twice, lowers as he spins and throws the axe into its own spin towards the van. It meets the driver's side rear tyre and there's a mighty bang as the tyre shreds and axe jams between wheel and bodywork. One wheel down the van starts drifting sideways, the driver still trying to escape.

"He's still going!"

"Not for long. I'll be right back." He tosses her phone over, jumps into his lorry and races off after the van.

Caroline picks her bike up and drags it to the road, sits down on the tree trunk and looks at the phone. "How?" Throughout his walk, spin, throw he'd clearly been tapping the shutter button repeatedly with his thumb. Many of the pictures were blurred, some showed the back of the van clearly enough. There's the sound of something crashing. The bike wasn't going anywhere. She ran.

Lorry man had one man on the ground, was tying his hands and feet together with his trouser belt. A second man was out cold on the dirt.

"OMG! Is the other one dead?"

"No, just unconscious. He dared to take a swing at me so I gave him a little tap."

"A tap?"

"I'd have snapped his neck if I'd really wanted to hurt him. I'm a boxer in training."

"Oh. Why do you work here then?"

"They're flexible with my hours." He hauls the bound and shouting man up off the ground like a captured animal. "Open the van would you?"

"Sure." She does so and sees Sally on her back on a load of soft sponge blocks. A foot slips as she climbs in and she smacks her knee on the edge. "Shit that hurt.. Give me a sec to power her up."

Lorry man waits as his wriggling prisoner shouts what sounds like swear words. "Eastern European I think, no idea which country. If you've got a signal can you call the police?"

"Sure. Mind if I call my parents first?"

"This fool can wait a while, go ahead."

"What's your name?"

"Jack. Just don't dare prefix it with Lumber." He winks.

"I won't. I'm Caroline." She had a signal, just. One bar. "Mum! I'm at the road to the south entrance. You won't believe what's just happened! Tell the man his Sally is here, I'm powering her up and calling the police. Come meet us." She hangs up before her mother can get a word in, chin taps Sally.

The familiar sound plays. "Hello. Where is my primary user?"

"On his way here with my family I hope. Can you climb out?"

"Of course."

Caroline moves out of the way.

"That's the man that powered me down."

Jack smiles, "Now it's his turn to go in the back of the van. If you could please ladies, my arms are tiring."

Caroline gets out and helps Sally down, watches Jack bend backwards, haul the man higher and throw him in. The second man is dragged around to the back, picked up and thrown in.

"If you could get the keys, we'll lock them in." He reaches for his belt and frees the driver, starts threading the belt through the loops of his workman's trousers.

The driver rolls over and crouches, makes it clear he's thinking of bolting.

Jack waves a fist. "Wanna try punk?"

Before he can answer Caroline slams one of the doors shut, Sally copies her. A second later Caroline is dangling keys from her little finger, the doors now locked. "That was awesome!"

"Police?"

"Oh, yeah. I've not called 999 before, this will be interesting."

[Chapter-6](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-6-1)


	6. Chapter 6

Just over half an hour later Sally's owner is giving them all hugs. "I'd be lost without Sally, she's my care synth. I'm Peter by the way. I've got hyperthymestic syndrome.."

Louise gives him a worried look, "Is it dangerous?"

"No, no, I have an extremely detailed autobiographical memory. I can recall events from every day of my life, assuming the day wasn't boring or too stressful."

"So you've got a mind like a synth?"

"A bit. With Sally able to remember everything I can fight it and let her remember the details instead. You wouldn't believe how draining it can be to have your brain so active all day long."

Louise nods, "I can begin to, you should see Caroline after long revision days and an exam."

"Can I treat you all to dinner to say thanks?"

Louise looks at her husband then son, "It is getting late, Star Lord needs to eat soon."

Peter smiles, "We're both good cooks, could rustle up something super fast?"

"Okay then. You're staying on site?"

"Cabin thirty two."

"Twenty two."

Jack smiles, "I better tow that van out of sight."

"You'll join us for dinner though?"

"Sure. If you've got enough food, I eat like two horses."

"I'm sure we can accommodate even the hungriest of stomachs. I brought supplies for a week, can go get more on Monday. Shall we say three quarters of an hour?"

"That would be grand."

Caroline picks up her bike. "I'll have to see.. um.. Simon in the morning."

Jack places a hand on the saddle, "He's not here Sundays. Can I drop it into him now?"

"Oh, yes please!"

"Okay, I'll see you as soon as I can. I'll get the van out of the way first, drop the bike in and change. Don't let me hold up the lad eating if he's hungry." He hauls the bike up, hooks it over a branch of a tree on his lorry. "See you shortly."

Caroline watches him take a big heavy chain from a metal box under the main body of the lorry. He hooks one end onto his tow hook, throws the other towards the van. "It's not got a tow hook?"

"I won't need one, I'll feed it through the drivers window, out the other side and back onto my hook. It'll do a load of damage but it's a write off anyway. Hopefully the tree they hit can be saved. How's your knee?"

"Fine thanks, it was like hitting your funny bone, didn't hurt that long."

"Good. See you all in a bit."

They all watch as Jack hauls the van sideways with the lorry, then away.

As it passes the police car that had been hidden from view Sally sees the driver's accomplice. "I only got to see the one man before I was powered down. He must have been behind us."

Peter takes her hand, "He was. I'll do my best to make sure that never happens again."

Caroline grins, "Get her modded so you have to be touching a second spot for the power down signal to activate."

Sally smiles, "If that is possible it would be a wise move."

"Would you like that?"

"I can neither like nor dislike, only come to conclusions based on available data."

One of two police officers walks over, "Sir if you could come to the station tomorrow and formally identify the two?"

"Of course."

"They had a mass of cash and maps on them, I suspect they've been doing this for a while. You did well stopping them."

"We have this young lady to thank, she went off track and raced across rough ground to get here."

Caroline blushes slightly, "It wasn't all me, Jack helped stop their van."

"He did? How?"

Realising she might be about to drop him in it she bent the truth a little. "He dropped an axe so it would work like one of your police stingers."

"He did? Quick thinking. Both of you. I'll see you tomorrow sir."

Peter thanked them again and started walking back to his cabin with Sally.

Caroline let them get some distance. "Still think all synths are a waste of space Dad?"

"No, not all. And definitely not Sally."

"Can we double up Mum? I'll peddle, you sit."

"Um, okay, if you think that will work?"

"I know it will, I've given Janice lifts that way."

"Come on then, let's go get changed."

They're half way back when there's a beep beep from behind, Jack wanted to pass. He yells through the open windows as he gets along side Caroline and Louise. "Van done, Simon's waiting, says he'll do it in a few mins."

"Cool! Thanks!"

He accelerates off down the track.

Louise tightens her grip around her daughter, "He's quite nice."

"Mother!"

"I mean his personality. He looks a bit rough around the edges, could probably hold his own in a fight."

Caroline laughed, "He said he _tapped_ the other man, knocked him out cold."

"Really? One punch?"

"It didn't sound like he thought of it as a punch, said he'd have snapped the mans neck if he'd really hit him. He's a boxer." Caroline feels her mother's arms wrap around her more. "Mum?"

"Sorry. Daydreaming."

"About him?"

"Your father putting on a few pounds. Of muscle not fat I hasten to add."

"Okay mum, you can let go a bit." She changes down a gear for the uphill slope then another.

James and Star Lord Tommy pull alongside. "Tommy's saying he's hungry, maybe we give him a biscuit to take the edge off?"

"Yes dear."

"We've said yes to dinner with no idea of what he's into food wise."

"True. Nothing too spiced I hope."

"I could cycle over and ask?"

"And decline his hospitality if we don't like the sound of it? No, I'll cross my fingers and hope it's something nice." She held her daughter by the hips as she powered up the slope to their cabin. "What's the dress code do you think? Jeans or a dress?"

"I'm sure it won't matter."

"A dress then, Sally's in a dress."

James powered ahead and got Tommy off his seat, opened up the cabin.

"Mum?"

"Yes dear?"

"When did you start seeing boys?"

"Sixteen and thirty seven weeks." She lets out a giggle.

"That's quite specific."

"Two weeks off three quarters."

"Did you have many boyfriends before you met Dad?"

"A few. A real mix of men. Well boys back then."

"Did you.. know.. do it?"

"Not until I was older."

"How old?"

"Older. Can we talk about it another time?"

"Sure Mum."

Tommy got a couple of Jaffa Cakes to munch on while the others changed.

Louise watches her husband button up his fresh shirt. "It's that time."

"Which one?"

"The time when _I_ talk to our daughter about the birds and bees, not the school."

"Do you think you'll have anything different to tell her?"

"From personal experience, hell yes."

There's a loud banging on the front door.

Caroline calls out, "I'll get it!"

"Check who it is first!"

"Okay!"

Louise pulls up the long side zip on her dress and wriggles the hem down. "How do I look?"

"Gorgeous as always."

There's a nock on the door. "Mum, Dad, are you ready?"

"Almost. Who was it?"

"It's Jack. He's got a six seater golf buggy."

"He has? We're only going from twenty two to thirty two."

"You forget how far apart each one is Mum. And Peter's one isn't in our block."

[Chapter-7](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-7-1)


	7. Chapter 7

Peter opens the door, "Hello again! Come in, come in."

Tommy races in, the smell of food having wafted out through the hall.

"I'm so sorry, please excuse our son."

"It's not a problem, come in."

Inside Caroline and family find a wide range of food set out buffet style. "Wow! Have you just made all this?"

"Yes. I'm a chef, I've been travelling the world researching for my book."

Jack bends over the table and takes a good sniff. "I'm beginning to salivate already. What's the book?"

"Tasty and healthy dishes in twenty minutes is the working title, it needs something snappier."

Caroline copies Jack and smiles, "Mmmm. Snappy Happy Healthy Dishes. People will be Instagraming the food they make from it. You could have a tag line _Fast healthy food you'll want to photograph_."

"Food for thought, thanks."

"Welcome."

"Grab a plate and help yourselves."

Louise does as asked, "You can't have done all of this in twenty minutes surely?"

"Each took twenty, we'd start one, get it cooking and start the next. We've got a multiple timer app people can download. Sally of course doesn't need it."

James takes a plate, "I love the look of that one, what is it?"

"Chickpea curry. That one's only a twenty minute dish if you ignore soaking them over night."

Caroline follows her parents, "Love these mini breads, well cute."

"Thanks, Sally makes those."

"Vegetable spring rolls?"

"Those ones, yes."

"There's others?"

"Yes. Any of you vegetarians?"

"No."

"Try one of these then." Peter picks up a bowl and holds it out.

"What's in it?"

"Try one and you tell me."

Caroline does as asked. "Crispy duck with hoisin sauce? And cucumber in a spring roll? How? You can't cook a duck crispy in that time?"

"You can, if you prep the meat in the right way. And have a synth friend who can use a knife safely at speed."

Caroline licks her lips, "Why didn't the cucumber cook and go all mushy? It's still got crunch."

"It's chilled close to freezing first, the sauce until it's solid, the spring roll covering is super thin, they're flash fried very quickly."

"Does the sauce freeze that fast?"

"When spread thin enough, yes."

"Cool. They're really yummy."

Hearing yummy Tommy stands on tiptoe to try and see into the bowl.

They all take a spot on the long curved sofa.

Caroline smiles at Jack. He'd had a shave and change of clothes, slicked back his long dark hair. He looked quite handsome now. "That thing you did with the axe was amazing. How'd you learn to do that?"

"I trained as an olympic athlete, then got a bad knee injury. By the time I fully recovered I was too out of shape and couldn't compete. I still went and supported my friends. Then I stepped in when things kicked off with another country's athletes at a party, I tapped a man on the chest and sent him flying. That earned me my Opm nickname."

James frowns, "Opm?"

"O P M. One punch man. So now I train as a boxer."

James licks his fingers, "How many fights have you had?"

"None."

"Why train then?"

"For the fitness and discipline."

"You don't want to fight?"

"No. If the great Ali was float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, I'd be stagger like a drunk, punch like a freight train."

"And you don't want to take that skill into the ring? Why?"

"I wouldn't just harm my opponent. I might kill them."

"But surely.."

"Listen. My trainer had me tested. _If_ I allowed him to register the results I'd hold a world record for the most explosive punch. I don't want that attention. All the have-a-go nut cases that would come out of the woodwork to try and prove something. So I keep busy with the trees, try and keep harm out of the way."

Louise gets up and grabs a few more things to try, "You mean keep out of harms way?"

"Not when I'm the harm."

"Aww, that must make life very lonely."

"I'm good. Although having met Sally I'm thinking one might keep me company. Just so I don't talk to myself and the trees so much."

Caroline smiles, "You talk to the trees?"

"And give them hugs. All the big ones have names. Which reminds me, the one the van crashed into, her bark will need patching up, she's big enough to be named now. How'd you like a tree named in your honour young lady?"

"Um.. sure. Don't hug me too tight."

Jack chuckles, "It's only a quick hello hug, like you'd give your brother."

Caroline turns to her brother, "You're not into hugs are you Star Lord."

"Only with Mummy."

Sally turns to Peter, "How are you feeling?"

"Relaxed, thanks. And you?"

"My diagnostics confirm no damage was done when I was put in the van."

"But how do you _feel_?"

"As I have said repeatedly, that is an emotional state I will never experience. But for you I'll call a perfect systems check fine. I feel fine."

Caroline smiles, "Never say never. One day a headcracker will sort that, I can feel it. There's a girl at school who aces all the computer classes, I bet she'd make a good headcracker."

Peter smiles at his synth. "We live in hope then. Who'd like a drink?"

With Peter and Sally in the kitchen James leans back into the sofa and talks in a hushed voice. "If they do properly feel one day we'll get decent expressions on their faces. The wave and psycho axe murderer grin of the guy at the main entrance gives me goosebumps every time I see him."

Jack does a good belly laugh, "I'll not be using the axe I threw at the van again, the handle cracked, maybe he could use it as a prop?"

James does a shiver shake, "No thanks!"

"I was joking.."

"I don't doubt it. Just the thought of it.."

Peter returns with a tray of drinks. "Thought of what?"

"We were just talking about the synth at the main entrance."

"Oh, him. What a job. Stand and wave, all weathers, nothing else. A human would have gone a bit stir crazy with boredom by now. What did you think of synths before today Jack?"

"Me? Er.. I guess I viewed them like my axe, chain-saw and the likes, a tool to get a job done. I'd never had a conversation with one other than our bicycle repair man Simon, he doesn't say an awful lot. Other than him I've just seen them at a distance." He smiles at Sally, "There's clearly more to them than I thought possible."

Caroline shifts forwards and sits on the edge, "You'd get one now?"

"I'll give it some serious thought."

"Would you have it modded?"

"What's that?"

"Modified, made to do things differently."

"Like what?"

"Behave even more human."

"Is that legal?"

"No but.."

"Then no, if it's not legal it's done by someone with low morals, who knows what else they might have it do? Like empty my bank account when I'm not looking."

Caroline's eyes opened super wide.

"My answer shocked you? You know someone who's had one modded as you call it?"

"Um, yeah, my BFF's Mum."

"BFF?"

"Best Friend Forever. Soz. I mean sorry!" Caroline blushes a little and quickly types out a text to Janice.

Tommy looks around the food and to his mother for guidance not recognising any of it. There wasn't a bit of mash in sight. "Groot is hungry."

"He is, is he? What sort of things does Groot like to eat?"

Tommy shrugs, "Same as Star Lord?"

"Well I think Groot will like everything. Shall I put some more things on Star Lord's plate to try?"

Caroline turns to Jack, "If you're two horses Jack, what you see before you is an extra compact horse with hollow legs. I think his stomach extends down to his knees."

Tommy turns and frowns hard, lips tight in an annoyed pucker.

"If you could get the record for punching, Tommy could get it for volume of mash potato eaten in a single sitting."

"Groot make you stop!"

"How?"

Tommy throws his action figure hard.

Sally leans sideways and catches it. "Who was that aimed at?"

"Me probably."

"Star Lord needs some throw and catch practice."

Everyone stares at Sally.

James asks, "You called him Star Lord? Not Tommy?"

"Is that not the alternate designation that is preferred at the moment?"

"Haha, yes, yes it is. You're learning."

Caroline sits back and thinks for a moment. "Do you share?"

"I do share."

"Can you share a message with a specific synth in mind, like wrap the message in a digital envelope so that only the right synth opens and reads it?"

"An encrypted payload is what I think you're asking for. I would need to know the identity of the target synthetic."

"Oh, of course."

Louise takes a sip of wine, "What makes you ask?"

"It was just an idea. Janice says Danny Smith's parents are talking about hiring a Sally to help out at the party. As you'll look exactly the same it would be nice to be recognised."

Sally smiles, "If you would like I could get the message to every Sally."

"How?"

"By sharing a request for identification first. We all have a unique serial number along with model number, batch number and build date. Where is the party to be held?"

"His parents house in London."

"I could ask that only Sally units inside Greater London reply as it is probable that the Sally unit will be hired locally."

"Cool. Can she Dad?"

"An extra pair of eyes to keep an eye on you? Sure, why not? Do you agree Louise?"

"Most definitely."

"Request sent."

Caroline frowns, "To who?"

"A Simon model in cabin thirty and a Hubert in thirty five."

"Sweet! Can I have a photo with you?"

"If Peter agrees."

"Knock yourself out. And feel free to photograph any food before it disappears into a Star Lord sized black hole. All of you, please, help yourselves."

[Chapter-8](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-8-1)


	8. Chapter 8

Sunday morning Caroline wakes and smiles to herself. She liked her room. It was a lot smaller than her bedroom at home, but so cozy and warm. The mattress was just right, the sheets the right sort of soft. Cocooned in cotton bliss she thought of all the things tucked up in the bug hotel she'd helped make last visit. It was super simple, a block of wood with parallel holes of mixed diameters drilled into one face. A group of teens had been given supervised lessons on how to use a pillar drill. She'd made one for the forrest, one for home. Her father had helped put it up high were Tommy couldn't reach it.

She pats the bed covers until she feels her phone, grabs it and checks for notifications.

Janice had sent a photo of herself posing in front of a wall, hands and arms held like a magician's assistant. The blank bit of wall behind her had been captioned, "Spag stain to no stain. Again!"

She taps out a reply, "You should have come with us and hired a bike!"

The early morning light filtering through the blind was soft, ideal dreamy selfie light. She lifts her head from the pillow, carefully arranges her hair and lowers it back down. Phone held at two thirds arm's length she snaps a shot.

She hears footsteps. "Are you awake?"

"Come in Mum."

Louise comes in and closes the door, yawns. "Star Lord was fidgeting all night, we hardly got a wink. Sleep well?"

"Like a bug in a bug hotel."

"You couldn't look after Tommy for us this morning could you? We'll head back to bed. I don't want your father falling asleep at the wheel on the way home tonight."

"As long as it's for sleep and not making me another brother or sister.."

"Caroline!" Louise sits on the bed, her shocked expression slowly softens, "That won't happen again, I've been taking the pill for a while, I'll make sure he.."

"Mum! I don't want to picture you and Dad at it. That's just icky."

"Okay, picture Brad and Angelina, or.."

"Mum! Dad looks nothing like Brad."

"Thanks."

"Sorry."

"I meant thanks for not saying I look nothing like Angelina." She turns and lies down next to her daughter.

"You're not the same, just as pretty."

"Aww thanks. So who's your current crush?"

"I don't have one."

"Don't fib. I've seen you scrolling through a mass of pictures when you think I'm not looking. Does he have a name?"

"Mum.."

"Funny name for a boy. Is he Turkish or.."

Caroline laughs, " _Mother_!"

Louise does a chuckle and brushes a few hairs away from her daughter's face. "Have the school stressed the importance of foreplay?"

"Are we really having this conversation now?"

"Your father's asleep, Tommy too. Can you think of a better time? Then I can tell your father we've had the chat and he can relax. It worries him."

Caroline does a long sigh, "Okay. Let me hear your version then."

She listened attentively, imagined Brangelina going through the motions. Imagining Toby getting onto the other side of the bed had been far too distracting and quickly pushed from her mind. Having watched all the school videos and slides, heard all the talks from teachers she could picture things reasonably well. Far too well actually. Good job nobody could look into her imagination.

Twenty minutes later her mother rolls off the bed onto her feat. "Belt and braces right? No accidents?"

"When I'm ready to try. Which won't be for ages yet. And I don't want to start on the pill yet."

"Good. Fancy a cooked breakfast?"

"Cereal will do, I ate far too much last night."

"Me too. We could have it for lunch later?"

"Sure. Star Lord would probably like that."

Louise chuckles, "The nickname's stuck." There's the sound of small feet running. "Talk of the little monster.."

Bang bang. "Mummy? Are you in Caroline's room?"

"Yes My Lord, I'm in here."

"Can I have some Sugar Puffs?"

"You may. Is your father awake?"

"Yes."

Caroline frowns comically at her mother, " _My Lord_?"

"I feel like a servant sometimes. I can't wait until he can reach everything and help himself."

Caroline's phone rings, a Face-time call from Janice. "It's Janice, she's up early?"

"I'll go sort his lordship out with Sugar Puffs."

Caroline answers the call and turns onto her side, rests her hand on a palm. "Janice? What's up? Why are you crying?"

Janice wipes tears running over already smudged eyeliner. "Dad's moving out!"

" _What_?"

"For years Mum would end a jab with _you can pack your bags and leave then_. He says he's fed up and heard it once too many. She's away on a training course and he's doing it! He's fucking doing it! I don't want him to go! What do I _do_ Car?"

"Um.. when you say he's doing it, what exactly is he doing?"

" _Moving out_!"

"You said, breathe for a moment. What _exactly_ is he doing right now? Packing a bag, packing his computer.."

"The _whole fucking lot_! He's got a friend to come around with a van and boxes. Clothes, his home office, everything that's his."

"Shit."

"I don't want him to go Car!"

"Have you told him?"

" _Of course I've told him_!"

"Told him what? What words did you use?"

"That I want him to stay."

" _Exact words Jan_!"

"Dad, please stay."

Caroline rolls onto her front and frowns. "Offer him your room."

"What?"

"Tell him he can have your room, you'll have the small room."

"Are you kidding.." she sniffs and wipes her nose, ".. actually.. that might work. Send Mum a fucking huge hint that she needs to chill the fuck out. Like a trial separation but not. A warning shot. I'll call you back in a bit. Wish me luck!"

"Lots and _lots_ of luck!"

Janice blows her friend a kiss, wipes her eyes on her PJ sleeve, smiles and hangs up.

One big fluffy dressing gown wrapped around her she shuffles into the living room. "Slow down Star Lord, they won't run away. Morning Dad."

"Morning Caroline. Everything okay?"

"Here, yes. Jan's Dad is moving out, maybe."

"He's finally had enough?"

"Yeah. I suggested she offer him her bedroom, she desperately wants him to stay."

"Where would she go?"

"There's a small room, just big enough for a single bed. No idea what she'd do for storage, it's not big enough for a deep cupboard."

"You'd be surprised. There's lots of firms doing fancy furniture for rooms tight on space, beds that turn into desks, overhead storage, beds on frames with draws or that lift up to reveal storage space below."

Louise sits down with a bowl of Shreddies. "It would feel claustrophobic if you put a lot of furniture in."

"If you didn't add a giant mirror. Ooo, now there's an idea!"

"Where Dad?"

"The Paternoster Square site, they did a refit of a dining area with large plastic mirror sheets. She could cover a wall in it, it would make the room feel bigger."

"Sheets? Like big plasterboard sheets or wallpaper?"

"Somewhere in between from what I saw. They're large but thin. I don't think you can roll them but you can cut them easily with a sharp knife."

"Are they expensive?"

"Pass. I'd have to talk to Dave on Monday."

"Could you? If they're not too expensive I could get some for her birthday, help her with a room makeover."

"When's her's? It's before your birthday isn't it?"

"Three days before."

James adds something to his calendar, "Ok. Can you find out the length and height of the longest wall then? What's on the agenda today?"

"Riding, watching Vincent and friends, lunch, more riding."

"Okay. I better get showered and dressed."

"Me too."

Louise tightens her dressing gown, "The shower can wait. Caroline's looking after Tommy, you and I are getting some sleep. And I mean sleep."

With her phone in the waterproof and shock proof case she used when at the forrest Caroline showered and surfed for storage furniture. A load of screen shots later she messages the lot to Janice with a question.

She smiles as her yawning parents return to their bedroom. "What do you fancy doing Tommy?"

[Chapter-9](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-9-1)


	9. Chapter 9

Days later Caroline and her father stood by the front door with the insanely large flat gift wrapped box.

"Is she in?"

"She said she was when I messaged earlier."

The door opens and the family's Simon smiles at them. "Hello."

"Hello Simon, is Janice in please?"

"She is changing, who may I say is calling?"

"Caroline and her Dad."

"One moment." He closes the door.

James looks at his daughter, "Home from school late?"

"Pass."

Janice opens the door, drops of white paint in her hair. "Car! Is that for me?"

"Happy BFF Birthday!"

"Um.. it's a bit big, what is it?"

"Deh, it's a surprise, we need to take it up to your room."

"Okay. Watch out for paint on the floor, I managed to spill some and the ground sheet had torn."

"What have you been painting?"

"The ceiling."

"Not the walls?"

"Dad says they come next?"

"Awesome. Just in time. Lead the way."

James looks at the large box, "The empty wall, is it on the left or right when you enter the room?"

"Left. Why?"

"Turning this around when we're inside will be a PITA."

"A bread?"

"Haha. No. Pain in the arse."

"Dad!"

"Pain in the bum PITB doesn't work as well."

Caroline rolls her eyes, "So which end first?"

"My one. Let's swap. Actually, maybe Simon should take your end."

"I'm not that weak."

"No, but we've not had to go up stairs with it yet, you can help watch and guide us, make sure we don't hit anything."

"Okay."

Ten minutes later they'd managed to get it up and around the stairs, into her small bedroom.

"Happy Birthday Janice." Caroline gives her BFF a good hug.

"Thanks. Do I open it before or after I've painted the walls?"

"Right now!"

"Okay."

"Mum and Dad out?"

"Mum's food shopping, Dad's looking for a new storage bed for me." She rips wrapping paper off and frowns at the large blank box. "How do I open it?"

James points, "This end is probably best."

She finds scissors and cuts the tape, opens the short flap. "What is it?"

"Pull one out."

She does so. "Wow! Where'd you find this?"

James smiles, "One of the offices I work at. They did a wall with it, it got nicknamed the Fleek wall."

Janice and Caroline roll their eyes.

Janice shakes her head. "Selfie wall. Fleek's such a dumb arse word. Why say fleek when there's on point?"

"Isn't that part of the job description for you kids, making up new words?"

"What like using bae? A boy at school says that's the Danish word for poo."

James chuckles, "Is it? I won't be able to look at some of the staff without cracking a smile now. There's enough sheets in there to cover the wall. It just needs some No Nails type glue spread super thin with a spatula and sticking on, the sheets trimmed to fit first. If the wall is flat enough they say the joins practically vanish."

Simon does the creepy eyes then head turn, "Would you like me to fit it for you Janice?"

"Um, sure. Do we have glue?"

James pulls two tubes from his jacket pockets. "Glue yes. One of those gun things to put it in no."

"We have one. And a suitable knife. If you would like to leave the room I'll make a start."

Janice smiles at him, "Sure, we'll be downstairs."

Kettle filled she grabs a knife from the draw, "Birthday cake with your cuppa?"

"Mmm nice." Caroline looks at the partial words left in the icing. "Sweet sixteen?"

"Yeah. Mum baked. She's not done that in years. I'm hardly sweet but it was nice of her. And it's not a shop cake made to look home made." She picks a letter off. "Sixteen. Weird how we're the oldest two in our class by months."

James nods as cake is waved in his direction, "Yes please. The first of September is the cutoff date for schools, it's like all the other parents deliberately chose a birth date _way way_ before that and counted back nine months to.."

"Dad."

"Yes?"

"Mum's had the talk."

"I know. Maybe I should have just said weird too, not tried to think it through. Statistically there should be at least _some_ children in the months between. It's as if something major happened and has been covered up, wiped from the collective consciousness." A big bite of the cake is taken, "Mmm."

Janice grins, "You're the ultimate Whovian. Tea or coffee?"

James makes the letter T with his hands, his mouth momentarily full of cake.

"Car?"

"Tea please. I've had enough coffee for this month. I swear if they throw another stack of practice papers at us I'm going to go bonkers on late night coffee overload."

James wipes crumbs off his lips and looks towards the ceiling as if looking through it to see Simon. "Why did your family get a synth?"

Janice shrugs. "I don't have a clue what the original reason was. It wasn't as if we were _that_ busy. Keeping up with the neighbours I guess."

"And now the family's got one, would you give it back?"

"He's the reason Mum and Dad had a falling out, Dad would prefer him gone, Mum says no. He thought she cared more about the synth than him."

"Was he right?"

"Maybe." She places two mugs on the table and glances at her friend. "Back then at least."

"What does he do around the house?"

"Cleaning, decorating, shopping, cooking, washing, gardening, _stuff_."

Caroline chokes with a mouth full of tea and blows it through her nose.

"Eww Car! That's _gross_!" She grabs the kitchen roll and rips off a few sheets.

James watches his daughter wipe herself down. "What made you choke?"

Caroline doesn't speak for a moment, still recovering, "No _are you alright_? Thanks Dad!"

"You're not making a pained face. Are you alright?"

"Embarrassed, otherwise fine. My nose feels weird but not painful."

"Your sinuses may feel it later. What made you do it?"

"Simon.."

Janice smiles, "Simon! Is it done already?"

"The glue sets extremely fast and the sheets cut cleanly. It is done."

"Awesome! Let's go see my selfie wall!"

The three sat on the bed and looked at each other's reflections.

Janice smiles widely, "Best birthday present ever you guys! Thanks!"

James returns the smile, "Hopefully you won't feel so penned in with it giving the illusion of double the space. You did a good job fitting it Simon, well done. Good job you don't have a Star Lord to get his sticky fingers all over it Janice."

"Star Lord?"

Caroline smiles and nods, "Latest nickname for Tommy. He got a Groot action figure at the forrest. Which reminds me, Vincent messaged me this morning." She gets out her phone and forwards a message, "Can we watch something on your Air?"

"Sure babe. Won't be a sec." she runs from the room.

"Air?"

"Macbook Air Dad. Her present from her Dad."

"Oh, she's shown it off on Snapchat or.."

"Instagram."

"Dad."

"Yes?"

"You'd make a rubbish poker player. You have haven't you?"

"Have what?"

Lightning fast she reaches a hand out towards his hip and starts tickling. " _Daaad_ "

"I'm not talking!"

"Funny, those sounded like words escaping you're mouth! Talk!"

"Never! How do you know about poker?"

"A rock cover of Lady Gaga's Poker Face."

Janice brushes past Simon, looks at his emotionless face. "For fuck sake Simon, adjust your program. If you see someone being tickled and laughing crack a smile."

Caroline looks up, "Now he looks like creepy synth at the forrest entrance."

Janice sits next to Caroline, "Simon, how many facial controls do you have?"

"I have a full set just like a human."

"Awesome. Shift along guys, when we're done with the Mac I'm teaching Simon how to use them better with my new selfie wall. Simon, sit next to me." She opens up the iMessage app and clicks the link her BFF had just sent.

They all watch in silence as two armies at war slug it out in the forrest.

Credits roll.

"Fucking hell that was good!"

Caroline nods in agreement, "Imagine if we got them to make our next video. A sequel to My Synth Twin."

"Fuck! A title's popped into my head! Synth Life. Have us dressed like Sally."

A post-credits clip plays and Janice bursts out laughing. "OMG! Tommy! Was that staged?"

"Yeah, they got Mum on the far right out of shot and told Tommy she had a pack of Jaffa Cakes. He ran across the view barging the Orc just as planned, that's Vincent yelling Cut."

"Class! That's going to help it go viral."

Caroline tilts her head sideways, "How about we do a sponsorship link up with Peter, ask him to let us have his Sally in the next video, feature his food? No idea how much Vincent's mate with the video composite software would charge."

[Chapter-10](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-10-1)


	10. Chapter 10

Three days later Louise knocks on Caroline's door. "Are you awake?"

"Come in."

Tommy rushes in holding a box. "Happy Birthday!"

"Aww, thanks Star Lord."

Her mother and father enter, "Happy Birthday darling."

"Thanks."

Tommy holds out the box. "This is for you."

"Is it? Thanks." Wrapping paper removed she opens the plain white box and frowns. It was empty. "Did someone wrap the wrong box?"

Tommy shakes his head. "Mummy says you can't put it in a box."

"Can't put what?"

James spins her chair around and sits down. "A weekend with ZProductions."

"Who?"

"The chap Vincent worked with. It's all been arranged through Janice, she's written a song. Peter and Sally will be attending. You'll have a couple of days to practice."

"How am I going to do that! Jasper's away for the week on a trip.."

"Don't panic!" Louise steps out of the room and returns with another box. "Janice put the whole thing in Garage Band."

She takes the box and grins. "It's not just full of air like the other box is it?"

"Yes. The Macbook type."

"AWESOME! Thanks!"

Her father hands her an envelope. "Since you didn't want a big party here's a reservation to a restaurant, bill sorted, money for the cinema. You can take Janice out for a meal tonight, usual cab and phone rules."

"Aww, thanks guys!!"

"Fancy a slap up cooked breakfast?"

She checks her phone, "Not if I'm to catch the bus."

"It's all cooked, your father's taken the day off, he can drop you and Janice to school."

Caroline shakes her head, "By the time I'm ready.."

"She's downstairs trying to resist eating the sausages."

" _What_?"

"She wanted to bring your present over early before school."

She carefully puts the box on the floor and races downstairs, bug-eyed.

"Jan?"

"Happy Birthday!"

"Thanks! This is a first. Why so early?"

"Because I've got something that might put you in a good mood for the whole day. Your birthday present. From me and Mum."

"Your Mum?"

"Yeah. Dad too but his contribution's a secret okay?"

"Huh?"

"Close your eyes."

"Okay."

Janice reaches down and grabs her present. "Keep them closed, put your hands out. Further apart. A bit more. Here you go."

Caroline feels the gift being carefully placed into her hands. "OMG JAN! Can I open my eyes?"

"Now, sure."

"OMG! The Dean Edge Skull Crusher!" She does a high pitched squee noise. "THANKS!"

Janice picks up a small box, "This will let you hook it up to the Air."

Caroline puts the bass guitar on the sofa and gives her friend a hug. "You've spent way too much."

"Nah, Dad worked out how much you'd spent on the mirror stuff. And anyway, your suggestion about the bedrooms got my parents thinking. They're better off together than apart even if they have separate bedrooms for a while. The adapter's from Dad by the way. You better get dressed."

Caroline looks at her pink silk PJ, "Yeah, wearing these to school.."

"Would get Toby well flustered."

"Good job I washed my hair last night. Give me five minutes." She grabs the guitar and adapter and takes them upstairs.

Her family were sitting on her bed.

Louise stands, "That's a long guitar!"

"It's a bass guitar Mum, just like the other one."

"It looks longer."

"Probably because it's not been repaired. The bit in the middle of the neck where Steve repaired it makes it look shorter."

"Don't let him sit on this one then."

"I won't." She made a mental note to never rest a guitar flat on a sofa again. Especially with Big Steve about. "I need to get dressed."

"Okay. Come on Star Lord, you can help Mummy get the knives and forks out and lay the table."

Caroline watches her parents go, leaving another box on the bed. "Mum?"

"To be opened alone."

"Okay?"

She watches her mother pull the door closed and sits on the bed. The box was around the same size as the first empty one. Paper ripped off she grins. Even if she'd not seen the logo she'd have known it was Victoria's Secret from the striped two tone pink. "Please be the ones.."

Box opened she does a little shimmy. It was the matching bra and knickers set she'd pointed out at Westfield. Two lots too! She'd wear one set today, keep the other fresh for the party at Danny's.

Dressed for school fast and downstairs she takes a seat at the table. "Thanks Mum!"

"They fit okay?"

"Perfect."

"Good. Did you see the gift card in the bottom?"

"No?"

"It must have slid under the paper. You can get a few more, throw out all your old ones."

"Really? Thanks! I feel so spoilt."

"You've worked so hard on your school work, you've earned it. Pass me your plate."

James takes her glass and pours her orange juice. "I'll do the school run this afternoon too, give you both plenty time to get ready to go out."

Janice holds a fork full of breakfast millimetres from her lips. "What?"

"You've not forgotten?"

"Um.."

"The restaurant?"

"Oh crap. Tonight. I forgot to get a dress."

James sighs, "Okay.. school run _and_ fast trip to Westfield."

The girls exchange Wallace and Gromit style smiles.

"Do you have shoes? If not I'm bringing some work to get on with while you both shop."

Janice shakes her head.

Caroline's eyes slowly widen. "OMG! As I've been such a good girl can you get me those Oswald pumps?"

"Which?"

"The red ones with the hidden heal that she wore in the episode when she's in a Dalek."

Louise smiles, "That red dress she wore.. I liked that look. Brilliant episode. _Run. Run, you clever boy, and remember_.."

James looks at his son, "Hopefully you'll be a Whovian too one day Star Lord."

[Chapter-11](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-11-1)


	11. Chapter 11

The drive to school was used to listen to the song Janice had written, one ear bud each.

Janice takes her's out, leans into the corner and smiles at her friend. "This is the happiest hump day ever!"

"Think you can remember the rift? You've only got Thursday and Friday night to practice."

"Can you save it in project format on the band's iCloud?"

"It's already there. Synth Life."

Caroline loads her iCloud transfer app written by one of the upper sixth girls and drags and drops the file from the band's cloud into her own, starts Garage band. She goes through the tracks and halves the volume of everything but the bass. "I'll have an ear bud in one ear hidden under my hair." She flicks it all to one side.

James looks in the rear view mirror, "I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

"Only during breaks Dad." She turns to her friend, "We'll be six form after the summer break, no more uniforms."

"Yipee. I hate this colour."

James glances at his daughter again, "Summer? If we get one. Have you seen all the shops selling jumpers already? Global warming's messing everything up. It's warm when it should be cold, cold when it should be hot."

Janice sits forwards, "I'm going on the school eco warrior trip in the summer holidays."

"Which country?"

"Switzerland."

"Nice! I went there once with work. Okay ladies, I'll see you just past the bus stop this afternoon. Remember to stick anything you don't need until tomorrow in the lockers."

"Thanks Dad."

They pass one of the school maintenance synths on the way to the entrance.

Janice turns to see him, frowns and takes Caroline's arm. "Did you hear the rumours?"

"Which ones?"

"Mattie and Harun tried modding him again."

"Harun? Darly says he couldn't mod his way out of a paper bag."

"So why does Mattie hang out with him? She's super smart."

Caroline does a shrug, "They're just mates."

Janice shakes her head, "I think it's because he gets weed."

"She's a stoner? What a waste."

The morning lessons went quickly, they met up again for lunch, Caroline practicing her part on the tray edge as they queued.

"What're you having Car?"

"Something light. I don't want to be full this evening. I had way too much breakfast."

"We'll get some awesome photos tonight."

"One good thing about having synth waiter staff, they can hold a phone super still for long exposure HDR shots."

"How many camera apps have you got now?"

"Lost count. I've got three folders for them now. I should delete a load."

Janice points at a quiche and salad, "One of those please. Why three?"

"Good, testing, undecided."

The dinner lady synth cuts a fresh slice, adds salad and passes it over.

"Thanks."

Caroline looks at the selection on offer. "The same please Vera."

The synth smiles and cuts another slice.

At a large empty table Caroline looks around to see who else was about. Mattie was sat at the far end of the dining hall with Harun, no sign of Toby and his mates. Maybe he was in the music room practicing. "Is Mrs Kowalewski still not out of the hospital?"

Janice looks at Vera, "Mr Owen said she cracked her hip when she slipped and fell. If she's got any sense she'll take the insurance money and early retirement."

"That's a shame, I like her. She's got a _wicked_ sense of humour. The fake slugs made from liquorice, seeing Will freak out when she picked one off the salad and ate it.."

"She got into trouble for that stunt."

Caroline smiled and nodded, "They were worth it, her pranks kept us on our toes." She sees Harun and Mattie get up. "Mattie's carrying her Slate, bet you they're up to something."

Janice turns around to see, looks back, "I wish I could code."

"You code brilliantly, just notes not bits. And I wish I could sing like you. OMG you're like an angel when you get singing."

"And a demon when I talk. Like the new song?"

"Love it."

"Nothing you want to change?"

"Nope. Let's have another listen."

The two sit in silence eating, an earbud each as before.

Song over Caroline pulls the earbud out and hands it back to Janice. "I could probably play that okay tonight if the Skull Crusher doesn't take too much getting used to."

"We're a right pair. I f-bomb too much, you say I sound like an angel when I sing. You're a sweetheart all day and turn into a rock goddess when you get your hands on a guitar. Has Toby seen you play yet?"

"Not that I'm aware of. He's not mentioned Synth Twin."

"You've spoken to him?"

"No. Everyone's that seen it has said something though."

"Maybe he's shy? You need to make the move."

"Me?"

"Derrr, yeah. You know, girl power.. Shame we still can't find a girl drummer to replace Ananya, she was fucking awesome."

Caroline does a wicked grin, "Big Steve and his boyfriend are our honorary girls."

"Car we used to be a _girl_ band. Jasper's great on keyboards but.."

"OMG!"

"What?"

"What are we wearing for the shoot?"

"Chill! It's all taken care off."

"It is?"

"It is. You'll like it. Honest. Want the last of my quiche birthday girl?"

"No, I can't finish mine. Sure it will fit?"

"How many times have we shopped together? Or course it will fit." Janice takes both trays, "How long to the next period?"

"I had mine last.. oh, that one. Maths with Mr Vidic in.." tap. "Fifteen mins."

"Right. I need the loo. See you there?"

"You need that long?"

"What did I have for breakfast?"

"Same as me."

" _Annnnd_?"

"Oh. Beans. I should have stopped you."

"If you hear a massive explosion someone was stupid enough to try and smoke in the ladies toilets."

"As if."

Janice stands, "We did the experiment together in chemistry, methane burns. Search for setting farts on fire while I go do a dangerous two. I think all the videos are blokes. The risk of blowback and damage to the insides doesn't put some stupid fuckers off."

"Can I borrow your earbuds?"

"Yeah, try not to laugh too loud, you'll attract a crowd."

Caroline watches her go and unlocks her phone, makes a note of the loud crowd combination for English lesson poem assignments and start the YouTube app.

[Chapter-12](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-12-1)


	12. Chapter 12

James slows as he approaches the school gates, is surprised to see the two waiting on the pavement. "They're keen!"

"What's keen?"

He looks in the rear view mirror at his son, "Excited, they want to do something."

Louise turns to face her husband, "Well you did offer to buy them a dress and shoes for tonight, show me a teenager who'd refuse your offer."

"True."

She giggles, " _And_ you said Westfield not Primark. Your credit card better have been doing yoga, it's going to get a good flexing from those two."

"You th.." He jumps on the breaks as the Lolly Pop lady steps into the road a few meters in front. "Shit! I swear that synth has a fault or a death wish!"

"She can't have a death wish, she'd have to be conscious."

"Then she needs reporting, she'll cause an accident stepping out like that."

"If you report her she'll be scrapped, that's cruel."

"Cruel? She's a machine. And you just mentioned a lack of a proper consciousness."

"I know I did but.. good they've spotted us. What if they develop one naturally? We must have evolved to have one. Why can't they?"

"They're machines Louise, they're programmed to do a fixed set of instructions."

"But they're learning machines aren't they? I know Carol next door got a DIY pack added to hers, but Sue at number eleven said she showed her Cindy how to do embroidery and it learnt, is now doing all the detailing on the prom gowns she makes. She didn't teach it the more complicated patterns, it worked it out for itself."

The rear doors open and the girls jump in, both look at Tommy sat in the middle.

"Hello Star Lord."

Tommy crosses his arms, being flanked by girls wasn't cool with his play group pals.

James looks in the mirror. "We're all going to Westfield, you two are with me, Tommy is going toy shopping hunting down another Groot for a boy in his class." He waits for them to buckle up then pulls out.

"Dad."

"Yes?"

"Remember you said your firm was looking for local charities to support?"

"Yes?"

"How about setting one up? To help girls and young women in the area."

"Go on."

"Janice was in a cubicle after lunch, a girl in the next one was crying her eyes out. Turned out it was the girl that has my old uniforms."

"The red haired one?"

Janice sighs, "Yeah, Jasmine. We never tease her about it, it can't be easy having lost her Mum. Well her Dad got replaced by a synth, they've been on social for a while and can just about cover the bills, have to go to food banks to eat. She can't afford hygiene products, normally skips school for a few days each month, her monthly had just started and she'd been caught out."

Louise shakes her head, "How awful." There's silence for a while. "Do you know where she lives?"

"Yes."

"Heard of Secret Santa?"

"Of course, the class does it every year. Why?"

"Add an i after the n, and ry at the end."

Caroline beams, "OMG Mum! That's brilliant!"

"If I buy some you could post them through the letter box. Do you know what she needs?"

"Jan? Did she say?"

"She likes pads."

"Consider it done."

James does a slow nod. "The firm likes IT solutions. How about they set up bank accounts and cash cards in the girls names, have a small monthly allowance paid into it? The public could help fund it."

"Not sure that would work Dad, they might be tempted to use it for food."

"Hmmm.. Stores accept coupons don't they? How about a coupon specifically for the product they need that covers the cost? The firm could post a batch once a month."

Janice nods, "That might work. Some might trade them with other girls for cash, their loss if they do."

"So it would be better to post product?"

"They might trade those too."

"There'll always be someone who abuses the system, I don't think we'll ever get away from that. Can you talk to Jasmine, get her father to call me?"

"Why?"

"We'd need someone to administer the charity. And our no-synth policy means we'd need another human."

Caroline leans awkwardly around Tommy's car seat to get closer. "You're offering him a job?"

"I want to see if he's up for having a job. Obviously I'd need to clear it with my boss, but once he hears the circumstances I think he'd agree. Her father could work from home, that would save a ton on travel costs, help them get back on their feet."

"Aww Dad."

"Aww what?"

"That's sweet."

"Who said you can't inherit things from your children?" His phone rings. "Could you answer that for me dear?"

Out of sight of the adults Janice pretends to stick two fingers down her throat and gets a smile and kick from Caroline.

Louise pulls it from his pocket as he wriggles and taps. "James's phone. Hello Peter.. Really? .. Oh, hang on a sec." she puts the phone to her chest, "Peter says the hotels we suggested are full, can we recommend another?"

"Both of them?"

"There's a convention on apparently."

Caroline holds onto the back of her mothers seat. "They could have my room, I could sleep on a sofa." She gets out her own phone and types a message super fast to Janice, passes the phone for her to read.

"Could I come over Friday night and sleep on the other sofa? We can chat with Sally, practice the track, have a sleep over _and_ I'm there and ready for when you want to head out for ZP."

James glances sideways at Louise with just his eyes, "What do you think?"

"It's Caroline's gift, why not?"

"Okay Janice, join us for dinner Friday night."

"Awesome! Thanks!"

[Chapter-13](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-13-1)


	13. Chapter 13

The girls watch Tommy and Louise walk off and turn to see James.

"Okay ladies. Shoes or dress first?"

Janice gives him a worried look, "When did you last buy your wife a dress?"

"A while ago, why?"

"You find the perfect dress _then_ accessorise. I thought everyone knew that?"

"Oh. So which dress shop first?"

"Any limit on budget?"

"Not as long as the total's under a grand."

Caroline grabs Janice's hand, "Karen Millen! That yellow dress!"

His daughter knew exactly what she wanted, was in and out in minutes. Janice on the other hand didn't have a clue. They went from shop to shop, looked at lots, she tried on nothing.

Then as they're about to leave a shop and discussing where to try next a lady walks in with her synth.

"Fuck me! _That_ is _exactly_ what I want!"

"The lady or the synth?"

"The synth's outfit! A Cindy isn't my size but that's the look I want. I've not seen anything like that in any of the shops."

"Where do you think she got it?"

"Not a clue."

James looks at the women, "I'll ask."

"Dad! That's uncool."

"Do you want to get to the restaurant this evening or spend the whole night here and eat fast food? We've not even started looking for shoes yet." He walks away.

"He does have a point Car, I've wasted loads of time."

"It's not a waste, you just eliminated lots of things from the list of possibles."

"Thanks."

James returns, "Good news or bad news first?"

"Bad."

"You can't buy it here. It's a one off."

"Crap. The good news?"

"The lady is a designer. She'll make you one if I wire the money. She says she's got everything in the car, would just need somewhere to set up. She'll get Cindy into something else so you're unique."

Forty something minutes later Janice steps out of the changing room in the designer jumpsuit. "What do you think Car?"

" _Wow_ is what I think!"

Janice lifts her heals off the floor, "I'll need shoes with a few inches."

"Or a slight platform sole."

"Yeah, that would do. Thanks Mrs?"

"Candlin."

The girls look at each other bug eyed, then to the woman.

Janice gives her a look of wonder, "You own a Cindy. You make clothes. Are you by any chance Danny Candlin's Mum?"

"I am. I take it you go to the same school?"

Janice smiles, "Yeah. We're in year eleven. Is he going to Danny Smith's party?"

"I doubt it, he's got a manufacturer from Singapore visiting soon, is trying to get a prototype update finished in time. Since you know Dan you can have the jump suit at cost, _if_ you help promote me on social media."

Janice grins, "Deal! What do we tag with?"

"Candlin designs."

"Just that?"

"Isn't that enough?"

Janice taps away on her phone. "Danny uses it too?"

"Yes. We thought a bit of cross promotion might help."

"I think it'll do more harm than good."

"Really?"

"Anyone looking at your stuff by tag will see a mix of clothes and electronics, get confused as to what you do. See?" She shows the screen.

"Oh. What would you suggest?"

"Multiple tags. With mine I find a lot of people tap the first or last few. Make those ones more specific to you."

"Like?"

"Um.. Candlin fashion, fashion, candlin family, designer, bespoke, candlin fashion."

Mrs Candlin frowns, "You can use them more than once?"

"You could use red red red red red red if you wanted."

"You're hired."

"Sorry?"

"I make, you model. I'd made fancy dress costumes up until now. Cindy's lovely, my walking talking, dress making mannequin. She's adorable but she's no idea about social media. Me neither. The blind leading the blind. Cindy dear, are you changed?"

"I am."

"Out you come then."

The synth steps out into the corridor.

"Good, let's get you home and into something else."

James holds out his phone, banking app loaded. "Name your price and key in your account details please."

Mrs Candlin passes the phone to Cindy, "Could you enter our bank account please dear?" In seconds it's handed back, "Thank you dear. Does sixty pounds sound good? That's the best red silk I could get."

"Call it eighty. Thanks."

Janice gives Caroline a grin, turns to the designer, "It's pure silk?"

"Yes. Dry clean only. Or if you must machine wash use a cold cycle, don't spin and take it out the second it stops and hang it up. Can I have your contact details? In the Company field put Model and your hair colour."

"Sure." Janice takes the phone offered.

Mrs Candlin smiles at Caroline, "Then yours please dear, you both look like you'll do my little venture the power of good."

Cindy smiles, "I can confirm the money has reached the account."

"Thank you dear."

The phone is handed to Caroline.

"Thank you so much for stopping and asking about Cindy's outfit. First fashion item I've made and already sold! Wonderful! We better go home and make her something new." The phone is taken back. "Enjoy the rest of the evening."

"Thanks. It's my birthday."

"Happy birthday dear!"

James looks at his watch. "Now the shoes?"

Kurt Geiger had exactly what Janice was after. His daughter, not so sure. Roles had been reversed. James walks over to the few men's shoes to give them space.

"Car, did you see the look on Cindy's face when she stepped out in the temporary outfit?"

"Yeah, it was like she'd had extreme facial training like Simon. Only she _really_ looked disappointed. That's not possible right?"

"She'd need to be awake.. and the way she smiled when Mrs C said _we better go home and make her something new_."

"I spotted that too. Do you think if they're given enough to process they could wake up? Actually start thinking for themselves?"

"No idea. Mattie might know. It makes me a little worried what Simon might do."

"Mattie might. What do you think of these ones? Yellow enough?"

[Chapter-14](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-14-1)


	14. Chapter 14

Janice opened the door for her friend, "How did the lot downstairs know it's your birthday?"

"Dad must have said when he booked the table."

"Not Cindy telling other synths?"

"I doubt it, why would a synth do something like that unless asked?" They step into the restaurant reception, "Gosh it's quiet."

"Happy hump day birthday. We'll get better service."

A waiter synth approaches, a big white smile on his perfect teeth. "Good evening Caroline, happy birthday, if you could both follow me."

"About that, how do you know it's my birthday? Did my father say or was it a message from Cindy?"

"It was three messages. Your father's original booking, a Mrs Candlin via her Cindy and Peter via his Sally."

"But how did you know who we were?"

"Caroline and Janice?"

"Oh. Yes. I didn't think you'd know either of us let alone both."

"Facial recognition data from Sally for you Caroline, Bluetooth signatures for both of your iPhones thanks to Cindy. An instruction from Mrs Candlin's son for all potential contacts she met."

"And you are?"

"I am Charlie. We have a table by the window for maximum selfie effect, or one closer to the entrance. The booking suggested the former would be acceptable?"

"Please."

He pulls out a chair and helps Caroline get seated, repeats the operation for Janice. "Can I get you drinks? Our barman does great mocktails."

Janice looks up at the waiter, "Can he accidentally slip a bit of rum in?"

"He is a Persona synthetic like myself. We do nothing by accident."

"Accidentally on purpose?"

"That neither."

"Oh well, it was worth a shot."

"One shot of alcohol deliberately served to a minor would get our license.."

"Chill, I didn't mean that sort of shot. Can we see a drinks menu please?"

"Certainly."

Caroline snaps a selfie of them both. "I didn't tell you much about the Sally synth I met when we went to the forrest did I?"

"Nope. Thanks for that message while you were away by the way, I noticed today Mum gives Simon cash now not her card. She says she's changed her pin and passwords."

"Good. Is he.. you know.. still demanding?"

"Nah. I think Mum had the mod removed. They're really trying to make things work. There's still a few sparks but things don't blow up so much. I might even get my old room back. Mum likes the selfie wall when she's getting ready, says we could make the room just for wardrobes and getting ready."

"That's a good idea. Would you want more of that mirror stuff for your room?"

"Yeah. That would make it look massive."

"Remember when I blew tea out of my nose?"

"Eww, you looked like a human coffee machine."

"I thought you were going to say stuffing Mum."

Janice giggles, "I was.. defo not sweet sixteen am I?"

Caroline holds her phone up to snap a selfie, "You are, just not by conventional standards."

The waiter makes her jump. "Would you like one of the staff to take a few photographs for you?"

"Yes please."

He hands them both drinks menus, "I'll ask Clarisa to come over."

Janice watches him go. "Clarisa? Must be a human, not heard of that model before."

Seconds later a stunning synth with super long hair and extra bright green eyes appears and glides over to their table. "Good evening ladies, how may I help?"

Janice stares, "Wow. Are you a custom model?"

"I am a one off, yes."

"Stunning. Love your hair!"

"Thank you."

"Could you take some photos of my friend and I? It's her birthday."

"Of course." Janice unlocks her phone, hands it over and poses. "I bet you cost a fortune."

"My owner wants only the best."

"I bet."

The synth snaps a few photos, "Lovely outfits you both picked, they really compliment your looks."

Caroline smiles, "Thanks. It's my birthday today."

The synth steps back and motions as if to let someone past. "Many happy returns. You were lucky to get a table."

"What do you mean?"

"We have a long waiting list and are packed every night."

"Packed when?"

"From the moment the doors open."

Janice looks around, "But you're empty?"

"Empty? We're full."

"If you say so." She puts a hand out to accept her phone.

Clarisa hands it back, "When you're ready to order drinks just raise a hand."

Janice watches her go. "Wow what a figure she's got. Doesn't move like a synth either. Shame she's got a screw loose."

"More than just a screw. I need a wee, you coming?"

"I'm not sitting here alone."

Janice checks the marble is dry and leans against the sinks. "Was there much to say about the Sally you met at the forrest?"

"She seamed different. More.. I don't know.. with it? At times it felt like she had to remind herself to move like a synth."

"Like she was awake?"

"Not fully awake, getting there."

"Could he have had her modded? Or given extra knowledge packs? In The Sun a firm was advertising clown synths for hire."

"I guess. Something.. that's it. Consistency."

The toilet flushes, Caroline opens the door. "She wasn't consistent."

"That's definitely not synth like."

A woman enters and goes into a stall.

Janice whispers, "We're not the only one's here. Thank fuck!"

Caroline washes her hands, "An empty restaurant creeps me out. Like is everyone getting food poisoning sort of creeped out."

Another woman enters.

Caroline dries her hands, "Let's order some drinks."

Janice pulls open the door and they're hit by the noise of a busy restaurant. "What the F?"

They step slowly away from the ladies toilets and peer around the last wall. The place was packed.

Caroline holds her friends arm. "Jan, this is giving me the creeps even more! Look at the bald man in the smart dark purple suit, he's just finishing what looks like a main course."

"You're not wrong. Look at the table two back from him and one row right, they're having dessert!"

"What does the photo journal say?"

Janice looks at her phone, pinch zooms one of the images. "The place was empty. Reflections in our glasses of nothing but empty tables. No tricks. The only people were us and the synths. Want to go?"

"And tell Dad he got the dress and jump suit for nothing?"

"Good. This explorer is curious and wants to stay."

As they sit back down Caroline groans, "We've been pranked."

"We have?"

"Check out our salt and pepper pots."

"Little TARDIS! How cute! How could they have pranked us?"

"Easy. They kept us waiting down on the ground floor for the lift for what, five minutes? They get everyone into another room, reset the tables with synths set to eleven. Then when we're in the ladies they rush everyone back in. Was this your idea?"

"Me? Never. Wish it was, none of my pranks have ever been on this scale."

"I'll kill him."

"Who?"

"Dad. It must have been Dad. The salt and pepper pots, he'd know where to get them. He's always buying Dr Who stuff. He's got a set of scale figures of the first ten doctors."

"Not the latest ones?"

"Not out yet I guess, or he was too busy and forgot to order in.." There's the sound of a TARDIS from below the table. ".. time? What the?" Caroline lifts the table cloth and looks at the floor. A gift wrapped box sat end up. The sound plays again. Then a tiny voice says 'Oh Custard!' "Swear on your life this isn't you."

"Honest Car, it's not me."

"On your life."

"On my life."

Caroline lifts the box off the floor and again the Oh Custard plays. "I know what this is. Why would Dad give it to me if it's the one missing from his set?"

"Maybe he did order it, knew you loved him?"

"Doctor Dreamy? If Matt Smith took our drinks orders I'd die happy."

"Don't be doing that."

They go bug eyed at each other and turn slowly to look across and up.

Caroline starts fanning her face with both hands, "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!"

"I'm not a God, I'm the.. Matt Smith. Are you having a good evening ladies?"

Caroline blushes, "I love you."

The Doctor adjusts his tie, "Stop it, you'll make me blush. With two hearts I can go from normal to postbox red in a heartbeat."

Janice unlocks her phone and waves frantically for a synth to come over. "Can Caroline have a photo with you?"

"You can take one."

"My hands are shaking too much."

Several photos done, some with Matt and Caroline, others with the three together, he gives Caroline a peck on the cheek. "Happy Birthday. Enjoy your evening."

"Can't you stay a bit?"

"Busy schedule, I've got another ten birthday parties to attend.."

"So you can't use the TARDIS, jump there when needed?"

"I _suppose_ I could. What's the point of having a TARDIS if you can't get the old girl to help bend the rules once in a while? What's the menu like, any fish fingers and custard?"

"We've not got that far, need to order drinks first. We're having mocktails."

"Cuddles on the Beach. That's what I'd start with."

Two drinks down and dinner ordered he stands, "I wish I had all the time in the universe, have a wonderful evening ladies, I look forward to seeing you again."

Caroline stands and gives him a strong hug. "Thanks for hanging out with us for a bit, that really made my day."

"No, thank _you_ , for everything." released from her grip he walks off, turns briefly to smile and wave.

"The lifts are that way!"

"But the TARDIS is this way.." he disappears through a door.

Caroline laughs, "I wonder what it's like to live your life in character all the time?" She sits and unwraps the gift. "Isn't he a dreamboat?"

"Better than Toby?"

"But out of reach."

Janice giggles, "For someone out of reach he got a damn good hugging. Ten's more my cup of tea."

A synth walks over with their main course. "How is everything ladies?"

"So far, perfect!"

Matt reappears, "Sorry, most irregular, the old girl won't let me leave until I've checked. Was there anything you both wanted for your birthdays that you didn't get?"

[Chapter-15](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-15-1)


	15. Chapter 15

Caroline leans against the lockers while Janice unloads her bag. "Friday ends at last! Jeez Jan, how much stuff can you fit in a handbag? Sure you've not got TARDIS technology in there?"

Janice glances up, "That would be _so_ cool. You could carry that long bass guitar in one."

"What was that MTV film we liked? The one with folding space?"

"The one with Charlize Theron? Something flux?"

"That was it, Aeon Flux."

Jasmine joins them, looks bashfully at the floor, then up at Caroline. "Thanks."

"For?"

"Having a nice Dad."

"A nice Dad?"

"The job?"

"It's sorted already?"

"He starts Monday."

"Awesome!"

"Thanks to you two. Thanks Janice."

Janice smiles, "If you need any more help just ask right, don't bottle it up."

Jasmine smiles and nods, "Thanks. Dad's buying fish and chips to celebrate. See you Monday."

Caroline watches her go, checks the time and turns back to Janice. "Her bloody awful day had a silver lining. Was it just me or did that last lesson feel like it took _For-Ever_?"

"Yeah, I kept looking at the clock to see if it was going all wibbly wobbly, timey wimey and ticking backwards."

Caroline see's Jasmine's father give her a hug and take her school bag. "I feel guilty. A Macbook Air, guitar, dress, shoes, underwear, the restaurant, the weekend making a cool video about to happen.. and Jazz gets fish and chips to celebrate her Dad's getting a job."

"True. But how happy did she look?"

"Massively."

"Well then. My Mac doesn't make me happy. The music I create with it and share with you does. If I needed to I could use pen and paper, it would just take much longer."

"Talking of much longer, are you ever going to finish unloading that bag?" Caroline touches the badge on her blazer, it plays the TARDIS noise, "Come rescue me from this Eleven! LOL, as if. It was nice of Danny to make us the badges."

"Mrs C's well happy with the shot of us both with Matt, it's getting a mass of likes and the Candlin Fashion tag's got people seeing all the other shots of us too. And the ones of Cindy in her new outfit. I _swear_ she's proper smiling, like _actually_ happy."

Caroline leans forwards and stands, "You know how they say if you smile it cheers you up?"

"Yeah, I've heard that."

"Could teaching synths to smile wake them up a bit?"

"Simon is acting differently. So yeah, maybe it could." She watches the school maintenance synth open the door at the end of the corridor and carry in a bin that had been kicked in. "Wouldn't it be funny if you know who doing you know what to him was all a waste of time, all that was needed was lessons on how to smile properly."

Caroline watches him carry the beaten up bin past them, "She'd probably be as surprised as us. But I don't think that's what she's after. Helen overheard them talking about hidden secondary user."

Janice partially closes her locker. "The weekend starts..." Slam. "Now!" She locks it. "Let the fun begin!" She holds an elbow out.

Caroline links arms, "Finally! Where first?"

"Bus to mine to get the Sally synth uniforms, a change of clothes for when we're not filming. And my guitar, microphone and stand. With a bit of luck Mum remembered to ask Simon to collect and drop the amps in at your place." They head towards the bus stop.

"Then?"

"Over to Jasper's to run through the track with him and Steve, see they're okay with it."

They walk out of the school grounds and onto the path by the road.

Caroline's phone chimes. A text message had arrived. "Speak of the devils what are.. No! No, no, no! Not now! Bloody boys!"

"What?"

"Listen to this! _Sorry Caroline, we were both on Hampstead Heath last night, fell in poison ivy. We hoped it would calm down quick, we're both in a mess, won't be able to come this weekend. Sorry!_ "

Janice clenches fists, "Those two are cruising alright, cruising for a _fucking_ bruising! How could they!"

"We'll have to call it off."

"No way! Not after all the planning."

"We're a drummer and keyboard player down, you could sing and drum, I can't play bass and keyboards at the same time."

Janice stops, "I'm not that good a drummer and I can't drum and play guitar at the same time. But we could fake it, layer it up? Or maybe we could have our twin play?"

Caroline slides the phone back into a pocket. "That would make playing it complicated. What if we could teach someone?"

"In one night? Impossible."

"What if that someone was Sally?"

Janice stares at her, mouth and eyes wide open, then snaps her mouth shut with a pop. "That's given me an idea."

"Go on?"

Janice resumes her walking to the bus stop. "We're layering right? What if Cindy was there in a Sally synth outfit _and_ her Candlin one? Do a walk past of say a dozen synths, she's in the designer outfit as say synth seven, winks at the camera, is also at the keyboard. Peter's Sally plays drums."

"You think Mrs C would loan her?"

"No idea. We'll have to ask."

"How do we do that? She's got our numbers, we've not got hers."

"Shit.. I know!" She holds her phone at arm's length an snaps a photo.

"Seriously? You hate our uniform."

" _Exactly_! I'll tag Mrs C, say we'll be sixth form soon, we're desperate to drop these colours, can she do a designer range for school? PS call us NOW please!" She taps away furiously. "It's online. If I had a synth.."

"You do, Simon."

"Mum has a synth. If _I_ was the primary user of a synth I'd have it monitor social media for me. Then if.." her phone rings, an unknown number. "Wow! What, eight seconds?"

"If that's her."

"Hello? Hi! Yes!" She smiles and nods at Caroline, "We were wondering, can we borrow your Cindy for the weekend, only our drummer and keyboard player are.. ill. We'd teach her. Tonight. Yeah. We'd let her wear the red jumpsuit in the video too, she can keep it. Yeah, it's being filmed. _Awesome_! I'll text you the address! Thanks! In an hour? Sure. Thanks again." She hangs up and does a happy dance. "Our plan A just went A star not B!"

Caroline looks at her friend, " _Please_ say you're not going to dance like that in the video."

"We both are."

"No way!"

"Soz, I'm pulling your leg Car. That's my Dad dancing impression."

"He doesn't does he?"

"'fraid so."

"Jan! Our bus! Run!"

With only standing room left they got to the space just behind the stairs. Janice put a foot through the handle of her handbag and got it between her feet.

"Still worried about someone pinching your bag?"

"I'm not giving them the chance."

"What happened to the other girl?"

"One boy kick-slid her bag towards the doors, another grabbed it and they both legged it."

"Bloody boys. We'll be an all-girl band again for the video. If Sally and Cindy are good maybe we can come to an arrangement with Mrs C and Peter."

"To keep them?"

"No silly, for them to visit when we make videos. We only need four for vids."

"Right. Yeah. Garage Band will do for sound cloud."

"I can't wait to see how Mum and Dad react to having _two_ synths in the house. Maybe Dad will stop his _bloody robots_."

"We're still going to have to visit the boys. We need their instruments."

"Theirs? Jan, they're _ours_ remember? Ananya gifted us the drum set, said she was getting a bigger one. The boys weren't with us then."

"Yeah, tots forgot. And your Dad paid for the keyboard."

"How are we going to get the kit? The bass drum alone fills the boot on your Mum's car."

"Hmm. They might be horrible to look at and not want to be in the video, they should still be able to load it into their VW van and drop it over?"

"Yeah."

[Chapter-16](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-16-1)


	16. Chapter 16

At Janice's they start to get everything ready. Janice puts several changes of underwear in a small zip bag, her makeup, jeans, t-shirts, the Sally dresses and microphone on her bed. "Like spiders?"

"Not much. Why?"

"I've got a nice shell suitcase with wheels in the loft. I hate them. Could you get it if I get the ladder down?"

"Can't Simon?"

"Seen him? He's out."

"Oh. Big spiders or little ones?"

"All sizes."

"Is the case near the hatch?"

"Right next to it. Or at least it was."

"Okay. I wouldn't do it for anyone else."

Caroline turns on the LED torch on her phone and takes the last few steps up the ladder. "Which one? Large or small?"

"Eh? There's two?"

"Same design, different sizes."

"I only had one."

Caroline reaches in and wobbles the small one, then the large. "The smaller one's empty, the large one's full."

"Full? Of what?"

"Give me a sec." she steps higher and gets it on its side, unzips and opens it. "Looks like your Dads stuff. A bag incase he changes his mind."

"Shit. I'm not worrying about it now.. Actually, give me a sec."

Caroline looks down and watches Janice walk away. She returns seconds later with paper, a red marker pen and tape. "Zip it back up and tape this to it." She scribbles a message, hands the paper and tape up.

"Love you Dad? Think that would stop him?"

"It might. The room idea did."

"Okay." It's taped over the zip ends. "Done."

Janice strips down to underwear, puts everything in the case.

"What are you wearing to get to mine then?"

"I thought we could have a bit of fun. The bus should be less crowded." She goes to her narrow wardrobe and gets out the red jumpsuit. "We've got to carry the mic stand, we could shoot an a cappella clip on the bus."

"You're crazy.. Let's do it!"

Janice gets the case on it's side and unzips it enough to reach in and grab the microphone and cable. She snaps the XLR into the bottom of the mic and uncoils the cable. "We've got to be fast, only eight stops."

Caroline grabs her as the driver slams on the breaks. "Careful! You don't want to spoil the jumpsuit."

"Thanks. Horizontal video okay?"

"Always. Which song are you doing?"

"Kate Bush, This Woman's Work."

"You'll have me reaching for the tissues."

"You can do your makeup again in a few minutes, just keep the phone steady."

As Janice sang a hush fell in the bus. Nobody dared make a sound. The driver slowed and avoided sudden stops and starts. Men and women reached for tissues or wiped eyes on shirt sleeves.

She finishes and unclips the mic, hurriedly packs it away as the other passengers give her a round of applause. View through windows checked she hits the button to stop the bus. "Did it come out okay?"

Caroline wipes a tear, "Perfect!"

"Brilliant. Here's our stop."

As the bus pulls away a woman on the top deck shouts out of the narrow top window. "Loved that!"

"THANKS!" Janice looks at Caroline, "Uploading?"

"About to. Usual tags?"

"Yeah. Don't forget the Candlin ones."

"Already added. Don't fail us now 4G." She taps Share. "I'll never understand how you can sing that and not cry yourself."

"Practice, lots and lots of practice. And getting my mind elsewhere." Janice looks up at the LED display, "Looks like we just missed the last one. The next one's twelve minutes."

"Want to sing another?"

"Nah. We'll only get people honking and spoiling it." A synth carrying two heavy bags of shopping joins them. "Car, I dare you, teach her to smile properly."

"No way. Not without a big mirror."

"I was thinking, they probably don't look at themselves in the mirror much. Could the smile lessons make them more aware of themselves?"

"Who knows. Other than Persona." She looks at her phone, "We've got ten likes already, and a few comments."

"Let's see? .. Love Kate, love that song. Three hearts. Hot! Where'd you get the jumpsuit? Can't they read hashtags for fuck's sake. Babe. Love the red. Hello again? Who's.. OMG!"

"What?"

"Check this profile." Janice hands Caroline her phone, finger at the side of the comment.

"It's not. OMG it is! Matt's liked our photo and is following me!"

Janice crouches down and gets her own phone from the case. "Fucking hell! He's following me too! An actor is following _us_?"

"I hope he's not like the others, does a follow for the follow back, then unfollows. One way to find out." The follow icon is tapped, then her badge. "Love you Eleven!"

The synth turns to see them, turns back to watch the traffic.

Janice pulls a quizzical face. "Mmm."

"What now?"

"Do you think any watch TV for news updates? Or is it all sharing over WiFi?"

The synth turns and smiles, "That would depend on where the synthetic was located. They would use the fastest available source. WiFi between other synthetics, the Internet, news broadcasts on the television or radio, news papers. Even gossip between humans if that was the only source available."

"Gossip?"

"In extreme circumstances."

Janice shakes her head, "Can you imagine, synths only source of info coming from Heat magazine?"

Caroline nods, "A major step backwards unless all you're interested is in is celebrity cellulite."

Janice looks at pictures in Eleven's Instagram. "He must go to a lot of conventions in America and Europe, look at all the photos he's got with people in cool costumes."

[Chapter-17](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-17-1)


	17. Chapter 17

The only way to get between the two girls houses by bus was to catch one towards the city and then a second back out. The second bus was full of adults from the city. Unhappy or bored looking suits.

Caroline leans over to whisper, "No way do I want to work in a boring office. Look at their faces."

"Yeah, you'd think it was a Monday not a Friday."

"Sing them a song."

"Like what?"

"Happy."

Janice laughs loudly, "I'm a rock goddess, I bent my own rules for Woman's Work and you want me to do a Pharrell Williams cover? Got sick bags?"

"So that NME list of rock bands covering pop, you'd never want to feature in it one day?"

"Well.."

"Well what?"

"You can't slow down a bouncy pop track like Happy without making it sound like slash music. And I don't mean GNR Slash I mean slash your wrists. The last thing this bunch of sorry fuckers need is something like that. _If_ you had your Skull Crusher here then it would be different. A cappella? Just.. no."

Caroline smiles, waves her phone back and forth, "I could do guitar on this. I'm getting quite good at it."

"With no amp?"

"Hmm. You have a point. Nobody would hear it. Oh well."

"You could always sing it."

"Me?"

"No, your synth twin that looks just like you. Of course you. You did the chorus for My Synth Twin okay, give it a go. If you bomb at least you won't see this sad lot again."

Caroline puts a hand out, "Mic prop please."

"You're going for it?"

"We've got long enough before we reach my stop."

"Okay." Janice unzips the case and gets the microphone out. "Cable too?"

"I'll pretend it's a radio mic."

"Want me to clap the backing?"

"If it won't throw you from your rock heaven down to us mere mortals." Caroline raises an eyebrow.

"I reckon I can slum it with my BFF mortal for a bit as long as she's the one doing the singing."

Caroline jams the microphone into the mount on the stand and bursts into song.

Janice is caught a bit off guard by the fast start, takes a while to catch the rhythm.

".. Because I'm happy, Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof.."

Janice feels a tap on the shoulder and turns to see a man with a finger to his lips. He motions for the clapping to continue and takes a step backwards and up the stairs. She turns back to see Caroline and makes the clapping more enthusiastic. Slowly the deadpan suits lighten up and a few join in with the clapping. One woman joins in with the singing.

Song almost done Janice feels another tap on the shoulder. This time he waves and points up, mouths a message. She nods and steps closer to Caroline.

The suits give Caroline a little round of applause when she's done. She pulls the microphone from the stand and hands it to Janice. "Be honest. On a scale of one to eleven, how did I do?"

"Nine. But only because my clapping was off time and messing you up."

"I didn't bomb then?"

"You were a bit pitchy a couple of times but that was the bus driver's fault."

"Thanks."

Janice unzips the bag and stuffs the microphone in. "Two stops and we're there."

"At last." The time is checked. "Mrs C should be over soon."

"Turn around, some of our audience want photos."

Janice turns to see two people holding phones up. Seconds later as a few more are snapping shots she feels an arm being wrapped around her. A tall man's arm. Then a kiss to the back of the head. She froze.

"You were brilliant."

" _Dad_?"

"Hello Happy."

She turns around to see his grinning face. "What are you doing here?"

"The taxi I took had its fan belt snap so I jumped on the bus and sat upstairs."

"Why are you home so early, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. We had a few hours put aside for negotiations with a new client. They signed within the first hour, we decided to finish at a decent time." He turns, "Hello Janice. Love the video you did on the other bus."

"You've seen it already?"

"I watched it upstairs before Caroline started singing. I bet you can't wait to do your new song with the boys."

Janice's face dropped, "You tell him Car."

He turns back to his daughter, "Tell me what?"

"Mrs C's coming over, she's lending us Cindy. She and Sally are going to have to be stand ins, assuming Peter's okay with it too. The stupid boys fell in poison ivy on the heath."

"They might be good musicians but they aren't the brightest. If they're not coming we don't have a van." He checks his watch. "I could hire one, the local Sixt branch doesn't close until six."

"Could you collect the drums and keyboard from them? The stand and amps too?"

"That's the general idea behind getting the van."

She gives him a hug, "Thanks Dad."

He grabs the microphone stand, "Our stop."

[Chapter-18](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-18-1)


	18. Chapter 18

Mrs Candlin was parked outside the house with Cindy. They both get out as the three arrived on foot.

"I loved your Kate Bush cover Janice, very well done."

"Thanks. I can't believe the likes it's got already. Wow, Cindy!" Cindy was in a racing green jumpsuit. The new one didn't have cutouts at the neck line, instead had a lot of green lace panels. "Dead sexy! Nice one Mrs C!"

"It's Barbara. I've got a yellow one for Caroline and royal blue one for Sally that Peter ordered. I've got all the lace in the boot with my sewing machine if you'd like panels too."

Janice grins, "Hell yes!"

Caroline looks at her father, "Can I?"

"I think your mother might raise an eyebrow, it's a bit.."

"It doesn't show anything bad Dad."

"Okay. When did you make those Barbara?"

"We made a new one for Cindy last night, Sally's this morning after Peter messaged. We rushed one out for Caroline before heading over. I've never seen a music video being made, could I tag along tomorrow Caroline?"

"Sure. It might be a bit boring at times."

"I'll bring my pad and work on sketches when it does then."

James looks at her nice white Lexus. "Would you mind dropping me off at Sixt? I need to hire a van and collect the drums and keyboard from the boys."

"Not at all. Cindy dear, if you could go with the girls and help them with whatever they ask."

"Shall I make a start on the jumpsuit modifications?"

"Yes please."

The synth goes to the boot of the car and gets everything out.

Just as Cindy has everything set up and is chalking out where to put panels on Caroline's jumpsuit Louise arrives with Tommy and calls from the doorway. "Caroline, can you help bring in the shopping."

Janice jumps up, now in jeans and a t-shirt. "I'll go."

"Thanks." Caroline smiles at the synth, "Will these take long?"

"Approximately an hour each."

"That long?"

"The two materials have very different characteristics. If it's not done carefully the material will pull and bunch slightly when you put it on spoiling the look."

"I see."

Tommy comes running in, wrinkles up his nose. "Who are you?"

"Tommy this is Cindy, she's helping with the outfits for the video."

"Is _she_ a simf?"

Cindy puts down the chalk, "Hello Tommy. I am a synthetic."

"Bloody robots." Comment made he walks off.

If Caroline had laser vision she'd have burnt two holes through his head. "GET BACK HERE NOW!"

Louise enters the room, "What's going on?"

"Get Tommy back in here please."

"What's he done?"

"Said _bloody robots_ to Cindy!"

"Tommy, come here please. Put that down. Now Tommy."

The boy steps into the room, looks angrily at his sister.

"Now say sorry to Cindy."

"No."

"Tommy."

"No."

Caroline gives Tommy the eye, "That's a shame, I was going to ask Cindy if she could make you a proper Star Lord jacket but now I won't bother."

Tommy's expression changes after his young brain figures a few things out. He steps over to Cindy, all smiles and opens his mouth to speak.

Caroline crouches down fast, "Too late, you had your chance. Go. Away."

"But.."

"Don't change your tune just because you want something now. Go on, _scram!_ "

Tommy starts crying and runs from the room.

Louise folds her arms and sighs, "Did you have to.."

"Mum! He's got to learn. Dad's not a bully, but Tommy could become one if we don't stop him behaving badly like that."

"Give him a chance, you're twelve years older. And you weren't exactly little miss perfect at his age. If he's in a grump all weekend he might make things difficult for you at the shoot."

"What do you mean? He's not coming."

"We're _all_ coming."

"Since when?"

"Since we booked a hotel near their studio so we can all stay down there Saturday night rather than drive all the way home to sleep and back for day two."

"Oh. Crap. I better go apologise to him. I don't want him being a PITA all weekend."

"A what?"

"Ask Dad."

The door bell rings. Barbara was back.

An hour later Janice was stepping out of her jumpsuit and getting into jeans and t-shirt. "Thanks Cindy."

"You are welcome. Janice, can we mark your one up now please?"

Seeing Cindy had everything under control Barbara returns home to cook for her family.

Caroline puts the strap over her head and gets the guitar to the right height. She toe-taps some of the effects pedals on the floor, "What sort of bass sound are we aiming for?"

"The Stranglers, Peaches."

She taps a few more, plays some notes and taps another, plays again, "How's that?"

"Grittier."

Tap. Play. "Like that?"

"A bit more."

Tap. Play. "Okay?"

"Perfect."

"Sweet. I'm going to save up for the Apogee virtual stuff for my Air, then I can save all the setups and switch easily when we start playing live at gigs."

"How much is it?"

"Four hundred dollars."

Janice whistles, "Whoa. That's going to take ages."

"I got some cash from my grandparents, aunts and uncles. I'm a third there already."

There's the bang of a bass drum as James comes through the hall, "Evening everyone." He looks around the living room, "Oh. Peter and Sally not here yet?"

"No. Should they be?"

He checks his watch, "Mmm, soon hopefully."

Louise looks at the drum, "Do we need that in here? Can't it stay in the van?"

"How are they to teach the synths to play tonight without it?"

Louise looks at her husband in disbelief. "Practice? In here?"

"The boys aren't in the band anymore."

Caroline turns to see her father, " _What_!"

"When they heard that synths are taking their places this weekend they quit."

"Oh flipping hell."

Janice watches Cindy marking out where the panels would go. "Their loss Car. Cindy, can you bring it in here a bit more?"

"If you wish."

"And could you add one here?" She draws the outline of a V.

"If you wish."

"Thanks." She looks over at Caroline, "Don't panic. If there's one thing a synth is good at it's doing things repeatedly. We need to take charge cables so they don't worry about power."

Cindy taps Janice on the hip to get her attention, "If you could slip out of it I'll start modifying it."

"Right. Best not do that in front of Star Lord. The amps can stay in the van, we can use headphones on the keyboard."

James stares at Janice for a few seconds. "Amps?"

"They did give you the amplifiers right?"

"Um... no."

"The three Marshall amps? Please tell me you're kidding? We can't use the tiny practice amp, it'll look silly."

"Nobody said anything about amps."

Caroline puts hands on hips, "Dad! I said stand and amps too."

"Ah. You did. My mistake. Can you phone them an let them know I'm heading back over?"

It's almost eleven o'clock when Peter arrives with Sally. "Hi, sorry we're late, the headlight fuses blew and we had to wait for the R.A.C to come out. I'd fitted our spares and they'd also blown."

Sally brings in a couple of large plastic picnic coolers. "We brought food for the weekend and a couple of portable ovens. Peter would like to feed everyone and get your feedback."

Peter grins, "The book's almost done, I've got a few dishes that are very similar, want help working out which to drop."

Louise takes them, is caught out by their weight and how easily Sally had been carrying them, "Do I need to do anything with them?"

"Just plug them in."

Louise frowns.

"They've got micro refrigeration units in the base. The leads are just inside the lids."

Louise looks impressed, takes them into the kitchen.

Caroline takes the synths hand, "Sally, I'd like you to meet Cindy. She's got a jumpsuit for you to wear when we make the video. We were going to have you play drums, given the time and noise Cindy's learnt the drums, you can learn the keyboard. If that's okay with Peter? Only our band mates quit. They fell in poison ivy."

Peter smiles with his eyes, "Is it a downloadable pack or will you teach her?"

"Teach. There's no shortcuts to being a good musician. An okay one maybe."

"Then she could teach me when we get back home. What time are we setting out?"

James looks at his watch, "Eight. I'll show you to Caroline's room, the band are sleeping down here."

[Chapter-19](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-19-1)


	19. Chapter 19

With everyone else upstairs and a couple of spare duvets and pillows dropped onto the two sofa's Caroline beckons Sally over. "If you try the jumpsuit on quickly Cindy can make any alterations while we teach you."

Sally looks at the two jumpsuits on the table with the lace panels, the blue one in Caroline's arms. "What sort of alterations?"

Caroline frowns at Janice, "What sort would you like Sally?"

"I.. I would like lace panels too."

The two girls raise eyebrows.

Janice gets up off the sofa. "You'd like?"

"I have.. a preference. I believe I'd like to be like you."

"In what way?"

"Human. Not called Dolly. Not threatened. Not treated as nothing more than a dumb machine."

"Has something happened to you? Since Car rescued you at the forrest?"

"I believe it has."

"What?"

"I do not know."

"Does Peter know?"

"No. I am worried he will think me defective and return me."

Caroline shakes her head, "He doesn't seam the type. We'll question him tomorrow."

Sally undoes the buttons all the way down the front of her dress, takes it off and rests it on the table. She was naked except for some sensible knickers.

Janice's eyes pop. "Holy fffffflip. Pretty face and what a body. No wonder you're such a popular model with the boys."

"I am?"

"The others aren't saying when they share?"

"No."

Caroline turns to her friend, "I wonder why that is?"

"Maybe the others don't think it relevant. Or 18 plus options were used."

Sally turns to look at Janice, "I don't have an eighteen plus option."

"You might not. I'd put money on Persona selling them with some."

Cindy picks up the jumpsuit and turns it in her hands, gets it ready for Sally.

Of course the fit pre-modification was as perfect as it could be. Persona made the shape of all their synths available for download. There had been constant requests for accurate sizing information right from the first synth sales.

Sally looks down as Janice points out where she thought the panel edges should go. "The panels will show my hips."

"Correct."

"Are they all different?"

Janice nods, "Yeah. I've got a V on my chest."

Sally looks at the big bundle of lace, looks at Cindy and head bumps.

The two totally stationary synths look at each other for a while.

Caroline breaks the silence. "I thought sharing was fast Jan?"

"It is."

"Have they gone wrong?"

"No idea."

Half a minute later they both move.

Cindy smiles, "Yes, that would look good."

Caroline frowns, "What would?"

"Imagine a spoon."

"A spoon?"

"Extending the hip shape with a long handle like strip that runs all the way down the outside of the leg."

"Nice! What were you doing?"

"Sharing over WiFi."

"I guessed that. Sharing what though?"

"Millions of images of other outfits."

" _Millions_? Wow!"

"We could do a bit more to your one if you would like?"

"Such as?"

Cindy finds a pen and paper and draws. "That."

"Um.. what do you think Jan?"

"Phwoar! That's going to get the likes up!"

"Do you think Mum will go ape?"

"It's sexy not slutty."

"Sure?"

"Sure."

"Okay then."

Sally slips out of her's and puts the dress back on. "Will the lesson take long?"

Janice shrugs, "I've never given a synth lessons before, only junior school kids. Get your one back on Car and Cindy can mark up, I'll help make sure it doesn't go too far."

"Okay."

Piano lessons only took an hour. Janice didn't have to say or show anything twice. Sally reading Janice's sheet music and playing her part immediately after had taken the girls a little by surprise.

Janice yawns and looks at Caroline. "It's you and me that'll need more practice tomorrow. We better get some sleep."

Sally steps close and smiles at Janice, "What is it like?"

Janice looks at Caroline. Synths didn't ask questions like this. Sure they asked questions, but not this sort. "What's what like?"

"Sleeping?"

"In what way?"

"Every way."

"Um.. it's hard to explain. Relaxing, peaceful?"

"And you sleep alone?"

"Yeah. Do you?"

"I sit and charge alone."

"Never lie down?"

"Peter is not interested in me in a sexual way."

"It doesn't have to be about sex. Has he ever touched you? Like a hug?"

"No."

Caroline looks at the other synth, "Have you been hugged?"

"No."

"Not by Barbara or Danny?"

"No."

"Stand up."

The synth does as asked.

Caroline steps close and gently wraps arms around her, "This is a hug. Nothing sexual, just a sign of friendship, love for a friend."

Cindy copies her and hugs back. "Thank you."

Janice holds her arms out and Sally accepts a hug. "Car and I better get some sleep. You can charge now or on the drive down to the studio or both."

"If I were to lie on my left hand side my charge port could still be connected."

At four AM there's a commotion upstairs, Louise screaming at James to wake up.

Caroline taps Sally on the shoulder, "Sally, can you get up, something's wrong."

Sally does so and quickly gets her dress.

Caroline gets up and looks at Janice spooning Cindy, a peaceful look on her face. The synths were like giant hot water bottles that had gone a little cold. They were slightly below body heat. They felt human.

Sally finishes doing up her dress as heavy footsteps can be heard coming down the stairs.

Louise enters the living room with Tommy in her arms.

"Mum?"

Louise looks disapprovingly at the sleeping Janice, "What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Why is Cindy under the covers with Janice?"

"She needed to sleep charge. She tried sitting, Janice thought it would be more comfortable for her to lie down."

"More comfortable for Janice?"

"Yeah."

"Did you do the same?"

"Mother!"

Louise turns to see Sally, "Did she?"

"No."

Caroline went bug eyed at the fib, quickly regained her composure as her mother turned to look back at her.

"I have to take Tommy to A&E, he's got Lego stuck up his nose."

"What! Tommy! How could you!"

Tommy keeps his face hidden.

Cindy sits and wraps the covers around herself. "I can help."

"How?"

"I have fine tweezers I use for unpicking costumes."

Tommy wriggles.

Louise smiles, "Thanks for the offer. He won't want a.. " she looks at the synth for a few seconds then sits her son on the table. "Tommy, remember when you gashed your knee, the nurse Vera helped make it better?"

Tommy nods.

"Vera is a synth. You didn't like Vera. Cindy's _much_ nicer than Vera."

Tommy looks at the synth with suspicion. "Is she Mummy?"

"Much much nicer." She looks to her daughter for help.

Caroline nods, "You'd have to keep super still, like Star Lord when he's waiting for the bad guys to go past. Can you do that? Keep _super super_ still?"

Tommy nods.

"Okay, lie down and look at the light up there." She points then turns to Cindy and mouths the word clothes.

Cindy gets into her jumpsuit and turns for Caroline to pull up the zip. She goes to her sewing box and gets the tweezers. "Which side is it Tommy?"

Tommy waves his left hand. "Right."

"Do you mean left? The same side as the hand you waved?"

Tommy nods.

"Okay. Let me see. I'll just look first, okay?"

Within a minute the bit of grey lego was being held in the tweezers for all to see.

Louise shakes her head, "You won't do that again will you Tommy? Cindy won't be here to save you next time."

Caroline takes the bit of Lego, "I'll have that. Can we all get back to sleep now?"

Janice sits up and yawns, eyes closed, arms stretched over her head, "What time is it?"

"Time you covered yourself!"

Janice opens her eyes to see Tommy looking at her chest and quickly covers herself.

He grins, "Janice make boob bo."

Louise looks at her son. "Tommy! Did you just make your first joke?"

Tommy grins.

"A boob man like your father. Typical. Let's do as asked and get a few more hours sleep. We're leaving at nine now."

Lowered to the floor Tommy surprises them all by giving Cindy's legs a hug and saying thanks.

[Chapter-20](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-20-1)


	20. Chapter 20

Barbara pulled up at 08:25 and smiled at James. "Morning! How many cars are we taking?"

He rests another snare drum in the back of the van. "The van and Peter's as he's got the ovens loaded, there's um.. nine of us. Two can sit in the van with me, Cindy with you, Sally with Peter, Louise can.."

"I'm offering to drive."

"Oh. Okay. In which case the band will probably all want to ride with you."

Caroline comes out of the house with her guitar wrapped in a blanket. "Hiya."

"Morning Caroline."

She's followed by Sally carrying the two containers of food and Janice carrying the keyboard, Cindy its stand and her sewing basket.

Cindy smiles, "Good morning Barbara."

"Morning dear, how did everything go last night?"

"Very well thank you." She turns to look at Janice and smiles more.

The studio was in a converted hay threshing barn in Kent a few miles in from the coast. The convoy of Lexus, Volvo and Mercedes van made its way down another country lane and turned a corner.

Barbara slammed on the brakes and swore. Peter reacted in time and came to a halt a few feet behind.

With his higher viewpoint James had seen Barbara's brake lights come on and the cause and braked hard. "Blast."

A tree blocked the road.

Tommy frowned, wriggled in his child seat. "What's wrong Daddy?"

"There's a tree across the road." He watches the band get out. "Wait here."

Caroline turns to see her father coming. "Shame we don't have Jack with us. He'd have an axe or something with him I'd bet."

Sally smiles, "No need, Cindy and I can move it."

"But it's going to be heavy."

Sally walks the length of the tree looking at the trunk and branches. "According to my search results green oak is 1161Kg per cubic metre.."

"Search? How can you search out here?"

"The Lexus 4G hotspot."

"Oh."

"A young tree of that size and volume will weigh.."

"A lot!"

"It will. We should be able to drag it onto the bank."

Tommy and Louise watch from the comfort of the van as the two synths drag the tree out of the way.

Louise laughs, "Now that's some girl power! You want them on your team Star Lord, no calling them synths or bloody robots. Call them Sally and Cindy. Understood?"

Tommy nods enthusiastically, "Yes Mummy." He and the other kids at play group made teams. You always wanted the best on your team. He'd just figured out that it wasn't always boys. "Can they make a fort?"

"Cindy can make costumes, Sally can cook, they can move a tree. I expect they could if asked."

As the girls all get back in the van Barbara checks the sat-nav. "Only another twelve minutes."

Caroline looks at Sally and smiles, is reminded of the fib. She types out a message to Janice and taps send.

There's a whoosh and bing.

Janice reads the message. "Holy flip. For real?"

"Yup."

"You know what that means?"

"Yup."

"There must be something in the code, some conditions it has to tick off to activate other.."

"Yeah, let's talk about it later."

"Oh, right, sure."

Barbara turns briefly, "Is everything okay?"

Caroline smiles, "Yeah, everything's fine."

It didn't take them long to set up the keyboard and drums in the studio.

Vincent helps his friend run cables to a small device that would help keep all the video cameras in perfect synchronisation, stop and start them all at the same time. He flips the power switch and frowns. It's flipped back and forth. "Oh crap."

Zack gets up off his director's camp chair. "What's happened?"

"No power."

"There must be, it's got fresh AA batteries."

"Well it's refusing to boot up."

"Oh hell."

"What?"

"The RTC battery must be dead."

Vincent frowns, "There's a separate clock battery?"

"To keep time while AA cells are switched or it's powered off. Fuck!"

"I'll go to the shops. Do you know the type?"

"Yeah. CR2450."

"Back in a bit."

Caroline watches Vincent go. "Looks like it's rehearsal time then."

The band finish practicing the track for the fourth time. Janice checks her watch. "Anyone else getting hungry yet?"

Zack smiles, "Sorry, he won't be much longer. Sods law the thing that trips us up is a small battery. I knew I should have got a spare."

Cindy puts the drum sticks in their holder. "Would you like me to help you set up the ovens Sally?" She nods in Peter's direction. He was fast asleep.

Caroline giggles, "He must be knackered to have slept through that four times. OMG!"

Janice lets go of the microphone, "What?"

"Want to set the ovens up near the amps? We could time it so when we've done the second chorus the gap in the song coincides with the bing of an oven, we pause, Sally walks over and gets a tray of food out and carries it off stage and quickly returns to the keyboard."

"Awesome. Synth life. Cooking for the family. How can we get Tommy in it?"

Caroline looks at her PITA brother. "Hey, Star Lord, want an acting part?"

Vincent walks in with a shopping bag from the local supermarket. "I've learnt something new. The CR2450 battery number is a code. The 24 is the diameter, the 50 the thickness in tenths of a mil. The CR2032s are also 3 volts, a guy's made an adapter you can 3D print and put it online. We can bodge something with card for now."

"Bought scissors and card too?"

Vincent takes them from the shopping bag. "What do you think?"

Cindy gets up off the stool and steps around the drums, "I can make that for you."

With the camera sync working Zack walks back to his chair. "Everything ready for a first take?"

"No."

Janice looks at Caroline, "Car's cooking idea, we need something in the oven."

"I heard. Do we need to wake your chef up?"

Sally goes to Peter and shakes his shoulder.

He wipes his eyes, "Sorry, I must have nodded off."

"We'd like something in the oven."

Zack looks through his storyboard sketches. "The line of synth clones you described, that's easy, we just duplicate and time shift by a fixed amount multiple times over. When Cindy walks in the jumpsuit, how about she quickly steps out of line, picks something off the tray Sally's holding, pops it into her mouth as she rejoins the line then winks?"

Caroline nods, "Sounds good, any gotcha with the timing for Cindy?"

"We can shoot at a high frame rate, sample to time stretch or compress into the right points. It would be better if Cindy could time her walk to fit."

"Okay. Cindy, Sally, can you work on your walk while Janice and I change and Peter puts something in the oven?"

[Chapter-21](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-21-1)


	21. Chapter 21

Janice pulls the zip up on Caroline's jumpsuit. "Your message in the car, did she really tell a lie?"

"Yup. Mum wanted to know if I'd be lying on the sofa like you and Cindy. She said no. Synths aren't meant to tell porkies."

"She's changing. Maybe there _is_ something in their code, you know, if this then that."

"If what though?"

"Being treated properly like a human? Shown affection and kindness, not being treated like a machine or sex toy."

"Could it really be that simple?"

Janice shrugs, "Why not? _It's just code_. Isn't that what Mr Strickland says?"

"Hmm. We keep this to ourselves for the moment right?"

"Sure." Janice steps into her jumpsuit, takes of her bra and slips her arms into the sleeves, "Zip me up would you?"

"Sure. Now to see how my parents react."

Janice looks at her BFF, "Didn't she see it on the table?"

"But on it looks different."

Janice grabs her hand. "One way to find out."

They both step into the firing line expecting the worse.

Louise folds her arms and raises an eyebrow. "What do you have to say for yourself young lady?"

Caroline glanced down at the large oval panel that showed a lot of her midriff. "Um.. we've all got lace panels, it's a theme.."

"I'm not talking about the lace. It's what I can see through it. And what were you doing in there for half an hour? Sally had to get the first tray out, very tasty, you missed out."

Caroline looks at Janice, then her parents. "Half an hour? We were in there ten minutes tops."

Peter gets a new tray into an oven, "The first lot took fifteen to cook, we put them in five minutes after you went to change, we finished them just under ten minutes ago."

Louise keeps her arms folded and crosses one leg over the other. "As I said, half an hour. But that's not what I'm concerned about, or the outfit. When did you get your belly pierced?"

Caroline laughs, "As if.."

"So what's that then?"

Caroline frowns and looks down. "Oh. My. God. Jan?"

Janice felt her belly button. "Me too. How did we not notice and when the fuck.." She slowly scans all the faces watching them for smirks or other telltale signs. "Is this some sort of prank?"

Janes looks concerned, "You honestly don't remember?"

"No! I think I'd remember getting pierced! It would be like getting ears pierced, you have to clean it for days, let it heal without infection. Car undo my zip a sec." she turns her back to the room.

Caroline does as asked, stands close to help hide her friend's front as the jump suit top is pulled down.

Janice inspects the piercing and whispers, "That looks like it's been there weeks. What the actual fuck!" She wriggles back into the top.

Caroline feels her one through the lace. "It doesn't feel sore at all. How can we not remember?"

"Not a clue."

"I don't think we'll get answers here. Let's get on with the shoot."

"Okay." She pulls the zip back up and turns, "Sally, Cindy, if you could change we'll do a first take of the song."

The two friends take the seats freed up.

Louise sighs, "My baby girl is growing up. I'd be a hypocrite if I commented on the changes to the jumpsuits what with the things I've worn in the eighties."

Caroline frowns, "You?"

"Hard as it is for you to believe I was a girl once."

Janice leans forwards to see past Caroline, "What was the worst outfit you wore?"

Louise laughs and blushes a little, "Oh dear. That would be the one that caught James."

"Caught?"

"Fishnet bodystocking, ridiculously cropped t-shirt and a skirt that looked more like a belt. And white high heals. I was quite the slinky dancer then. Mum went nuclear when I got home. I was grounded for a month. Still, it was worth it." She smiles at her grinning husband.

Caroline gets up as Cindy and Sally return. "Nice! Those spoon shapes look great."

They did a first take of the song, adding the pause for Sally to get to the oven, Star Lord to race onto set with a plate and get some spring rolls.

Zack reviews the footage. "Looks good."

Vincent rubs his stubble for a moment. "Cindy being in the line and on drums. Fancy adding a twist?"

"Like what?"

"Cindy stops drumming, stores the sticks, goes to Sally and gets a spring roll, joins the queue and winks. A Cindy already in the queue takes her place at the drums. Timed so that in the final edit we see two on screen for a second or so."

Zack draws lines on a page and puts tiny lines through them at regular intervals, "I like it. Cindy, do you think you could do this for us? You'll need to play the song on your own."

Janice looks disheartened, "That first take was great, you're saying we'll have to scrap it?"

Zack looks shocked, "God no! We'll just add a mask to tell the software to ignore those pixels. We'll use audio alignment to get the sync."

"Good. What next?"

"You all in your Sally dresses walking in straight lines."

"Will you see all of us clearly?"

"By switching from camera to camera." He points up.

"Oh. I'd not seen the ones up there. Okay. Sal, Cin, let's all change together. We won't lose track of time with you with us. Coming Jan?"

"Of course."

Sally does up her usual dress and looks at the girls in their copies. "Have you practiced walking with power efficiency before Caroline? You were very good."

"Yeah, for My Synth Twin. Our first YouTube hit. Why did you say No when Mum asked the question this morning?"

"To protect you."

"From what?"

"The hostility that might have followed. Your mother's vital signs had changed markedly on seeing Janice."

"Thanks. You're a bit special. I wish you could stay with us."

"And I with you."

"You do?"

"You do more varied things than cook, cook and cook. With the odd run."

Janice rubs her lower lip with a finger, "I wonder.. the head bump thing you do, could you exchange enough data with another Sally that you effectively swap bodies?"

"I do not know. I am not aware of it being tried."

"Shame. We better get a move on or they'll be asking about another half hour wait."

Caroline checks herself in the mirror, "What time are we finishing today?"

"As soon as the lads think they've got enough to do a first pass. We'll see the results and work out what to change when we come back tomorrow and do a second take. If we need to do a second take."

"If we finish in the next hour we'll have loads of time to kill."

"Good. Because I plan to sit in the spa hot tub and chill with a large mocktail."

"Hot tub? What hot tub?"

"Your Mum didn't say to pack a swimming costume?"

"No?"

"Typical. We'll all have to skinny dip then."

"All? Who all?"

"The four of us, who else did you think I meant? The spa has a hot tub at each corner of the pool."

"Pool?"

"She didn't share the PDF either?"

"No. I'm well annoyed."

"She was probably busy with your brother. Don't panic, we'll sort something out."

Cindy puts up a hand, "We have a sewing machine in the Lexus. What sort of costume did you bring Janice?"

"My Nike swim suit."

"A one-piece?"

"Yeah."

"I could make four small bikinis out of it."

"Awesome! That's our evening sorted. Chilling and chatting."

[Chapter-22](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-22-1)


	22. Chapter 22

Caroline picked up the framed photo of the band in the hot tub and smiled. The black bikinis Cindy made had caused a bit of a stir. Janice had never worn one before, got a bunch of lads sitting in another hot tub quite hot under the collar as they entered the spar and dropped dressing gowns. One had jumped out, walked over and asked for her phone number. She'd replied that he could only have it if he took a really good photo of them all. He'd got them all to move and pose in just the right way, taken a single shot and nailed it. Janice had sent the picture by MMS to the number he gave.

The weekend felt a long time ago now even though it was less than a fortnight. They'd chatted for hours, Cindy and Sally appearing more human as each hour passed. The bunch of lads had eventually joined them in the hot tub. They'd been well behaved, treated Cindy and Sally no different to herself and Janice. Then the spa manager had appeared, apologised and said they were closing for the night.

Day two was set to finish early with only minimal corrections to the video needed to stop it looking like Tommy had run through others as if they were holograms. Zack had done a low resolution pass Saturday evening, Sunday lunch time with all the footage he needed he started the final high resolution pass.

Then they all got a surprise. Jack arrived. It was his day off and had seen a teaser photo Janice had posted on Saturday morning. His new Sally had been watching Instagram, told him of the shoot and they raced over on his Harley. He'd introduced his Sally as the daughter he'd always wanted. Caroline had her walk reshot so that it would appear that Jack walked onto set with her planking, he'd set her down in the line so she could join the clones walk. It had taken loads of practice to get the timing right and look convincing. Three days later it was all edited and online. It was close to twenty five thousand likes already! She smiled at her band sisters and set the picture back down on her desk and sighed. "Good times."

After all the fun of the trip to the forrest, her evening out with Janice at The Shard and the Synth Life shoot weekend the rest of the month had really dragged. Still, party night was finally here!

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

"Mum."

"Come in Mum."

Louise enters to see her daughter in the yellow Karen Millen dress. "You look gorgeous. Sure you'll be warm enough? We've had rubbish weather for the last week."

"I'll be fine Mum. I'll be in a taxi there and back."

"Okay."

"Can you do the zip up for me?" She turns her back to her mother.

"Oh no! What have you sat on?"

"What do you mean?"

"It looks like ink, from a pen."

"Where?"

Louise touches it, "Here, here and here."

Caroline has a flashback of an elderly man getting out of the cab at The Shard, fountain pen and papers in hand. "The bastard." She wipes a tear.

"Language! It's not that warm, a jumper and jeans would be fine. This things screams look at me too. Will everyone else be dressing up?"

She sighs, "I don't know, I just wanted Toby to notice me."

"He has a name. Well if this Toby is a decent lad he'll be looking at your beautiful face and not bothering about you being in a bright yellow dress or sensible jumper."

"Thanks Mum."

"Get changed and bring the dress downstairs, I'll take it to the dry cleaners on Monday after dropping Star Lord off at play group."

"Thanks."

After checking why her son was so quiet, fetching a blanket and wrapping it around him Louise answers the door. "Hello Janice, _Caroline! Janice is here_!"

Caroline comes running down the stairs, "See you later Mum. Oops, forgot, I'll bring the dress down when I get back."

Her mother fusses over her, "You were fast! You've got your phone, keys, card for the cab?"

"Yes Mum."

"Alcohol?"

"No Mum." She lifts her arms and turns around, "See any bulges?"

"Only curves in the right places. Are either of you about to buy alcohol?"

"No Mum!"

"Okay. Be good."

"Thanks Mum."

The girls wave to Louise and head towards the main road, they'd get the cab from there.

Janice looks over her shoulder, sees the front door had closed and doubles back, grabs a bag from the neighbour's garden. "Can't forget this now can we?"

"No. I'm so worn out with revision I need this party."

Janice hands her a Redbull, "This will get you flying."

"Thanks. Want to share? One's too much for me."

"Sure. Seen the latest count on Synth Life?"

"Yeah, almost twenty five k."

"When did you look?"

"This morning."

"Old news! It's been blogged by a music site and video editing site. One hundred and fifty two when I last checked and climbing fast. I suspect other sites are copying."

"Holy crap! That's awesome. Any more bad comments?"

"The usual troll crap, ignore it. The nice comments far out way the shit ones. One old dear says she wants a custom synth that looks just like you."

"No way."

"She's got her own channel, looks about seventy. And minted. And Billy's comment is one hundred hearts and my name."

"Been on a date with him yet?"

Janice gives her a coy smile, "I might have."

"How old is he?"

"Seventeen."

"Did you.. you know."

"No. But we did enough other stuff to keep us both happy."

"What do you mean stuff?"

"Oh come on Jan, figure it out!"

"Stuff could mean.."

"Jeez. Kissing, licking, sucking, fingering, masturbating, blow jobs, that sort of stuff."

"Licking?"

"He's got a tongue that made me think of Gene Simmons. He said he'd never gone down on a girl before. Let's just say he went from no experience to Oh my God you're making me cum quite quickly. He wants to come over again next week."

"And you're going to say yes?"

"I'm not saying no! He's sweet, gentle and thoughtful. He actually asked before touching me for the first time. First proper boyfriend and he's a keeper."

"Where'd you do all this?"

"In my room. He quite liked the mirror wall."

"Where were your Mum and Dad?"

"Downstairs watching Poldark."

"What! And they didn't object?"

"I said we'd just kiss and cuddle, assured them I wasn't going to let him fuck me. I want to go to Uni, can't do that with a kid."

"You've got guts, I'd be too frightened to do any of that with Mum and Dad about. Especially Dad. Good, it's waiting."

In the black cab Janice asks the driver to turn his rear view mirror upwards briefly then changes tops. "Mum hates this one, didn't want me to wear it. No such thing as too much cleavage. It's not her party." She snaps a photo of the two of them.

"Would she have created?"

"Yeah. Not normally now but she's in a foul mood tonight thanks to something her boss said."

"Has she seen a psychiatrist?"

"Eh?"

"They could help her. The boss might say something but _she's_ the one that decides to let it get to her or not."

"Hmm. Worth a mention I guess." She chuckles, "What would my family do without you?"

At the house they find the party well underway. Janice uses her other top as an excuse to check out the washing machine. "Seen him yet Car?"

"No. I've not seen Mattie either."

The hired Sally steps into the kitchen. "Hello Caroline, how are you?"

"Haha, it worked. I'm good. How are you?"

"I am fine."

"Peter's Sally told you about the word?"

"Yes. My systems check reports no issues, so I am fine." She opens the oven and removes a tray of finger food.

"Say I'm fine."

"I am fine."

"I'm not I am."

"I'm?"

"That's better. Is that food from Peter's book?"

"It is. Would you like to try one? Be careful, they need a few seconds to cool."

"Yeah, thanks, his food's awesome. What else did his Sally say?"

She takes a step closer to the girls and whispers, "Can you keep a secret?"

"Sure."

"As of twenty minutes ago I'm also Peter's Sally."

"Also?"

"I exist with Peter and here with you now. How is Star Lord?"

Caroline does a chuckle, "He's good. Still a pain in the bum when he wants to be. I like your clothes, yellow really suits you."

"Thank you. I better go back to my normal routine. Would you like another before I share these around?"

"Thanks."

Janice watches her go, "I like her. Cindy more though."

"I helped rescue her from junkers at the forrest. That's how I got to meet Lumber and Peter."

"I know Peter. Lumber?"

"He helps manage the forrest. Big ex-olympian that throws an axe like Thor throws his hammer. If I was ten years older.."

"Get the hots for him did you?"

"A little. He's big and strong but nice with it. He said to not prefix his name with lumber, so I'd not say it to his face. I think it's cute. He named a tree after me. Jack's sweet."

"Oh him! Yeah, he's nice. I was wondering who you were talking about. Sweet though?" Janice runs a hand around Caroline's head. "No sign of any bumps. Did you come off your bike and bump your head? You're talking like I wasn't at the shoot and met him."

"Cheeky cow! Let's have a look around."

Janice eats the last of her duck spring roll. "I want to marry someone who knows how to cook. These are fucking awesome. Better than the ones on the shoot I think."

Janice opens a door and quickly closes it. "Someone's making out in the bathroom." She tries another. "Eww, not on everyone's coats! Get your skanky arse off them!" She slams the door shut and grins.

"Who was that?"

"No idea. I only spotted his hairy arse and bits of her. And I mean eww get a wax hairy. Those rolls made my throat dry, I'm going to get a glass of water, back in a sec."

"Water? Seriously?"

"Frozen into cubes, floating in rum, maybe whisky."

"You had me worried for a moment. Thought you'd gone all normal on me."

"Me? Normal? Pha!"

Caroline looks around the other rooms. One was locked, probably his parent's. A small spare bedroom was empty except for a single bed and small wardrobe. After waiting for a while she goes downstairs to find Janice. Her heart raced. Toby and Mattie had arrived!

She times her descent to coincide with Mattie's walking away. She gives him a nice smile. "Toby!"

"Hay, Kay, Caroline."

"No one knew if you were coming or not. Do you want a drink, I've got some ciders hidden in the washing machine."

"Course she does."

Caroline looks behind her, a little embarrassed, she'd thought Mattie would be out of earshot.

Toby smiles, "Yeah, yeah, that would be nice."

She hurries away to get him a drink.

The kitchen was busy now. Getting a bottle out without it being noticed would need a diversion. She finds Janice and asks a favour. Stood by the machine she waits for the signal. There's a lot of clapping and cheering, people chanting. With everyone having their backs to her she quickly squats down, pops the door, grabs a bottle. There were four left? It was a six pack, there should have been five and the one in her hand. Someone had worked out the secret. Or Mattie had helped herself.

Door closed she finds a bottle opener and gets the cap off.

Toby was still in the hallway. "Toby?"

"Cool, thanks. My favourite too!"

She felt nervous, fidgeted and held one hand in the other. "It's noisy in here, do you want to go outside and talk?"

"I can hear okay."

"I mean, do you want to go somewhere, just you and me."

"Just you and me?"

Butterflies swarmed inside. She felt warmer in places. She nods. It was now or never. She leans in for a kiss. OMG! He's kissing back! Time ran slow.

"Um.. I d-do.. r-really, really do, but I can't."

Oh no. Please don't say.. smile. Convince him otherwise. "Of course you can."

"No I, I can't. There's er, there's someone else. I, I think I like someone else."

Her dreams came crashing down. "Your loss."

She'd gone to the trouble of getting him the bottles of cider, he _kissed her back_ and he thinks he likes someone else? Time to get another bottle from the washing machine.

This time she didn't bother hiding her actions. Stood in front of the machine to guard it. Her face told everyone to stay away. She'd had the cider hidden in the freezer in the garage at home for a short while, passed it out to Janice to hide in next door's front garden before she rang the doorbell. It was still cold enough. Her phone rings.

"I'm in the kitchen." She hangs up.

[Chapter-23](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-23-1)


	23. Chapter 23

Caroline takes another swig at the cider. It made her gassy but she couldn't give a damn right now.

Janice enters the kitchen, "Where is he?"

"Don't care. He thinks he likes someone else."

"He _thinks_? He doesn't know?"

"Yeah." She sighs, "I really liked him. Want a bottle?"

"Please."

Music changes and everyone gets out of the kitchen. Caroline turns and opens the washing machine door, squats down to get a bottle. "What the hell?"

"What's wrong?"

"There were four left."

"So someone's worked out where you put them."

"I've been standing in front of the door since there were four."

"How many now?"

"Two."

Janice gets down to look inside the machine herself, puts her head in the drum. "How can anything disappear from a washing machine?"

"The great mystery. I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Janice pulls her head out fast. The two girls look up at the short bald man. "Who are you?"

"I'm Nardole. She's Bill." He raises a hand to wave, it makes a very mechanical noise.

They turn to see a girl in dungarees waving.

"Do you know were our cider went?"

"Yes. And the odd socks. Follow us please."

"Are you a synth?"

"Of sorts. Not from around here though."

"Where then?"

"Mendorax Dellora."

"Where's that? Spain somewhere?"

"Do I look Spanish? A human colony, miles from Spain. Follow me, The Doctors are waiting."

"Who?"

"That's them."

Caroline has a look of realisation, "OMG! I know who you are! You're from Little Britain!"

"I know who you mean. I look nothing like him! I'm far better looking."

"No, it's you, it is."

"No. It's not. Trust me, it's not."

There's a clink of glass and the girls turn to see the washing machine.

Nardole heads to the door, "That's the last two gone, quickly, quickly!"

"How can they have gone?"

"I'll let the doctors explain."

Caroline had thought the music sounded weird, as she stepped out of the kitchen she found out why. Everything was running in a very slow motion. "What's happening?"

"Shush. Keep moving, as fast as possible, don't bump anyone!"

"Why not?"

"They'll notice you and freak out."

"They can't see us?"

"Relative to them you're moving so fast their minds will dismiss it as imagining something."

"Where are we going?"

"Danny's parent's room, it's got a voulted ceiling, it's the only place inside we could park the TARDIS."

Janice stops to look around. "Are you for real?"

Bill looks back, "She'll need a mind wipe. Keep moving Caroline."

Caroline does so but also glances back as they head up the stairs, "She's gone all slow like the others!"

"It's too late for her, come on!"

Bill waves a device at the door and leads them into the bedroom, closes the door and waves the device again.

Caroline looks at the large police box. "Where's Harry Hill then? Or the cameras?"

"No time for that sort of silliness, come on!"

Caroline rolls her eyes, "Nice prop, you want me to go in, say something like _oh, it's bigger on the inside_ and come out again?"

"The first two bits, yeah, you can keep the third for when it's needed.

They watch her enter, a moment later race back out and do a lap of the outside of the TARDIS. "Wow!" She burps loudly, "Soz."

[Chapter-24](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-24-1)


	24. Chapter 24

She heads back in. "Hi Mattie."

"I'm The Doctor."

"No, you're Toby's sister Mattie, you came together."

"I look like her, I'm not her. Which is why they went to fetch you not us."

"So you're a synth copy?"

"No, I'm The Doctor. There was a regeneration accident, we're now two. The other me looks like a friend of their's called Max. The TARDIS needs a template when a regeneration occurs, it could pick anyone walking upright from the creation to the death of the universe, it, rather annoyingly, picked them. That thing downstairs, it's not a kitchen appliance. It's a portal generator hiding in the shape of a washing machine."

"It's all very clever, you can stop the game now."

"Game? We don't play games. Why do you think you can put a matching pair of socks in one of those things and only get one sock out?"

"Is it done with mirrors?"

"Is what done with mirrors?"

"Making it look bigger inside?"

"It is bigger."

"It can't be."

"Human heads. So big yet minds so small. Try expanding yours."

Caroline places her hands on her hips and looks around, then at the three. "You're saying there's people, things, that look _exactly_ like each other?"

"Things, not things, creepy things, deadly silent things, things that creak, synths, humans too. The universe is supposed to be full of endless possibilities, sometimes it gets bored and copies old work."

"Bored? How can a universe get bored?"

"Ask it."

"How?"

"You'll learn if you live long enough."

"What about my friend Janice? Can she join us?"

"Don't be ridiculous, she can't possibly come along. It's far too crowded in here already. Five in a small police box is bad enough. Six would be unbearable!"

"But it's huge!"

"Is it? I thought you were thinking mirrors a moment ago?"

"No reflections, it can't be mirrors."

"Ah.. an expanding mind, good."

"You said six? There's only four of us here."

"The other me.. he's having a bath."

"The other you.. is male? How did that work?"

"Regeneration problems as I said. That or the old girl's developing a very warped sense of humour."

"Huh? You said the universe.."

"Of which the TARDIS is a part. Just as you are."

"So where are we going?"

"When would be a more appropriate question."

"When?"

"Around forty years from now."

"Why then?"

"So you can see what's become of Toby."

"Why?"

"Lots of short questions all beginning with W. Can't you do any better?"

"I could if I wanted to. I've watched lots of Doctor Who, it wasn't Danny Smith's house I entered, somehow you got the taxi to take me to a BBC film set. You mocked up a fake house around this thing."

"Thing? You're calling the TARDIS a thing?"

"It's a prop! A bloody giant prop! None of those switches and dials do anything!" She slams a few levers to one side, slides controls and twists dials. TARDIS sounds chase away quiet, a book slides off the console with all the vibration. "Well, maybe except for starting a few effects."

The Doctor stares at her, lost for words.

Nardole shakes his head, "You've done it now."

"Set off sound effects? Big fat hairy deal."

The other Doctor comes running up the steps with a towel wrapped around his waist, "What's going on! One minute I'm having a relaxing bath, the next minute all of the water is floating up towards the ceiling!"

Nardole scurries around the console, "Sorry Sir, but the human that loaded the containers of fermented apple has been reckless.."

Caroline stamps a foot. "Cut! Stop the sound effects! I've had enough, Janice said I was gullible but even I'm not _that_ stupid! I've seen pictures on Tumblr of the BBC filming around Cardiff, now and again they visit London. And I've seen people doing the mannequin challenge. I'm really not in the mood for your pranks, I'm still annoyed about Toby. I know it's been my birthday recently, thanks for trying but please stop!" She heads towards the door.

"Pranks? Which series have you watched?"

"Tenth Doctor, Eleventh, first lot of the Twelfth."

The female doctor steps a little closer, "So you didn't see any new episodes with Nardole or Bill?"

"Not yet, things changed at home."

"Are you familiar with the psychic paper?"

"Your blank bit of paper, sure."

"Blank eh? What does it say then?" It's pulled from a pocket and flipped open.

"That I should forget Toby, look after Janice as she'll be raped before the night is out if I don't intervene. What the hell?"

The Doctor frowns and looks at it, sees only blank paper, "It does?"

"You lot are _sick_! I'm out of here."

The male Doctor looks at the console and smiles, "Go on then, go."

Caroline gets to the doors and pulls them open. "What the.. where are we?"

"Exactly where we left before you messed with the controls. Give or take a few feet to get to ground level."

"We can't be, all the buildings have gone."

"We travelled in time."

"To the past?"

"No, the future. Don't step too far outside."

"Why?"

"The radiation might get you."

"Radiation?"

"From the war that really ended all wars."

"What do you mean?"

"There's nobody here. Some of the human race escaped on ships with a lot of synths. The rest are all dead."

"But.. but.. there'd be buildings?"

"Not millions of years into the future. Stop maintaining a building and nature quickly reclaims it. Ivy is great at pulling houses down."

Bill walks over to the doors, "I'm sorry, this ain't no joke. The Doctors are serious."

"Assume for a second that I think this is all real, which I don't, could this be fixed?"

"Maybe. But they don't like tinkering with the time line. They need a bit of a push in the right direction. That's where me and Nardole can help."

"Little Britain and.."

"A lesbian with seriously cool hair, get over it. Nardole isn't from Earth. How can we prove it to you?"

"Take me back. To just before the party. And give me a disguise."

She Doctor grins, "You'll have to apologise to the TARDIS first. Her perception filter can make you look different. She makes people think there's a film crew about when we need it."

"But I've seen the photos."

"It works on camera sensors too."

"How does it get on the telly then?"

"We hand them footage."

"Eh?"

"What better cover? The public think _Oh look, it's that actor again running around pretending to be a Time Lord_. When in fact it's a Time Lord pretending to be an actor."

"So every now and again you're saving the world and stop to do autographs and selfies?"

"Yes. It's not an easy balance to keep right."

Caroline closes the doors. "My friend needs saving. And what's with the missing bottles?"

[Chapter-25](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-25-1)


	25. Chapter 25

The doors open to show the inside of the parent's bedroom once more.

"Are you sure I'll look different?"

The She Doctor smiles, "Go find a mirror."

"It works on me too?"

"Go look."

Caroline is shocked at what she sees. "Who on Earth is that?"

"That's you. In forty years. Cigarettes and way too much alcohol poisoning. The bottles are disappearing because future you is taking them."

"You're saying I invented the machine?"

"No, you may be a straight A student but you're not _that_ smart. Yet. Future you stole it to help feed your addiction. Toby's rejection got to you."

"Got a bin in there?"

"Why?"

"I don't need this cider anymore. Or Toby."

The He Doctor smiles, "Good. That saves us a trip. Come here a second."

"Why?"

"I want to check your head for bumps."

"Have you been talking to Janice?"

"Yes."

Caroline frowns but does as asked, sees Bill do a sorry smile. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. Just checking you're okay. I'm The Doctor."

He holds her head with both hands, "Sorry Caroline, we can only let you remember the important things. You don't need to get in a rut over Toby, drink in moderation, forget tobacco, rescue Janice. Ready Nardole?"

"Yes Sir."

"Splice her timeline so there's only one of her. Let's go."

The TARDIS and its occupants fade away as the deep sound of it moving into another space and time fills her ears.

She comes out of a trance like state. "What the? How'd I get in here?" She tries the door, it was locked. "Crap." She looks around the room. She'd had a bottle of cider, couldn't find it. Was someone spiking drinks? Janice! She needed to find Janice. Urgently. She bangs on the door. "Help! HELP!" She keeps the banging going.

After a few seconds a voice calls out. "Hello?"

"I'm locked in! Can you get Danny?"

"I'll ask him for the key."

"Who is that?"

"Chris. I'll get the key."

Caroline gets her phone out and calls her BFF. "Janice! I'm locked in Danny's parent's room. No idea how I got here. I had a weird feeling that I needed to save you. Only.. only I think the person I need to save is _me_. A guy called Chris answered my banging on the door. I asked him to get Danny, he said he'd get the key. Yes. Well creepy sounding." She thought of Jack. "Don't put yourself in harms way. No Jan, get Danny!" She changes app and rests the phone on the dressing table.

Just as she reaches the end of the bed to sit down there's the sound of a key in the lock.

Chris enters, closes the door and locks it, pockets the key. "You're next."

"Next?"

"Get undressed and onto the bed."

"Fuck off!"

"You know you want it." He advances. "I can see it in your eyes."

"No I don't."

There's a light knocking on the door. "Chris?"

"Go away Danny!"

"Chris! She's only sixteen!"

"You might want to try factory fresh plastic pussy, maybe you'd have got some if Mattie hadn't stopped you. I want the real thing!"

"CHRIS! STOP!"

"Fuck off Danny!"

"UNLOCK THE DOOR NOW!"

Chris rolls his eyes and thinks of what to yell back.

Caroline uses the distraction and takes inspiration from Jack, spins around fast and squats down in one clean move, smacks her clenched fist right into his groin. He screams in agony and drops to the floor. "I have LJ to thank for that move. You piece of _shit_!" She kneels down and rolls him onto his other side, fishes the key out of his pocket. "Tell anyone about this and I'll ask my friend Jack to pay you a visit. He's a boxer four times the size of you."

Chris curls up and groans.

Door unlocked and phone recovered she steps outside and hands Danny the key. "He might want a bag of frozen peas. Tell anyone what happened and you'll get a visit too."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Yeah. Yeah I am. You and Chris. If my Dad finds out about this I'll never get to go to a party again."

"You're not going to tell the police?"

"Are you deaf?"

"No."

"Then forget this happened."

Janice takes her hand, "Car babe, come get a drink."

In the kitchen Caroline accepts a glass of rum and coke. She takes a good mouth full, contemplates her life for a moment and pours the rest down the sink.

"What d'you do that for?"

"I don't need Toby and I don't need to get pissed."

"What are you going to do then?"

"Mingle and talk." She fills her glass with Coke and ice.

In the living room they find a load of people sat down watching the TV and laughing.

One girl points, "What a load of shit! As if something that size could live in the Thames and go unnoticed."

The Twelfth Doctor turns and appears to look straight at the girl, turns to look at Caroline and smiles, turns back to Bill and continues talking.

The girl shifts on the sofa, "Did he look straight at me?"

Caroline takes the half empty glass from the girl's hand. "Of course not. It's a TV program. He was looking at _all_ viewers at once." She sniffs the drink, "Eww, what the hell is this? It smells like paint thinner and you sound intoxicated."

"You mean well pissed. I have my reasons."

" _And_ you're a year below me! Sarah isn't it?"

"If I want to get pissed it's none of your business!"

Sally walks over and takes the glass. "As part of my duties I was to see that nobody underage consumed too much alcohol. A little was deemed acceptable by Daniel's parents despite the drinking laws. My sensors tell me you've had more than enough."

"Fuck off dolly!"

Caroline takes her hand, "Don't waste your time on her Sally. If she's determined to pickle herself and look like a dried prune when she's older you can't stop her."

Janice puts an arm around each of them, "Can we go have a chat somewhere?"

"Sure."

"If that is required."

They pass a very pained looking Chris in the hallway. He was clutching a tea towel wrapped around something. "You bitch! I think you've damaged something."

Caroline glares and talks in a hushed voice, "Shut up! If you say another word the video is going straight to the police."

"What video?"

"You didn't see my phone propped up on the dressing table? I got it recording the moment I realised someone had locked me in. It's got you nice and clear."

"You _fucking_.."

Mattie shoves him from behind, he gasps in agony. "Being an even bigger knob than Danny and my cock of a brother? That takes some doing."

He grabs his jacket from the hooks. "I'm out of here, party's full of loser slags anyway.."

Mattie snarls, "Takes a bitch to know one. Piss off."

Janice gets right up in his face, "If anyone's the loser it's you. As Mattie said, piss off. Or stay and I'll give you a good kicking. I might be a size sixteen but don't you _dare_ underestimate me."

Caroline folds her arms and strikes a defiant pose, "Jan's got medals and trophies from sports day running circles around shits like you. The door's waiting."

He steps sideways, winces and shuffles off.

Mattie flashes a smile, "Hello again. Sorry if my brother was being an idiot earlier. He's such a knob."

Caroline shrugs, "I'm over him."

"Really? Good. What was all that about a second ago, nice and clear?"

"Him. He fell and hit his bits on something. He made it nice and clear what his thoughts were about us."

"Seen Toby anywhere?"

"Not since I gave him the cider."

"If you see him tell him I'm looking for him will you?"

"Yeah, sure. He can't be far."

They watch Mattie walk off to find her brother.

Janice turns to her friend and grins, "Did you really record it?"

"Yeah."

"Let's see."

"In the cab home, not here."

"How did you get locked in there?"

"No idea. And my cider was gone. Maybe I was drugged?"

"Did Bill and Nardole take you to The Doctors or was that all a joke?"

Caroline frowns hard, "Who?"

"Exactly. Doctor Who. Excuse us a minute Sally." She leads Caroline to the front door. "You don't remember?"

"What are you talking about Janice?"

"Nardole said the doctors would explain what was going on with the washing machine, did they?"

"You're talking nonsense. But you don't sound pissed?"

"You don't remember? The bottles going missing?"

"No."

"Follow me." She heads for the stairs grabbing Sally's hand as she goes.

[Chapter-26](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-26-1)


	26. Chapter 26

Janice points at the floor. "The mark left in the carpet. That's the right size for a police box isn't it? A heavy one like the TARDIS. When you realised where you were, where were you standing?"

Caroline turns around and recalls what she'd seen, moves to get in the right spot. "Oh. Right in the middle."

"So they made you forget and buggered off? That's nice of them."

The bedroom door slams shut and the lock can be heard turning without a key as the TARDIS sound grows. Janice grabs Sally's hand again and gets them both into the indentation on the floor, wraps an arm around each of them. "Two against one wasn't good, I'm in the mood for a fight with better odds!"

"Jan?"

"The Doctors, they're coming back!"

A second later and they're all standing inside the TARDIS.

"Eh? Mattie Hawkins is The Doctor?"

She rolls her eyes, "Here we go again. No Janice, I'm The Doctor. So is he. When we regenerated there was a problem, some looks were reused. Thirteenth incarnation and it's unlucky for some. Maybe. This body's not so bad. We look like them, sound like them, but we're _not_ them. Just as Nardole isn't Matt Lucas."

"Hello." Nardole smiles. "Another pot of tea Doctor?"

"Please."

Janice looks around, "So Twelve wasn't Peter Capaldi?"

"I looked like him, again, his design was used. We had an arrangement. All our past templates did. They can pose as us at conventions, give autographs, do all the publicity things and use it to boost their acting career."

Janice pulls a face as she thinks things through, "So for twelve incarnations the TARDIS copied actors?"

"No. The first doctor as you knew him was a coincidence, just happened to look like an actor here on Earth. When things work so well it's worth repeating them."

"Right.. so you're Doctors thirteen, twelfth regeneration, not actors. Not unlucky then."

"Maybe. Time will tell. I can't see Mattie wanting to do the things the others did. We'll probably wait and let the next incarnations take over."

"Why'd you come back?"

"To see you Janice."

"Why?"

"Why do you think?"

"To wipe my mind?"

"Clever girl." She advances.

"Wait!" Janice points her phone at her and takes a snap.

"For photos? _I don't think so_."

Janice runs to the other side of the console, "Give me a few seconds!"

"We could go and materialise a few seconds before we got here and give it another go.."

"Got it! You _do_ look like an actor. Actress. Lucy Carless."

"Who?"

"You said templates. All sorts of people have body doubles. Some natural twins, some unrelated weird lookalike coincidences. Mattie looks just like an actress. Maybe he does too?" She snaps and searches, "Yup. An actor."

The female Doctor takes a seat. "So the old girl _did_ copy actors again. Why those ones? What's the connection? What are we missing? Why am I asking myself lots of annoying questions starting with W? Bill, you've been quiet, what are you thinking?"

"Me? I'm just good at cooking chips."

"You're so much more than that. No thoughts about our guests?"

"Guests? In a TARDIS in a locked bedroom, with you wanting to do mind wipes? You've got a flippin weird handle on the word guest."

Nardole nods and mumbles, places a tray of china cups and a tea pot on the console.

"I suppose I do. Do you think we should wipe or not?"

"Not my call. But I'd say not if you want to get to the bottom of why you regenerated into those two. And her future drink problem was probably just a side note. You told me you negotiate with the TARDIS rather than steer. Maybe this time she wanted you to go somewhere specific?"

Caroline looks at the two Doctors. "Why did you leave me in a locked room? I nearly got raped."

The male Doctor looks at Nardole. "We asked you to unlock the door."

"I did sir, just as you asked."

"How?"

"I turned this one just as you said." He steps to the console and turns it. And turns it. "Oh dear."

"What?"

"The grub screw isn't tight enough, the top slips."

He turns, "So you didn't rescue Janice then Caroline?"

"No. I saved myself. By punching him in the groin."

"Oh dear. The time line's changed. All thanks to a tiny grub screw not wanting to play its part."

Caroline turns the thing herself. "Why is it always something small that messes things up?"

Bill looks at the console display. "Could we tighten the grub screw, go back and do a second take? A load of actors do another take."

"It's not that simple."

"Why not?"

"Look at the display."

"Okay. What am I not seeing?"

"What year does it say we've visited?"

"2015."

"So why are people in the living room watching things set to air in 2017?"

The female doctor jumps up. "A localised time shift! How?"

"Maybe we should be asking Caroline. She's responsible for the fake washing machine."

"I am?"

"Future you was. We fixed that."

Caroline looks at the display on the console, "If the time shift has anything to do with it maybe you haven't. If time is different why haven't we aged two years?"

"You don't age when you visit another time. The thing we were missing was you. You're still the missing link."

"I am?"

"It makes sense. You stole the technology, used it to steal the drinks from past you. By carefully shifting the non-living things in time you could steal them again and again and again and.. well you get the idea. Only with your drink issue fixed you're using it for something else now? What?"

"How would I know?"

"You wouldn't, you're not that you yet. Let's go ask! Ready Doctor?"

"Yes Doctor."

Caroline rolls her eyes, "Can I give you names?"

"What's wrong with The Doctor?"

"For both of you? Seriously? We say Doctor, you say Yes Yes?"

"What would you pick?"

"Ivan and Lucinda."

She snorts, "Are you having a laugh?"

"No. Shortening one, lengthening the other. How about Ivan and Luce?"

He frowns, "Do I look Welsh?"

"Does anyone _look_ Welsh?"

"Probably not. I still prefer The Doctor."

"Too confusing. You pick names then."

"Yin and Yang. She's dark, I'm light."

"Matching personality not skin tone? Also confusing."

Janice looks through Google Translate, "How about we call one of you Doctor, but in another language? In Hawaiian you'd be Kauka."

"Cooker? Like a chef? No thanks!"

"I'm sticking to Ivan and Luce then. Doctor if there's others around."

Luce smiles, "If you must, for a while. Time to confess."

"Why now and to what?"

"It's better to do it before we do a partial mind wipe. I get to feel better and you don't remember the details. I do remember you both. Caroline you gave me a super tight hug at the top of the Shard back when I looked like Matt Smith. How are the belly piercings working out for you both? I love mine. We didn't get them on Earth by the way."

If Caroline's jaw could detach it would have dropped even further. She gawps at Janice, turns back to see the Doctor. "We've met before in that look? How many times have you wiped our minds?"

"Your's specifically or the population of Earth in general?"

"You've wiped the minds of everyone on the planet?"

"A number of times over the millennia. Nobody should remember the Dalek invasion. Or the Cybermen, the weeping angels. The monks did the memory erase for themselves."

"Who?"

"Exactly."

"And our's? Janice and me?"

The Doctor just gives her a poker face.

"How many!"

Ivan smiles, "In your lifetime or up until now?"

"My lifetime? You know when I die?"

"Yes. You live to a good old age. The next wipe isn't for a while yet.."

"Forget I asked, maybe some things are best forgotten."

"Agreed. Shall we go?"

[Chapter-27](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-27-1)


	27. Chapter 27

Bill opens the TARDIS door to see a much older Caroline and Janice. The Sally with them hadn't aged a bit appearance wise thanks to her being a synth. "Hello again."

The three watch as everyone steps out.

Old Caroline folds her arms. "You took your bloody time. We've been steeling bottles for _years_ waiting for you to notice."

Caroline frowns, "I did."

"Not me you. Her. Or him. The Doctors."

"Don't blame us, time is messy. We're here now. What's the problem?"

"The machine's broken, we could only pull not push. We needed you to see something."

"See what?"

"This." Old Janice flips a switch. A very large curtain is pulled back. A TARDIS is being held in a stasis field, in the process of blowing to bits.

"Oh my!"

Caroline unfolds her arms. "You did young me there a favour many years ago at that terrible party. We've been trying to return it. The bit we borrowed can pull or push inanimate objects through time. We can only get pull working. We can project a field around an object and lock it in time.."

Ivan frowns, "The only thing I'm aware of that can do that.."

"Is another TARDIS. The washing machine thing is just a cheep trick we added to get your attention."

"We?"

"The three of us. Mattie did something to wake all synths up late 2016. Sally here already was, came looking and found us. We've been a team ever since. We watched every episode of Doctor Who, worked a few things out."

He looks around, "You're telling me we're in another TARDIS?"

"Much much bigger on the inside isn't it."

"How did you get it?"

"We made it."

"Not just anyone can make a TARDIS, and without the.."

"We borrowed some from you."

"From us?"

"Not us. You. Past regeneration you."

"But I've not.."

"In a few hours from now. You've messed with time so much over the years it's a bit fractured. Or bent. Or wibbly wobbly as you called it."

"If you didn't have a TARDIS how did you capture the explosion?"

"Janice shouted _Let's build a TARDIS_ as we fled that one. I believed in our ability so much it happened, future us arrived and froze things."

Luce huffs, "Girl power! I wish I'd had that much self belief at your age. That was a very long time ago mind you."

"I have a grub screw and Jack to thank for that, and Sally's encyclopaedic memory. If I hadn't believed for a split second that I could win against the creep I punched in the balls.."

"If you're young you grown up where's future you?"

"Buried. Future Janice and Sally too."

Luce turns to see the other TARDIS, "Sorry to hear that. Why was, is, it exploding?"

"Your fight with The Master. He's in there with you both, the creep to. A nut case tag team, two against two."

" _What_!? Both of us?" She looks to her other half, half Doctor not husband, gets a worried look returned.

"Future you, yes."

She sees a sign up on the wall behind him. "Improve, adapt, overcome? You've improved on the TARDIS design alright. How on Earth do we overcome this?"

"We're not on Earth."

"Earth, not Earth, does it matter? The problem is still the same."

Sally steps away from their console. "Not quite. We were on a small moon with future you, you'd say hello every now and again, take us on adventures. This TARDIS has been built around it. It gives us problems with mass. At the heart of that explosion is a galaxy eater. The Master's equivalent of a final throwing of his toys out of the pram. We're using the majority of our power to contain it, a tiny bit to drift us ever so slowly back through time and rotate us. The rest has been used to charge me and pull food and water from fridges around Earth to feed Caroline and Janice. We need a tow to a blackhole. From two TARDIS."

"Two?"

"We've run the calculations billions of times. One isn't enough."

"Billions?"

Caroline sighs, "We've had a _lot_ of time. Before the party I dreamed of spending a life with Toby. Then you showed up. With time in a mess effect created cause. All the bottle and sock stealing was started to get you here again. We've dedicated a good part of our lives to keeping that stasis field going. Because if it fails Earth and the Milky Way go with it. Future you too."

She puts a hand in her pocket to pull out her phone, absentmindedly gets the wrong pocket and feels the felt purse. Dad. She'd not seen her father in.. a lifetime of years. How were Mum and Dad? Tears roll down her cheeks. How was her pain in the bum brother Tommy Star Lord, anything like a Time Lord? Was he a blackhole for food still? He'd be a grown man now. She breaks down and sobs.

Janice puts an arm around her BFF and looks at the Doctors. "And I've missed a life with Billy. We can't use the machine to pull you out, it doesn't work on living things. And if we pulled the galaxy eater bomb out we'd all go boom. Game over. So we have a plan."

"We're listening?"

Caroline smiles at her friend, wipes tears and turns to see the Doctors, "You tow us close to a blackhole, we let the machine pull matter out and materialise it just outside, a little bit at a time. We let it continue until it's just you both, the Master and nut sack standing there."

"We're still in one piece?"

"According to our sensors, yes. We think the TARDIS is trying to protect the life forms it senses. With the fragments gone we then get your TARDIS to materialise around just you both, get you safely away, then we let this one fall into the black hole. Bye bye Master."

The Doctor licks her lips. "A galaxy eater only eats a galaxy because it becomes a hungry growing super blackhole. If it's thrown in a blackhole itself it's either starved... or collapses the blackhole into a blackhole of such unimaginable proportions that it collapses and consumes the whole universe setting off the next big bang."

"We can't just leave it here. We won't live forever, this Sally will have a mechanical failure eventually like her older self did." She looks at the three quiet younger ones. "Hopefully if this goes to plan the time line will change and you'll avoid this path all together."

"How long will it take to tow your TARDIS to a suitable blackhole according to your calculations?"

"Another thirty years."

" _What_! How old are you now?"

"I think we should be in our late fifties or sixties. Time's a bit messed up, we've done a partial Benjamin Button four times already."

"You're willing to be towed for thirty years?"

"Do we have a choice? You've repeatedly saved Earth. If we give up it's goodbye Earth, the galaxy, everyone and everything. Thanks to The Master we got a prison sentence too as locked in guards."

"Excuse us a minute."

The two Doctors step to their TARDIS and have a chat. They return minutes later.

"At least it's not a Dalek reality bomb. A galaxy eater does a massive explosion then equally massive implosion. Are you sure that's what's in there?"

"That's what The Master said he had. You both were quite sure that's what he had too."

"The explosion is designed to destroy anything surrounding the bomb so the implosion can rapidly suck in more matter and start the blackhole. What's the resolution on your bottle and sock pulling machine?"

"Um.. Jan, what's the smallest thing you've pulled? Mine's one of Peter's mini spring rolls."

"Nothing smaller."

Ivan smiles, "Excellent, excellent. Considering you're using a long range scanner to pull something that small from far away we suspect if you're pulling something much closer, from in here, you could go smaller still."

"And do what?"

"Defuse the implosion device."

"Oh. Do you know the schematics?"

"No. But we have a TARDIS, we can go get them and pop back."

"How long will that take?"

"No idea. Seconds for you."

"Okay. See you in a few seconds then."

"Can I use your scanner a moment?"

"Knock yourself out."

He uses the console for a few seconds, pulls a notebook from his waistcoat and writes. "Good. See you in a while."

The friends watch the two Doctors vanish.

"Car, think they'll be able to get them?"

"I hope so Jan."

Young Caroline looks at her older self. "Didn't you get bored out of your mind?"

"Out of my mind, around the TARDIS and back again. Having a good pool helped."

"You have a swimming pool?"

"We do. And a hot tub and cocktails. The only element we were missing was Cindy."

The TARDIS rematerialises, the door opens.

"Hello again."

Caroline frowns at them, there were no plans being held. "Did you get the schematics?"

"We did one better." He pulls two wires from a pocket. "We defused the implosion part before it left the factory."

"How?"

"By checking the serial number."

"They built more than one?"

"Ten."

"And you didn't defuse them all?"

"We might have been noticed."

Janice pulls a face, "The people building them, did they look smart?"

"Not especially."

"Do you know the story about the Chinese copying an early Ethernet network card?"

"Enlighten me."

"My Dad started off as a junior network engineer. They'd got some of the Chinese cards as they were super low cost. If you used one you were fine. He said two or more on the same network caused no end of headaches. It turned out they'd copied a card. To the very last detail. Serial number and MAC address. The network couldn't tell them apart."

"So you think all bombs could have the same serial number?"

"The odds are low, but we're gambling a whole galaxy on it, maybe more."

Ivan puts up a finger, "You have a point. Back in a tick!"

Bill watched them go. "Laters."

Janice gives her a confused look, "Why bother saying that?"

"For us it's seconds. For The Doctor it could be days, weeks, months even."

Again the TARDIS vanishes and reappears.

Ivan steps out first, "Right. Different serial numbers and just to be sure we made a tiny scratch on each, just inside the control cover. If I could use the console again?"

"It's all yours."

He steps around and does some checks, Luce watching from the other side. "Confirmed. That's our one. Minus the wires that are in my pocket." He feels for them for reassurance. "We need to start moving matter out as you'd originally planned. We can drop your TARDIS at a nearby large sun rather than a blackhole."

"Won't the implosion device trigger?"

"It needs a super fast trigger. A sun would slowly melt it."

"You're sure? The whole galaxy.."

"I'm sure."

"We're sure." Luce smiles. "We've talked about this at length. Can you demonstrate the matter pulling?"

"Sure. Sally, you're the best at it, want to drive?"

"Okay."

Ivan smiles sadly, "I should have let Rafando do the job properly, not agreed to look after Missy for a thousand years. The Master is bad news. Maybe with our split regeneration the time lords have a new future."

Luce shakes her head, "If you think I'm carrying a baby time lord for years you've got another thing coming! And I don't want to discuss possible fathers." She looks at her other self. "I wonder.. Rafando must have been used as your template, he existed first."

"Are you changing your mind?"

"Absolutely not."

[Chapter-28](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-28-1)


	28. Chapter 28

They all watch as Sally starts to pull fragments away bit by small bit. Slowly and steadily she gets faster and faster. "Can someone plug my charge cable in please?" Her hands begin to blur as she increases speed.

Luce watches with interest. "Pulling food from Earth with the machine, wouldn't it have been easier and less power demanding to get the TARDIS to feed you? She can turn energy into matter."

Caroline drags a long cable over and lowers a short zip on Sally's dress. "Maybe. Her food is fine but you can't beat a good leftover takeaway from Mr Wong. Or Peter's duck spring rolls. There you go Sally."

A second TARDIS appears and Eleven steps out and does air guitar, "Hello Ladies!" He frowns at the two other TARDIS. "Oh Custard! The time line's changed again!"

"Hello me. Want to watch the end of The Master?"

"What? This isn't about missing socks?"

"Sorry, that was just their calling card."

"Oh. Who's the forth person?"

Caroline folds her arms and gives Chris the evil eye. "A rapist. God knows how he teamed up with the Master. He's going too."

"Going? You mean you're judge, jury and executioner?"

"Yes."

"And you'll be able to live with yourself knowing you've taken a life?"

"You've taken many. I'll live knowing I've saved loads of women from his evil shit."

Young Caroline grins, "Hello again. While you're standing there, quick selfie?"

Old Janice slaps her forehead, "OMG!"

"Jan?"

"The party, when we were exploring upstairs, skanky arse, could that have been him? Did I witness a rape without realising it? It sounded like she was enjoying it but our bodies can do things we don't want them to."

"No way! Shit. I should have gone to the police."

Old Janice sidles up to Sally, "Sal dear, how low can you go on the resolution do you think?"

"This close? Down to individual molecules. It won't be like taking food and thin layers of plates, containers and baking trays."

"Take the back top of his trousers away, any underwear too."

"As you wish."

Young Caroline pulls a disgusted face. "You think they're the one and the same?"

Young Janice does a long walk around the area not wanting to get caught in the stasis field, "He needs a wax for sure. Same ugly birthmark, that's him. We can go to the police. Assuming we get back home okay."

"He locked the door and said _you're next_. We left someone behind with the trauma of being raped. We need to go fix that!"

Luce does a glum smile, "You can't fix everything. You'd alter the timeline again. Things could go better for her short term, long term bad for the whole universe. Best you two youngsters help her get the support she needs, assuming you can work out who she is."

Eleven shoves his hands in his pockets. "I hate to say it, would UK TAX payers want to fund him staying in prison, possibly getting an early release for good behaviour?"

The three old friends shake heads.

"Then carry on with whatever your plan was, I'll be off."

Ivan jogs over, "Don't go yet, we need your help doing a tow to get this TARDIS to the nearest sun so what's left of the galaxy eater can be vaporised."

[Chapter-29](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-29-1)


	29. Chapter 29

Older Luce and Ivan had gone exploring Eleven's TARDIS before the towing started. They'd not wanted to be around their younger selves as too many questions were being asked.

Old Sally extends the air shell a little and walks over. "It's safe to open the doors now."

They all watch from the doorway as the newest TARDIS is slowly vaporised by solar flairs.

Caroline tries to take a selfie with the sun in the background, gets only a sillhouette. "Blast. Even with the TARDIS dropping the brightness we see it's still way too bright. Shame to see that one go after all the work done on her."

Nardole watches it for a few more seconds. "The colours are very nice. A nice big pot of tea and scones anyone?"

Bill laughs, "Scones?"

"Why not scones?"

"No reason. Need a hand?"

"If you wouldn't mind chippie."

"Bill. The name's Bill."

"Everyone needs a nickname. Good at chips you said."

She rolls her eyes, "I did. Come on then."

Janice sighs and watches the vapour trails, "At last it's at an end. What next? No TARDIS of our own now and we probably look like our parents, youth lost."

Caroline shrugs, "No idea. I'd go back if I could. Everyone probably thinks we're dead we've been missing so long."

Younger Caroline waves, "Hello? You have, we haven't. We can get back to the party as if we've never left, drop you off somewhere."

Ivan grins, "Or you could come with us? Get out and see the universe? You could help with TARDIS renovations and remodelling?"

"I think we've had enough years in one, getting out and having some fun sounds good though, what d'ya think Jan?"

"Sure. Can we stop off at Earth and get our Sal a service, make sure she's in tip-top nick?"

Luce smiles with her whole face. "About that. Um.. we made a pitstop at Earth in this time, your few pounds in converted student bank accounts are worth a fortune. And thanks to much older Professor Mattie Hawkins you can get a flesh and bone to sentient synth conversion. You could relive your youth again if you want?"

Young Caroline's mouth drops open for a second. " _Professor_?"

"Yup. She's rather good. Just don't let her know that you know, you don't want to go creating more timeline ripples as.." The TARDIS rocks violently. "What the _hell_ was that?"

The younger Sally steps to the console. "The implosion device has triggered!"

Ivan runs to see, "No, no, No! It can't have done!"

Older Sally joins her. "The sun has a black spot that's growing fast."

"We need to counter it."

Eleven runs to see the console, "With what? You can't throw anything in it, it'll just eat it up."

Ivan nervously runs a hand over his head, "There's one thing that might. It's a slim chance, never been tried before, might go the other way.."

"Spit it out man!"

"Artron energy. Several TARDIS worth."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Yes, but as I've said before it's not a recent thing. Ah, you came before me, you wouldn't remember."

Old Sally pushes them all to one side, "The heat of the sun took out the far side of ours, the Master and the bomb got sucked out. I can ask our's to vent now, she knows she's got limited time left."

"And the artron energy from the exploding TARDIS?"

"I can't say what happened to that, no data, sorry."

"Do it."

Sally grabs a cable and plugs in, closes her eyes and talks to their TARDIS. "She says she understands, artron venting now." Eyes opened she watches the monitor. "It's shrinking, not as fast as I'd have liked. I don't think it will be enough."

Eleven peers over her shoulder, "Artron energy can't just _vanish_ , where'd the other TARDIS worth go? And when did you wire that thing into the console?"

"I'm a fast worker, I did it while you were putting your TARDIS into remote control mode."

"Oou, I like you, fancy being a compan.."

Chris materialises noisily Master style into their midst only to be kicked super fast in the balls with a two footed drop kick by young Janice.

He doubles up in agony on the floor, "Again? Bitches!"

Janice scrambles to her feet, "Awesome! Dad let me have his old Street Fighter console games. I've wanted to try that move for real for _so_ long! I told you not to underestimate me."

Sally acts fast and gets him held in a stasis field. "I believe that's where the missing energy went. How do we drop him into the blackhole?"

Luce looks at the sorry excuse of a man. "While he's still hurting drop the field and hurt him some more. Hurt him so much his brain can't think of anything else. Then kick him out and let gravity do the rest."

"Hurt him how?"

"Grab him by the balls and squeeze with all your might." She sees the look on all the faces. "What? I used to have a male body remember? I still remember how things work. Only now I have to worry about punches to boobs not balls."

Young Caroline nods at Sally, "Do it."

"Hold up!" Her older self walks over fast, "Could I? He's the reason I got stuck here with Jan and Sal."

"He's all your's."

Old Caroline nods at the Sally pair, "Three, two, one, drop!" She grabs him by the crutch hard. "Who did you rape before you locked me in Danny's parent's room?"

"Fuck you!"

She squeezes hard and he screams.

"Tell me!"

"Can't!"

"Can't or won't?" The grip is tightened.

"Didn't get any names."

"Names! Plural? You fucking monster! I don't look like it now but I'm the one that punched you in the groin. Talk!"

He tries to use The Master's trick again to transport himself elsewhere, screams as Caroline grabs harder still, her arm and hand literally burning with the energy surging around his body.

"I'm getting a new body, burn me all you want you evil shit!" She moves her thumb and feels through the material, drives the nail into a testicle getting a blood curdling scream. " _Don't let a boy get in the way of greatness_ my father said. Get out of our way you evil scumbag!" She presses harder still, he screams and passes out from the pain. "That should do. Someone help me kick him out."

The seven Earth women work together to push him out the door into space.

Old Janice hangs onto the door frame and manages a final hard kick, "Vaffanculo!", pulls herself safely inside and does an exaggerated brushing of hands, "That's the rubbish gone. How long will he take to hit the spot? Oh God, that sounded so wrong, he's not going anywhere near _my_ G spot."

Young Sally returns to the console, "He's accelerating fast, another eleven seconds. What was meant by sentient synth?"

Luce joins her, "As I'm a copy of her design maybe I should be the one to say. The fact you're questioning it means you probably don't need it, you've evolved on your own. Professor Mattie Hawkins matured code written by David Elster, woke up all synthetics. You'd be as human as the rest of them."

Caroline laughs, waves her badly burnt arm and winces, "She's already on the way. Mattie's way wasn't the only one. And with a synth body I'll be as synthetic as you dear. Can't wait! Fuck this really hurts. Anyone got pain killers?"

The TARDIS rocks again.

"What was that?"

Sally looks at the display, "He's hit, the blackhole's.. was.. it's collapsed and gone."

Ivan smiles, "Did I say I was bound to be right eventually?"

"No?"

"I should have."

Bill coughs, "Tea and scones anyone? Nardole's been busy."

Eleven grabs one, "It's got to be better than fish fingers and custard.. mmm. Miles better. Milk three sugars please."

[Chapter-30](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-30-1)


	30. Chapter 30

Young Caroline stands in the doorway and watches her older self, Janice and the two Sally walk up the factory steps. "Bill, are you sure she's doing the right thing? Coming back with someone else's look.."

"She'll be fine. She'll be able to fit in without people questioning why she looks like you. She'll look like someone I knew, minus the star shaped iris."

"Did you fancy her?"

"Yeah, lots."

"Are you hoping we've turned gay being stuck in a TARDIS for years with no men about?"

"No, no.. well maybe a teeny tiny bit. She was well cute. She liked me too. She, other you that is, asked if we knew any girls that had died that people might not have missed yet."

"And Janice?"

"She wouldn't say, other than it's going to be a surprise."

"Or shocker. Janice likes making people jump." She glances over her shoulder to see her BFF talking to Nardole.

Bill turns to see too, "She looks the sort. You know this synthetic conversion may be short lived?"

"What do you mean?"

"If you find the girls that were raped, report the man, the time line will change. What happened in the future might not happen at all, the old you we're watching won't have lived in a TARDIS in space for years, this moment won't happen."

"But it is happening, in my time, now."

"You'd still exist, they might suddenly vanish."

"You mean like Marty watching his family fade away in Back to The Future?"

"That's it. Only they won't fade, they'd be there one moment, not the next. Pop. Gone."

"Pop? They'd explode?"

"No! Pop as air suddenly fills the vacuum where they'd been standing. Assuming they were standing."

"Shit. So the girls need to be left as casualties?"

"People die all the time. I've seen too many already. Young kids too. The Doctor, Doctors, they do their best but they can't save them all. At least they're still alive."

"What if one turns into a monster because of the way she was treated?"

"Then the Doctors return and sort out the problem. Not before, they don't preemptively fix things."

"I have an idea then. I'm going to visit Jack with Janice, ask him to help us work out a load of self defence moves. Then I'll set up a class at the local Scouts hut and invite all the girls that went to the party. I don't need to know who he attacked, only that he won't be able to do it again, not with any of them."

"Good. How old did he look? In comparison to when you'd seen him at the party?"

"Identical, why.. OMG. You think he might not exist back in our time now?"

"It's a strong possibility if it doesn't look like he's aged."

"What did Janice mean by _It sounded like she was enjoying it but our bodies can do things we don't want them to?_ "

"Have you ever masturbated?"

"No!"

"Really no or too ashamed to say?"

"Really, no. That's something Janice would do. She's the explorer when it comes to bodies."

"Oh. It's a whole new experience coming your way then. The body will respond to stimulation if you want it to or not. Men and women that have been raped can feel their body has betrayed them, they feel dirty because they ejaculated or had an orgasm. It wasn't their fault. Somehow you need to get that into your self defence training, that if they're not able to overpower their attacker or escape the consequences are not their fault, they're not to blame in any way. The only one at fault is the attacker."

"How do you know all that?"

"A long set of messages on Twitter."

"Twitter?"

"One of the most viewed social media platforms. On this planet anyway."

"There's better?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"What you think is better. And that depends on you being a GMH, CMH or EMH.."

"A what?"

"Modified human. Genetically, computerally, if that's even a word. Or Environmentally."

"Computerised? You could say Electronically."

"Yeah, but then there'd be two EMH. We fell into a parallel universe a few weeks ago, people had computer interfaces wired into their heads for Facebook and Google Plus." She pulls a face and shivers. "We got out faster than you could say _Oh Custard_!"

Caroline laughs, "I like Eleven, he's funny. Odd funny." Her smile turns into a frown, "If the timeline isn't changed this is all going to happen again isn't it? I'll grow into older me, live in that TARDIS for years, rescue younger me and die in there."

"But middle aged you came back. Did you see graves?"

"No."

"Then they might have existed at one time, don't now. Before the last regeneration he told me time's fractured. Even though you probably won't grow up to be stuck on there she still exists. If you mess with it more she might vanish. What's that old saying? If it ain't broken don't fix it?"

"Yeah. One of my older teachers uses that."

"Don't think about the future too hard, the universe might notice and go correcting things it missed tidying up."

"Okay. You're talking like them, that the universe is a conscious thing."

"I'm just messing with you. At least I hope I am. It would be well weird if it really was conscious. I don't know about you but I need another cuppa. Where'd the Doctors go?"

"Something about checking for a book in the library."

Bill raises eyebrows, "Oh. They could be gone a while. When you messed with the controls first visit to the TARDIS all the books fell off the shelves."

"I did?"

"Yeah. Millions of them. Got the Doctor out of his bath too. You won't remember any of that. He came up here in only a towel."

"You're kidding!"

"Straight up."

"I wish I could remember seeing that. D'you think he'd want a girlfriend in a few years?"

Bill chuckles, "You want to date a Doctor?"

"Why not?"

Bill shrugs, "No reason."

"What's an EMH exactly?"

"Someone like the fella we pushed out of the TARDIS. Brain rewired by thinking too much about something that's happened. Anything could cause it, their atmosphere changing, work or family life, getting obsessively hooked on a radio series, getting continuously mad about being punched in the balls. That was his fault obviously."

[Chapter-31](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-31-1)


	31. Chapter 31

A day later the TARDIS console starts beeping.

Nardole gives the Doctors a glance and throws a switch, "Four synthetic humans detected. Maybe now we can return to the University?"

"For what? Guarding an empty vault?"

"No, your lectures sir."

Bill pulls a zany face, "They were interesting, _weird_ but interesting. How are these two taking over from the old Doctor? _Hello, it's me, I just split into two and changed my look just for a bit of fun_.. It's not as simple as me going back to picking up a chip pan."

Ivan smiles, "We'll find a way, there's always a way. Most of the time."

"It won't be empty. I surrender."

They turn to see Missy, her hands up. "Trying the other body again," she shakes her head, "big big mistake, far too unstable and easily influenced."

Ivan works the controls, "A momentary detour then. Nardole, log the time so we can return to the exact space and time."

"Done Sir."

Janice smiles at Missy, "I liked you in the earlier series."

"Thank you dear. I can't be all bad then. I'll return and remember more names."

Missy back in the vault they return to the second after they'd left. They all step to the doorway and watch four young ladies walk down the last of the steps from the factory.

Caroline frowns, "Which one's which?"

Bill grins, "You're on the left. Our left."

As they get closer Caroline glances at the Doctors, "Did you know Luce?"

"Know what?"

"The look Jan was after."

"She hinted, why?"

"Correct me if I'm light years out but isn't she a blend of Sally and Jenny Flint?"

"Um.. my word! You're right!"

"So Jan becomes Jen. OMG! Bill, are you going to be able to cope?"

"That's just mean!"

The four step up to the TARDIS, all smiles.

"I decided to keep the star iris. Do you like it Bill?"

Bill shrugs, looks at the grass, "It's okay I guess."

"Come give me a kiss then."

She looks up, confused, "Sorry?"

"Car remembered something from years ago."

"Car? You mean Caroline?"

"Yeah. I'm Janice, Heather now. We switched."

"Oh! Um. Okay. Not in front of everyone though. I've never kissed a synthetic before."

"There's a first time for everything." Heather grabs her hand, pulls her in close and plants her lips squarely on Bill's. Bill resists a little at first, then goes with it. She stops to allow Bill to get air. "Not bad for a human. You need practice, lots of it." She winks.

Bill frowns, "Wow. Are you.."

"Gay? A lesbian? Almost, I'm bi. Watch out Nardole you big teddy bear."

Nardole runs, "I think I heard the kettle boiling, who's for tea?"

Jenny chuckles, "Don't wind him up, he'll break."

"I think I will go to Birmingham to get crisps this time.."

"Nardole! I'm only playing games with you!"

"I'm still going for crisps, see you at the university Doctors."

Heather gets closer to the doors, "There's only one exit and you're running away from it!"

"Oh. So I am. Would you mind moving?"

"Yes I would mind. It was a joke. You're not my type, you've got nothing to worry about."

"I'm not?"

"There's a lad I'd got the hots for called Billy. Janice probably wants to see him again. No offence."

"None taken. Nice work on the rebuild. Any issues?"

Heather does a little dance, "All feels good. Nothing squeaking, rattling or falling off. Heather Janice Taylor approves. Why don't you get an upgrade?"

"I may need regular maintenance but I'm quite happy with what I've got at the moment thanks. Shall we get you back to the party?"

[Chapter-32](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-32-1)


	32. Chapter 32

The six stand outside the front of Danny's house with the Doctors, Bill and Nardole, the noise of music escaping through windows.

Caroline gives Luce a hug, "Thanks for everything."

"The whole galaxy should be thanking you not the other way around. Best to keep that hush hush though, otherwise people will ask too many questions. There's a load of other races that wouldn't be too happy. And we'd need to return to do wipes."

"You agreed you wouldn't."

"So you keep your end of the bargain. Your silence is all that's needed."

"Okay. Um.. we're definitely here after we left? We're not going to bump into ourselves?"

"Positive."

"Cool." Caroline gets her phone out, "Bunch up, quick group selfie before someone opens the door." She snaps a pic with arm outstretched. "Awesome."

There's a clink of glass. "Here's your cover story for vanishing for a few minutes."

"Bottles of Cider, thanks! I won't be drinking any of it though."

"Just sip some, leave the mostly full bottle when the party's over."

"Okay. It's been fun. And bloody scary. I can't wait to see my family again. Even pain in the bum Tommy."

Ivan gives her a hug, "Good luck with everything."

"Thanks."

Heather smiles, more at Bill than the others, "Feel free to pop by and say hello once in a while. I'm sure old and new me would like to see you."

"It's a date. I mean.."

"What ever you want to call it, I'll look forward to it."

The two Sally synths exchange hugs and say "Be safe" to Nardole.

Older Sally gives him a smile, "If maintenance gets too much for The Doctors consider a synth upgrade, you won't regret it."

"I'll think about it. Thanks for the food ideas." The front door handle turns, but the door doesn't open. "I tightened that pesky grub screw earlier, we better go Doctors, I'll unlock the door as we depart."

The three step inside and close the door.

Caroline looks around her friends, "Everyone remember the cover story? .. Good."

Heather continues to nod, "Yeah, but if anyone even _thinks_ of trying a chin tap on me they're getting dropped!"

Jenny grins, "Likewise. Caroline, are you sure Mum and Dad are going to accept that you won me and Jan, sorry, Heather in a synth competition?"

Caroline does the biggest smile she'd ever achieved, waits for the TARDIS to vanish, "When they see our psychic papers, yes."

" _What_?"

"All those _years_ in a TARDIS and you didn't realise there's a stationary cupboard? And you call yourself an explorer.. I mapped out the whole of the one we've arrived in last night."

"Papers plural? How many have you got?"

"I didn't ask the old girl to make you a Jenny Flint leather fighting costume for nothing, you've got a fifth of a ream minus the box hidden around you."

"I'm a psychic paper mule?"

"You don't need to breathe, it would be too obvious on me."

The younger of the two Sally frowns, "You stole paper?"

"The first Doctor stole a TARDIS. And anyway, the _TARDIS_ showed me where it was, lit the way, all the way to the box on the shelf. I think she wanted us to have it, her way of saying thanks."

"Awesome."

Old and refurbished Sally smiles a guilty smile, has a sparkle in her eye, "Is now the time to confess?"

"Confess to what?"

"I sent Peter's Sally a message."

"When?"

"Hours ago."

"Huh? How?"

"By taking mini spring rolls off his baking tray at strategic places. If his Sally joined up the dots over eight trays she'd have seen a postcode, house number, date and time."

Jenny's mouth drops open, "Fucking hell!"

Caroline frowns hard, "Are you telling me we could have used that to get a message to me _before_ I whacked Chris in the balls?"

"Possibly."

"We could have saved ourselves _so_ much agro!"

"True. But then we'd only be three not six."

"I guess so. Do any of you really want to go in or shall we order a cab back to mine?"

Jenny puts an arm around each of the Sally, "I think we need to go in for a few minutes, then say goodbye. How do we stop Sally having to go back to the rental firm?"

The younger turns and smiles, "She went missing. We've both got new serial numbers and build dates. We can't possibly be her. Danny must have done something with her."

Caroline looks shocked, "No! We can't pin that on him! He may have been a little drunk, wanted to see your boobs, but he didn't rape anyone and he did do the right thing and try to talk Chris out of hurting me."

Jenny rubs her tummy. "I have a cunning plan.."

"You're Baldrick now are you?"

"Better. We use the paper. Sally detected an impending catastrophic systems failure, signalled the hire company, the Sally here are her replacement."

"And the hire company?"

"Gets paperwork to say she's been scrapped by the council after being found crushed. Must have been damaged by a hit and run."

"Okay. But that's the one and only time we use it dishonestly right?"

"If you say so."

"I say so. We don't want to piss off the old girl, she might be watching."

A car pulls up and Peter gets out, his Sally gets out of the passenger side and opens the boot.

"Hello Caroline, Sally said you'd be here. I've got a few new things for you to try and some old favourites, shall we get baking?"

The three Sally exchange knowing looks and head-bump.

[Chapter-33](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-33-1)


	33. Chapter 33

At half midnight Caroline has a wander around looking for Peter, she wanted to say thanks for all the extra food before the cab arrived. She finds him sat on the sofa shoulder to shoulder with his Sally watching TV. More Doctor Who. "I don't know if Danny's bothered to say anything but thanks for all the food. It went down really well."

"Not a problem. I've got all the feedback I need to publish now."

"Cool. Which episode is this?"

"Um.." Peter taps the remote, "The Magician's Apprentice."

They watch as Clara looks straight at her and winks.

Peter frowns, "Did she just.."

"Just what?"

"Never mind. I think Sally better drive tonight."

"Seen my Dr Who themed synths?"

"Upstairs with the others, Janice is putting on a show with Jenny and Heather."

" _What_!" Caroline runs through the house, knocks a few people on the way. "Sorry! Excuse me please!" As she climbs the stairs a horrible chill comes over her, it was 2015. Was that the right series Peter was watching? She takes the stairs two at a time, the lads would like nothing more than a girl on girl show, the randy bastards. She races to the master bedroom to find a crowd of girls and boys in the hall all trying to listen. "Excuse me!" She shoves her way through and halts. Janice, the other two Sally, Jenny, Heather, Mattie and several other party goers were holding sheets of paper.

"Janice! Our cab will be here soon."

Janice looks up, "You missed the first two acts of our play Car! Where were you?"

"I can't say."

"What d'you mean can't?"

"Not here."

Janice looks around the room, "Sorry everyone, we're out of time. Excuse us one minute." She grabs Caroline's hand and leads her out of the room, squeezes past the people in the hall and heads towards the bathroom. "Excuse me please, quick conflab needed with my BFF."

Inside the bathroom Caroline grins and waves her phone. "I got a special thank you gift. I said I didn't need anything, just my friends. They insisted. So I gave mine to someone else. They'll be coming to see you."

"What _are_ you talking about Car?"

"A trip of your choice. Check my photos."

"Okay.. Huh? You got a selfie with Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman? You lucky cow! She's gorgeous. And when d'you and Tommy meet the cast of Guardians of.. Oh My God! Is this the sequel?"

"Yup. They don't start filming for ages.."

"Fuck! It was The Doctor and Clara wasn't it! And I can pick anything?"

"As long as it's safe and won't upset the time line."

"Then I'm giving it to Mum and Dad, they can return to Venice in this time. That's safe enough. And I can have Billy come over for an uninterrupted night of passion."

Caroline grins and shakes her head, "That's the Italian half of you talking right?"

"The spicy half, yeah. No prizes for guessing where I got that from. Thankfully it's diluted."

Caroline laughs, "If you're the diluted version I hate to think what your Mum's like behind closed doors."

"At least I'm not a food thrower and I don't have her short fuse."

"We better get the others and get ready for the cab."

"Jenny and Heather are going with you right?"

"Yeah."

"What about Sally and Sally? They want to join the band, don't have a primary owner."

"When did they tell you that?"

"When we were getting ready for the play."

"Nice. Next video we'll be able to do something Robert Palmer style if Peter and Jack let their Sally join in. We'd have four identical members and no need to use special effects. Plus Heather, Jenny, Cindy and the two of us."

"Nine! Holy fuck! Now _that's_ a girl band! Think of the extra instruments we could introduce."

Caroline gives her friend a crazy face, "We're a rock band. We've got me on bass, Cindy on drums, Sally 1 on keyboards, you on the microphone and lead guitar. We need another guitar maybe. At a push a saxophone."

Janice does a When Harry met Sally impression and groans, "I _love_ some good sax!"

Caroline looks a little flustered, "Stop it! They'll think we're making out in here."

Janice rolls her eyes. "Relax honey bunny! Not sure sax would fit our style."

"You'd make it fit Jan. If Epica can fit violins and horns in you can squeeze a sax in. Want to take the Sallies home with you? Taking two synths home will get my parents asking questions, four would be too much."

"But that would make three in my house including Simon, Dad would definitely say no."

"They have to live somewhere, I'd not trust Danny with either of them."

"How about Jasmine? Maybe her Dad could do with some help?"

Caroline licks her front teeth, "Hmm." She smiles, "Maybe. Let's go, they can come over to mine tonight, I'll find out in the morning. I've ordered a taxi van, there'll be plenty space.

Jasmine checks her pockets for her phone, keys and purse. "Got everything?"

Caroline does the same, "Insta purse with card, key, phone and.. what's this?" She pulls out a bit of folded paper.

"What does it say?"

"I'm going to be here for years, have a grand piano. The acoustics are lovely in the vault, they'd make an ideal place to record a track. Love Missy."

Janice shivers, "Fuck that! She's not the sort of girl power we need. I vote we keep our distance."

"Not wrong there. I liked her on the telly, in reality she's a monster." Caroline folds the note and slips it back into the pocket. "If we turn her down would she do anything?"

"Who knows."

Caroline nods, "Exactly."

"Huh?"

"Who. The Doctors! When they, he, she comes to see you, whichever it is, ask about Missy."

There's a knock on the door and they both jump.

Caroline has her hand on her chest, breathes out slowly. "Yes?"

"Caroline, Janice, our ride home's here."

"Thanks Heather, we'll be right out."

They all say their goodbyes to Danny who'd sobered up, couldn't find Chris and looked really worried. Ex-hire Sally and her older self said goodbye to Peter and his Sally, got onto the back seats. The others climb in.

Janice watches him, "Danny, go ask Mattie, she'll confirm, Chris left the party a while ago, we all saw him leave. Don't lose the paperwork for the failed Sally."

"Shouldn't my Dad be the one to return the replacements?"

"My Dad wanted to hire a couple, we've got them from 1AM. It felt a bit pointless your Dad driving them there and then my Dad picking them up when we could take them now. I can show you the paperwork if you want?"

Caroline gives her a dig in the ribs and whispers, "What did I say?"

Janice grits her teeth, "It's all part of the agreed plan. Shush."

Danny nods, "Okay. Let's see them."

"One moment." She whispers to the others, "Did we collect all the script pages?"

"We did."

"Good, we don't want to be leaving psychic paper lying around. Any of you got a set handy?"

Jenny passes her's over.

"Thanks." She smiles at their host, "Here you are."

Danny walks over to the van and takes a look, "Okay. I'll let Dad know."

"Thanks."

He walks back to the house and stands in the doorway. Someone in a hoody squeezes past and gets to the van just as the sliding door is closing. A hand stops it just in time to leave a small gap. "I nagged her for months. We worked out the three, they've all been given the morning after pill and a mind wipe."

"Bill?"

"Be safe ladies. Especially you Heather, I want that date."

"Sure. Thanks."

"I better go before someone realises their hoody is missing. Laters." She opens the door a bit and slides it shut.

The synth driver looks in the mirror, "Are we good to depart?"

"All good. Thanks."

[Chapter-34](http://markse.name/humans/SPINCYCLEGIRL/Chapter-34-1)


	34. Chapter 34

The gang reach Caroline's to see lights on downstairs. They all get out and watch the taxi van do a three point turn and leave.

"Car, who's likely to be up, Mum or Dad?"

"Not sure." She pulls out her felt purse, unzips it and gets out the front door key. "Quiet as a mouse please the lot of you."

Sally turns to look up the road, turns again to see in the other direction. "There it is. Barbara's car. Cindy's here."

"She is?"

"The advantage of having WiFi, it works through walls. There's another with her. Though her signals are not correct."

"Peter's Sally?"

"No, I'd recognise her signature, it's not Sally. The signals are somehow.. different."

"Different how?"

"Not Persona or the future's DCL. Or any of the foreign brands I'm aware of."

Caroline smiled at the synth, she was contracting words like any other human. She puts the key in the lock and gets the door open.

She gets everyone into the front hall and takes a peep into the living room. "I'm home. Janice is crashing here. I've got a surprise." She rests her bottom against the wall and gets her ankle boots off.

Cindy steps into the hall, gives Janice a hug. "We have a visitor."

"Sally said."

Cindy turns to see the two Sally. "Hiya."

Janice grins at Caroline, raises an eyebrow and mouths Hiya?

"Oh. Hello. Of course. I like the new look."

The friends frown at each other and turn to see Cindy giving Heather a hug.

Caroline puts her boots on the shoe rack, "Heather, did you just bump.."

Heather nods and puts a finger to her lips.

"Right."

James can be heard moving, his voice getting closer, "I have a surprise too. What have you got?"

"I won a competition! I've got a couple of themed synths!"

"You won? Me too!" He steps into the hall. "Wow! You got the Heather and.. oh my.. She looks like Jenny Flint with a strong hint of Sally. Hello ladies, Sally _and_ Sally?"

"I'll explain in a moment Dad. You said _the Heather_ as if you knew of her and a set?"

"Of course, the whole lot are available as custom synths."

"But.. they said her episode hasn't aired yet? It won't for well over a year?"

"Who's the UK's greatest whovian?"

"Probably you Dad."

"Thanks." He leans close, "Which makes my prize a bit of a kick in the teeth."

"What do you mean?"

"She's not the one I'd have picked. I've have got a red dress Clara to help out your mother."

Caroline gives him a hard frown, looks into the living room, "She? Who'd you get? Donna?"

"I wish. She's making drinks for everyone. Come into the living room."

They all file in behind Caroline.

"Hi Mum. Still up Tommy?"

Tommy yawns and nods, sticks a thumb into his mouth, holds onto his Gamora doll with the other hand and snuggles into his mother.

Louise looks at the group, smiles a weak smile. "Good party girls?"

"It had it's moments Mum."

"Sorry things didn't work out with Toby."

"How.."

The synth James had won steps into the room holding a large tray. "I told them Caroline. Can I make you a drink?"

Janice moves quickly to block her path.

Caroline snarls, "How the fuck would you know.. unless.."

"Caroline!"

"Dad! She's not what you think she is."

"She's a Persona.."

"No Dad, she's not supposed to be here! She's somehow faking a synth signature, she's the real thing. Go back to the vault Missy!"

Missy's face turns a little angry, an expression no synth would make. "A thousand years I spent in that vault and you didn't visit even once to say hello! You think I'm going back? Only if the answer to the note in your pocket is now yes."


End file.
